What happens to a dream deferred? A dream filled with tight outfits, latex boots, and furs? A dream saturated with showmanship, physicality, and wholesome recreation for both him and her? A dream of Bob: "Bob the Professional Wrestler". Does a dream deferred dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore—one that you caught last weekend from that hot Belgian? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or smell like Katya after a long show—like a sweaty, pickled beet? Maybe it just sags and squelches like a heavy load. Or does it, like the pure podcast magic that is Trixie and Bob in the same room for an hour, simply explode?

For sustainable size and gender inclusive underwear, swimwear and loungewear for all bodies, head to https://tomboyx.com

Join the 17 million Rakuten members who are already saving! Start all of your holiday shopping at https://Rakuten.com or download the Rakuten app to start saving today. Your Cash Back really adds up!

Turn your holiday purchases into steps toward your financial goals with Chime’s secure credit card. Get started today at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like Progress.

This holiday season, unwind and recharge with VIIA! If you're 21+, try VIIA today at: https://viia.co/BALD and use code BALD to receive 15% off!

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If one were to print out all of Bruce Vilanch's writing, acting, and producing credits on a dot-matrix printer and lay that continuous piece of paper on the ground, it would encircle the world approximately one hundred and eighty seven times. From The Brady Bunch Variety Hour to the famously infamous Star Wars Holiday Special starring Bea Arthur and Harvey Korman to too many awards shows to count, two-time Emmy-Winner Bruce Vilanch is a walking, talking encyclopedia of Hollywood history. Come join us for an exceedingly charming chat with a true living legend.

To pre-order Bruce's brand-new book, "It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time," click HERE.

Save on the perfect gift by visiting https://AuraFrames.com to get $35-off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code BALD at checkout. This deal is exclusive to listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays! Terms and conditions apply.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Need a website? Head to https://www.SquareSpace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.SquareSpace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

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As we struggle to recover from the annual ritual of shoving Aunt Grace's bone-dry turkey and lumpy mashed potatoes down our gullets while listening to Uncle Billy yell at the TV about the Chicago Bears' wide-open tight-ends, let us raise a glass of Alka-Seltzer and propose a toast to Joe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella from the Good Children podcast. Here's to two shockingly likeable childhood friends from Long Island chatting about dropping their pants for views, shooting a low-budget iPhone camera talk-show, and infringing upon Trixie and Katya's copyrighted friendship.

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

This holiday season, gift yourself some peace of mind. If you’re 21+, go to: https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use code BALD to receive 15% off! After you purchase, they ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them Trixie & Katya sent you. This holiday season, enhance your everyday with VIIA.

To get Mint Mobile's new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://MintMobile.com/BALD today!

Turn your holiday purchases into steps toward your financial goals with Chime’s secure credit card. Get started today at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like Progress.

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

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Author, Film & TV Critic, and all-around Horror Sommelier Gretchen Felker-Martin joins Katya from the wilds of Worcester for an in-depth review of the best horror films of 2024, the must-read horror novels out now, and some absolutely amazing news about Gretchen's blockbuster novel, Manhunt.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Join the 17 million members who are already saving! Start all of your holiday shopping at https://Rakuten.com or download the Rakuten app to start saving today. Your Cash Back really adds up!

For a limited time, visit https://AuraFrames.com and get $45 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code BALD at checkout! This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so don’t miss out! Terms and conditions apply.

Take the best care of your leather handbags and products! Head to https://MyCuire.com to get your leather care kit today. The best way to make your handbag last forever!

Follow Gretchen: @GretchenFelkerMartin

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Good morning, and welcome to the annual meeting of the National Association for Supporting The Yuck, (N.A.S.T.Y.), where certified uggos from all over Southern California come to the Burbank Holiday Inn Express to embrace our beady eyes, crooked teeth, bulbous noses, and horrible skin. If you got up this morning and thought to yourself, "I don't think I'm a very attractive person," you're 100% correct. But please, as a favor to me, do not dwell on the fact that you're aesthetically deficient. Instead, focus on the indisputable certainty that your beauty is simply inverted; like a perfectly-fried crispy egg roll, your good stuff is all on the inside. In a world where happiness and success can be achieved despite severe genetic impairments, our group's motto has never been more relevant: "Not everyone is hot, and that's okay." If you strive to develop an intellect that can elicit a smile, a laugh, or even a smirk, trust me when I say that there is absolutely nothing as hot as being genuinely funny, smart, and most importantly: f*cking kind. And on that note, I want to thank you for attending. Complimentary coffee and snacks will be served in the lobby, and please remember to pay your dues by the 30th.

To try America's #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well, go to https://GreenChef.com/BALD50 and use code BALD50 for 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next two months!

This holiday season, gift yourself some peace of mind! If you’re 21+, check out https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use code BALD to receive 15% off! After you purchase they ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. This holiday season, enhance your everyday with VIIA!

You owe yourself a trip and trips are always better with Airbnb. If you want more space, more privacy, a better location, and the most loved homes, check out https://Airbnb.com or download the Airbnb app!

Take care of your leather handbags and products! Head to https://MyCuire.com to get your leather care kit today. The best way to make your handbag last forever!

Men's health? RocketRX has you covered! To check out RocketRX and start your free consultation, head to: https://rebrand.ly/170bbc

Follow Megan: @MegStalter

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Have you ever stared up at the stars, considered the shocking vastness of space, and asked yourself, "Are we alone in the universe?" A recent analysis from the Bald Center for Ludicrosity Studies may have your answer. As the government releases more information about Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena, or UAPs, there seems to be a growing consensus amongst podcast co-hosts that there is an earthly explanation for the UAP/UFO sightings. Dr. Kenneth Zomoldhikova, of the vaunted West Hollywood Institute, has put forward his cryptoterrestrial hypothesis for the UAPs, theorizing that the intelligent beings responsible for these aircraft may be concealed in stealth right here on Earth. That could mean they are walking amongst us and passing as Academy Award-nominated human actors with shockingly gorgeous cheek-bones who look like the product of human-on-pigeon inter-species relations.

Need a website? Head to https://www.Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.SquareSpace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

As a special offer for our listeners, new customers GET 15% ALL Lume products with our exclusive code BALD - and if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals over 40% off their Starter Pack! Use code BALD for 15% off your first purchase at https://LumeDeodorant.com

Take care of your leather handbags and products! Head to https://MyCuire.com to get your leather care kit today. The best way to make your handbag last forever!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Shop Etsy this holiday season! For original gifts that say “I get you”... Etsy has it! Head to: https://www.Etsy.com

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Make your fall finances a little greener by working towards your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in 2 minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

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We come to this podcast…for magic. We come to Bald to chortle, to weep, to soil ourselves, to hear about Demi Moore's commanding yet disgusting performance in The Substance. Because we need that, all of us, that indescribable feeling we get when the theme music begins to fade, Trixie and Katya's angelic voices materialize, and we are transported to an enchanting place we've never been before; like an inane story about exercising with butt plugs or a trip to Costco to buy forty-eight razors and 7lbs of strawberries. Not just entertained, but somehow reborn, together, spewed from the collective birth canal, covered in amniotic fluid and writhing on the floor like a hairless, newborn gargoyle. We come for the sparkling sounds, words of both surprising wisdom and transcendent stupidity, delivered straight to our auricular orifices like Satan's DoorDash. Sounds that you can feel deep within your vulva. Somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place likе this. These forty-five minutes feel like thе best part of our week, and the stories about hot dog launchers and necrophilia feel perfect and powerful. Because here, they are. The Bald and the Beautiful. We sit in chairs and talk. We call it a podcast. The dolls are the dolls.

Get your gut going and support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Happy squatting!

Make your fall finances a little greener by working towards your financial goals with Chime! Open your account in 2 minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

This holiday season, gift yourself some peace of mind! If you’re 21+, check out https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use code BALD to receive 15% off! After you purchase they ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. This holiday season, enhance your everyday with VIIA!

To get Mint Mobile's new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://MintMobile.com/BALD

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After nine guests and eleven episodes' worth of meandering stories about historical colon blockages, mermaid genitalia, and cosmic boreworms, prepare your grey matter for even more meandering stories about dental care imposters, chastity device technology, and acceptable dildo quantities, but this time delivered by the one, the only: Trixie mother-effing Mattel. From all of us here at Bald, LLC, especially Cheryl from Accounts Receivable, we want to say welcome the f*ck back, Trixie.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Start all of your holiday shopping at https://Rakuten.com or download the Rakuten app to start saving today! Your Cash Back really adds up!

Do you want your leather handbag to last forever? Head to https://MyCuire.com to get your leather care kit today!

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's the 4th day of your all-gay Atlantis Cruise. You just left the Bahamas and the bed of a sexy Nassau scuba instructor. You're tired. You're hungover. Your stomach is full of rum, waffles, and passionfruit-flavored lube. The hot Caribbean sun is baking your pale-ass to a crisp. Do you know what you need? You need to go directly to your cabin, drink a bottle of Pedialyte, and take a 4-hour nap. But do you listen to me? Of course not. What do you do instead? You attend Joel Kim Booster's twenty-minute stand-up set about being a hot gay man having sex with other hot gay men, and heckle the hell out of him whilst spilling a bottomless mimosa all over your brand-new pink floral swim trunks.

To get Mint Mobile's new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://MintMobile.com/BALD today!

You owe yourself a trip and trips are always better with Airbnb. If you want more space, more privacy, a better location, and the most loved homes, check out https://Airbnb.com or download the Airbnb app!

Do you want your leather handbag to last forever? Head to https://MyCuire.com to get your leather care kit today!

Follow Joel Kim Booster: @IHateJoelKim

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Since the debut of The Bald and the Beautiful in October of 2020, Katya Zamolodchikova has tickled your ears with full-throated recommendations of tens of hundreds of films; many of which are great, most of which are not. As we approach the zenith of the Halloween season, be prepared for Joel Kim Booster to be utterly at odds with Katya's positively shining endorsement of Terrifier 3, with Miss Zamolodchikova describing it as what would happen if Ingmar Bergman decapitated Stanley Kubrick while simultaneously stabbing Wong Kar-wai with Jean-Luc Godard's sharpened femur.

Want to try the #1 meal kit for eating well? Go to https://GreenChef.com/BALD50 and use code BALD50 for 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next two months!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

If you’re 21+, check out VIIA. Head to https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use the code BALD to receive 15% off. This fall, enhance your everyday with VIIA!

Need a website? Check Out https://SquareSpace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.SquareSpace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

Take more control of your finances and stop waiting for payday! Open your account in minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.

Follow Joel Kim Booster: @IHateJoelKim

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices