Divorce is sheer grief. It pulls apart your routines, your identity and the story you believed you were living. In this episode of Rigour and Flow, we open up with one of our most private conversations.

Tamanda shares the long road from confusion to clarity in her first marriage. She reflects on growing up with parents who modelled peace but not conflict, and how that silence left her without the tools to navigate a hint of difficulty in her own relationship. She talks about sexless partnership, emotional distance, shrinking herself, and the quiet moment she realised she could not live another decade in a marriage that looked calm but felt empty.

She shares about rings coming off, crying in public, the support of older women and the slow, steady work of starting again. We also walk through the identity collapse that follows and the loneliness of losing not only your spouse but the entire community that forms around a marriage.

We then explore dating after divorce, stepping back into a world that feels unfamiliar and the gradual rebuilding of confidence, boundaries and desire.

Ultimately, we wrap up reflecting as a couple on how Tamanda found the courage to marry again. Then we get to how Aiwan’s certainty in proposing grounded Tamanda… and how conflict resolution, honesty and growth have reshaped the meaning of love the second time around.

🎧 In this episode:


• Marriage, fantasy and fallout: What no one tells us about divorce
• Leaving as liberation vs. staying as survival: Why the hardest choice can be the right one
• #CouplesGoals: Myths, fantasy and the reality of what we should be striving for, and what’s best left to Disney
• Unspoken silence and emotional distance: Why conflict skills matter more than compatibility in marriage
• Divorce and identity collapse: Sexless marriages, emotional avoidance and the cost of shrinking the self
• Living through D-days: Grieving someone who is still alive and why so many people stay too long
• Dating after divorce: Finding yourself again and choosing marriage again with clarity and courage

🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube

🔁 Share with someone navigating heartbreak, healing or hard decisions

#RigourAndFlow #Divorce #Relationships #LoveAndLoss #IdentityRebuild #GriefWork #DiasporaDialogues #AiAiStudios

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