One year after Dlisted: The Podcast’s last episode, we’re back and rustier than ever! Allison and I have reunited on the podcast to talk about the end of Dlisted and why I decided it was time for us to give up our corner on the gossip blog stroll. But before we get into the sadness, Allison tells me what she’s been up to in the past year and gives a highly accurate account (read: the opposite of that) of Vanderpump Rules‘ Scandoval and other gossip stories she missed while away. We also answer questions from listeners before my cold dead heart starts to thaw and warm as we say goodbye.

Thank you to everyone who listened to us and supported us. We may be back, but the bad news is, we may be back with our podcast on the life and times “Schena Schaeffer.” Sorry, you have to listen to get it. That’s called marketing!

As we mentioned last episode, this one is our final one for the year, and we start it off on a really damn depressing and horrible note by getting into SCOTUS’ overturning of Roe v. Wade and some celebrity responses including ones from Lizzo, Tiffany Haddish, Howard Stern, Billy Joe Armstrong, and Pink. From there, we talk about Elon Musk’s transgender daughter declaring in court that she’s done with him. And Allison shares her true love for Mountain Dew while talking about Ben Affleck’s home office soda fountain.

Other stories we quickly cover include a young Richard Gere helping Anderson Cooper realize he likes peen, the ridiculous movie theater in Oklahoma that took THINK OF THE CHILDREN to new levels of stupid by fast-forwarding through a same-sex kiss in Lightyear, Chris Pratt saying that he doesn’t like to be called Chris, Amazon Alexa’s newest creepy feature, and Brad Pitt searching for gold on his vineyard. We finish the episode off with Show & Tell where Allison recommends a sci-fi HBO show from the 90s and I recommend my new favorite music review platform. WARNING: If you love Shania Twain’s Man I Feel Like A Woman or Natasha Bedingfield’s These Words, you will feel attacked!

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or a note, e-mail us at [email protected]!

We start off this episode by answering to why we didn’t have a show last week (SPOILER ALERT: Allison was sick. #NotCOVID). Allison then shares some big personal news which leads us to talking about big podcast news. And after I pop open a Champale in Allison’s honor, we get into Britney Spears’ wedding including Jason “Not George Costanza” Alexander crashing that shit, Britney cursing out her brother over the news that he was invited, the wedding dress (it was Ver-sayce), the food, and the extremely random guest list. We’re going to need a Netflix investigative docu-series to explain to us why Ansel Elgort was there. And from Britney’s happy news, we wade into messy and depressing waters by covering Ezra Miller’s alleged terrorization of an 18-year-old.

Other stories we quickly cover include Julia Garner playing Madonna in the Madonna-directed Madonna biopic, Lea Michele being the first choice to replace Beanie Feldstein in Funny Girl, Netflix’s Squid Game game show, Martha Stewart getting made fun of for her “kid-friendly” salmon chowder, and Tom Brady agreeing to give his worn chonies to a fan

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at [email protected]!

THE QUEEN’s Platinum Jubilee happened and we talk about how the show was stolen by Prince Louis and THE QUEEN’s hologram (which was apparently not a hologram but a Pepper’s Ghost illusion). But before that, we cover the end of the massive shit show circus dumpster fire mess that was Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s defamation trial. And we also talk #SwedenGate, the viral discussions about how some Swedes don’t feed their kids’ friends during playdates.

Other stories we cover include the possible extinction of Elvis-themed weddings in Las Vegas, the break-up of Lori Harvey and Michael B. Jordan, the woman who claims her date made her pay for her own food at Applebee’s, and Morbius deciding that flopping once wasn’t enough, so it decided to flop twice!

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at [email protected]!

Since everything is horrible and depressing, we decided to get into three light stories that are either made of fluffiness or fuckery or both! We start by talking about the TikToker who claims she got a 3-inch vibrator stuck up her butt, slept it in while it was still vibrating, and then went off to the hospital where she had to get surgery to get it removed. From the tale of the vibrating vibrator stuck in a culo, we move on to a story about a couple who has decided to live on a cruise ship year-round because it’s cheaper than living on land for them. And we really bring the fluffiness with the story of a man in Japan who is trying to fulfill his dream of becoming an animal by wearing a $15,000 “realistic” Lassie costume.

Other stories we cover include RiRi’s BaBi, everyone paying to see Top Gun: Maverick, a person in a wig trying to hit the Mona Lisa in the face with cake, James Corden admitting that he only washes his hair once every two months, and the Kardashian story that made me Google, “How do I unread something.”

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at [email protected]!

God may be side-eyeing Jason Momoa today because Jason went against the rules of the Sistine Chapel by taking pictures in it. BLASPHEMY! He later apologized in a video of him taking a break from working out topless. So we get into that. This is also a Jason Momoa-heavy episode because we talk about him getting with Eiza Gonzalez. From there we talk about how the current poster couple for Doing The Most, Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly, could be married and expecting a baby (but probably not). And we talk about The Devil Eats Meat and Cheese starring Anna Wintour.

Other stories we cover include the audience member who had the audacity to try to check Patti LuPone after she checked them for not wearing a mask right, Prince William getting booed at a football match, Kelly Rowland’s X-rated tweet that she didn’t know was X-rated, Sarah Silverman admitting she shares a toothbrush with her man, and everyone probably Googling “coordinates for Christopher Meloni’s home gym window” after Christopher Meloni said he works out naked in his home gym and doesn’t block out the window.

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at [email protected]!

Every body language expert in the body language-analyzing game is about to be really busy because Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will return to his homeland of England for his memaw, THE QUEEN’S, Platinum Jubilee, and we’re sure that won’t be awkward at all. From there, we get into Kim Cattrall talking about being done with playing Samantha Jones for the 9,745,883th time, and TV’s Sherlock Holmes, Benedict Cumberbatch, using his detective ears to try to figure out what the hell Ariana Grande is saying when she mumble sings.

Other stories we quickly cover include Dolly Parton getting inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame whether she likes it or not, the Virgin Atlantic flight that had to turn back because of a pilot whoopsie, Tropicana’s cereal that is meant to be eaten with orange juice, and Meghan McCain’s latest memoir selling a whopping 244 hard copies in its first week. We also answer a question from several listeners who are wondering why we haven’t covered the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial. Surprisingly our answer isn’t, “Because the trial has been very calm and foolery hasn’t been afoot at all during it.”

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at [email protected]!

Because of that headline, you already know we’re going to get into this year’s Met Gala (theme: Gilded Glamour) including Kim Kardashian making Marilyn Monroe’s gown look like its tag says SHEIN. We also use our fashion expertise (read: none) to talk about the hits (not many) and misses (many) of the night. From there, we get into Olivia Wilde getting served custody papers by Ted Lasso in front of everyone, and Oprah not leaving her “house” (listen, a sprawling ass estate is a “house” to The Mighty O) for 322 at the beginning of the pandemic.

Other stories we quickly cover include an update on Adele’s Las Vegas residency, Drake selling expensive ass candles at Shoppers Drug Mart, Aqua’s Barbie Girl not being in the upcoming Barbie movie, and Reba McEntire saying that if you want to get a hold of Dolly Parton, you have to fax her. And anybody who remembers that Aretha Franklin/Dionne Warwick fax story, now knows that legends use faxes!

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at [email protected]!

Elon Musk is now Twitter’s daddy after buying it, and we get into Elon’s journey to buy his new toy, as well as what changes he plans to make and if Twitter lover Allison is going to stay or not. We also get into the train wreck trial between Blac Chyna and the Kardashians, and we cover the 100% accurate study that lists the countries with the biggest average hard peen size. I know, finally some news!

Other stories we talk about include Lea Michele showing Jonathan Groff her “whole vagina,” Misha Collins coming out as straight after falsely coming out as bi, Stephen King’s gourmet salmon recipe, the Cash Me Ousside Girl’s alleged OnlyFans earnings, and THE QUEEN’s complicated ass way of eating a banana. SPOILER ALERT: It includes a damn knife and a damn fork.

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at [email protected]!

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle had a little 15-minute kiki with THE QUEEN (they were in the area, sort of), and Allison and I get into that along with Prince Charles being open to them becoming “part-time royals” in the future. We also talk about the random drama on the set of Magic Mike 3 between Thandiwe Newton and Channing Tatum, and the man who won $450,000 against his old job for firing him after he had a panic attack at the office birthday party they threw for him and forced him to go to. WARNING: We bring up K*rk C*m*r*n’s name while talking about this since he’s the office birthday party king, obviously.

Other stories we cover include ScarJo once again denying the rumor that she boned Benicio Del Toro in an elevator back in the day, Cardi B and Offset naming their baby Wave Set, Darren Criss and wife Mia Swier naming their baby Bluesy Belle, and Rihanna temporarily quitting the good shit since she’s pregnant. I know, we bring you the news of RiRi’s weed break on 4/20!? For shame!

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at [email protected]!