Since everything is horrible and depressing, we decided to get into three light stories that are either made of fluffiness or fuckery or both! We start by talking about the TikToker who claims she got a 3-inch vibrator stuck up her butt, slept it in while it was still vibrating, and then went off to the hospital where she had to get surgery to get it removed. From the tale of the vibrating vibrator stuck in a culo, we move on to a story about a couple who has decided to live on a cruise ship year-round because it’s cheaper than living on land for them. And we really bring the fluffiness with the story of a man in Japan who is trying to fulfill his dream of becoming an animal by wearing a $15,000 “realistic” Lassie costume.

Other stories we cover include RiRi’s BaBi, everyone paying to see Top Gun: Maverick, a person in a wig trying to hit the Mona Lisa in the face with cake, James Corden admitting that he only washes his hair once every two months, and the Kardashian story that made me Google, “How do I unread something.”

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