Divorce Dialogues

Divorcing a Narcissist in Mediation With Brian James


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How do you negotiate with someone who has to be right? If you’re divorcing a narcissist, you know that they simply can’t see things from someone else’s point of view. So, how do you come to an equitable divorce agreement? And is mediation an appropriate option for divorcing a narcissist?
Brian James is the founder of CEL & Associates, a mediation practice with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. An experienced divorce and family mediator, Brian spent ten years resolving family conflicts in the criminal justice system before starting CEL & Associates in 2005. Brian is dedicated to helping clients come to an agreement outside the courtroom, creating a win-win situation for all involved in a divorce.
On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Brian joins Katherine to explain how to know if you’re married to a narcissist, describing what gaslighting looks like and how it makes you feel. He shares his approach to managing a narcissist in the divorce mediation process and discusses how he decides when mediation is the right option for a divorcing couple. Listen in for Brian’s insight on persuading a narcissist to try mediation and learn his top strategies for surviving a high-conflict divorce.
Topics Covered
How to know if you’re married to a narcissist (and why it’s hard to tell early on)
What it looks like when a narcissist is gaslighting you and how it makes you feel
How narcissists lack the capacity for empathy
Brian’s approach to managing a narcissist in the divorce mediation process
Why it’s crucial to come to a detailed, air-tight agreement if you’re divorcing a narcissist
How Brian determines whether mediation is the right option for a divorcing couple
Brian’s strategies for surviving divorce mediation with a high-conflict spouse
The narcissist’s inability to engage in respectful disagreement
How to persuade your spouse to try divorce mediation rather than go to court
How attorneys can support the mediation process when a narcissist is involved
Connect with Brian James
CEL & Associates: https://celandassociates.com/
CEL on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CELandAssociates
CEL on Twitter: https://twitter.com/IDivorceU
Call (312) 524-5829
Connect with Katherine Miller
The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
Call (914) 738-7765
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Divorce DialoguesBy Katherine Miller

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