If you need answers about your past life, we're here to help. As we gaze into the swirling mists of the unknown, we're seeing you. Not "you," but rather a past you. You're wearing a funny hat and white stockings. You're Henry Picklethorpe Wigglesworth IV, the Viscount of Golden Balls, Oxfordshire. Your estate, Hairy-Knob-upon-Fanny-Bottom, was famous for its 27 chimneys, haunted marmalade cellar, and the location of the only documented UK marriage between a man and a swan. You routinely bathed in earl grey tea and while loathed by most of the village, you were beloved by the local cabbage farmers due to your penchant for drunken cabbage copulation in the town square. Your current life is still echoing with aristocratic absurdity, so go forth knowing that whatever happens to you in this life, it'll never be quite as embarrassing as humping a cabbage under a full moon after drinking three bottles of absinthe.

To honor the complexity of human desire, Feeld presents you all the options and leaves you in control of your experience. Download Feeld now on the App Store or Google Play!

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Listen Anywhere!

http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast

Follo​w Trixie:

Official Website: https://www.trixiemattel.com/ ​

Facebook: ​https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel

Twitter (X): ​https://twitter.com/trixiemattel

Follow Katya:

Official Website: https://www.welovekatya.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo 

Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/katya_zamo 

About the Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya.

#TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful

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Do you love the idea of space travel, but hate the color blue and happen to be super gay? Introducing Pink Horizon! The universe’s first fabulously queer space exploration company. Final frontier? More like fierce frontier! Ooh there ain't no other way...to the cosmos, that is! Powered by science, pride, and just the right amount of interstellar trimix, we're gaying up the galaxy one phallus-shaped rocket at a time! Pink Horizon: to the Moon, the Goon, and beyond!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Start listening to amazing audio books and discover what’s beyond the edge of your seat! New members can try Audible now free for 30 days and dive into a world of new thrills. Visit https://Audible.com/BALD or text BALD to 500-500 today!

We love Hungryroot and so will you! For a limited time, get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life! Go to https://Hungryroot.com/BALD and use code BALD today!

Hims can help you find the personalized ED option that works for you. Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/BALD

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From the new OUTtv series Wish You Were Queer, Michael Henry and Tim Murray regale Trixie and Katya with epic tales of suburban cruising permits, the epicurean superiority of Chili's, and a hook-up debate as old as time: to chomp or not to chomp. Don't miss the May 22nd premiere of Wish You Were Queer on OUTtv!

Make progress towards a better financial future with Chime! Open your account in minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD

To check out Google Gemini, go to: ⁠https://gemini.google/students⁠

Get your gut going and support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+! Get 25% off your first month at: https://Ritual.com/BALD

Need a website? Head to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save

To use Ro's free insurance checker, go to https://Ro.co/BALD

Follow Tim: @tmurray06

Follow Michael: @MichaelHenry915

To check out "Wish You Were Queer" on OUTtv, head to: https://outtvglobal.com

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

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Greetings, you luminous kitchen sprites! Today, we’re embarking on a journey — not just of baking, but of awakening your lifestyle & fashion demon through the delicate magic of edible flowers. Because why just eat cake when you can also accessorize it?

STEP 1: DON'T GET YOUR BEGONIAS IN A BUNCH
To avoid a trip to the E.R., avoid begonias and instead find manufactured spiritual enlightenment with freshly-picked rose petals, pansies, or marigolds.

STEP 2: CLEAN THOSE FILTHY FLOWERS
Rinse your petals in a bowl of Acqua di Cristallo Tributo a Modigliani from a secret spring in France, which you can find on sale for $80,000 per bottle, as regular bottled water tastes of mediocrity.

STEP 4: DECORATION AS MANIFESTATION
Once your cupcakes are baked and cooled, it’s time to place the rose petals atop the lemon lavender frosting, pausing every few moments to reflect on your life and think of all the ways you'll spend that $100M advance from Netflix.

Remember that each rose petal is like a tiny love note from your recent meditation retreat in Bali. As you serve the cupcakes, don't forget to smile through your perfectly white veneers as you assert decoration dominance over your guests. Maintain eye contact as you devour the dessert in complete and utter silence, the sound of your ever-growing investment portfolio the only music your party guests deserve.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at ⁠https://BetterHelp.com/BALD⁠ and get on your way to being your best self!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In the depths of the city of angels, where devilish sinners prance,

There live two drag queens, luring innocent souls to Gomorrah with their twisted dance.

With rainbow flags flying, amidst the woke chaos no one can hear,

The cries of good 'ol Americans drowning their sorrows in watery domestic beer.

But down in the South, where mint juleps flow like water and the bayou air is pure,

The laws of the Crawdad and the Bible are the only cure.

So put down that wig, makeup, and butt-plug, and travel with us to where cornfields sway,

Escape the madness of the big city of L.A., and order a bowl of Crawfish Étouffée.

Need a website or domain? Check Out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, head to: https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

Hims can help you find the ED option that's best for you! Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/BALD

Now is the time to join the Naked Wines community! Head to https://NakedWines.com/BALD, click ‘Enter Voucher’ and put in our code BALD for both the code AND password for 6 bottles of wine for JUST $39.99 with shipping included!  That’s $100 off your first six bottles!

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Chunky or creamy, innie or outie, hot or cold, tall or short, spicy or mild, text or call, sweet or sour, clean or dirty, gentle or rough, baked or fried, wet or dry, pizza or pasta, confetti or glitter, loud or quiet, elbows or knees, sparkling or still! Whether life serves you lemons or lemonade, give yourself a kiss today, 'cuz honey you were born some way.

Consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you’re away, as your home might be worth more than you think! Find out how much at https://Airbnb.com/HOST

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS an additional 30% off when you shop at https://Blissy.com/BALDPOD Your skin and hair will thank you!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we enter the final lead-up to Easter Sunday, let us all reflect on the many blessings we have in our lives, including the magical marshmallow carbohydrate bombs: Peeps. This Lent, download CruciPeep from the App Store and join Peeps devotees from all across the globe in our special 2025 Bald & Beautiful CruciPeep Challenge! For the week leading up to Easter, make Peeps a part of every single meal while you pray to the nutritional gods of Red Dye #3, Carnauba Wax, and Potassium Sorbate. From Peepgels (Bagels with melted Peeps in place of cream cheese), to Peepuna Melts (Tuna Melts with melted Peeps in place of mayonnaise), to Peepzas (Pizzas topped with Cinnamon Churro-flavored Peeps), there's something for everyone this Lent! Join celebrities like Trixie Mattel, Katya Zamo, Gwen Stefani, and Starship Troopers' Casper Van Dien in prostrating yourself before the golden Peeps gods, lest we feel their sugary wrath!

Turn your everyday purchases and on-time payments into steps toward your financial goals with Chime’s Secured Credit Builder Visa® Credit Card. Get started today at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Get better sleep, hair and skin with Blissy and use code BALDPOD to get an additional 30% off at https://Blissy.com/BALDPOD

Need a website or domain? Check Out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, head to: https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

Interested in GLP-1s? Go to https://Ro.Co/BALD for your free insurance check. You can see if your insurance covers GLP-1s—for free.

For a limited time get 40% off your first Hungryroot box PLUS get a free item in every box for life! Go to https://Hungryroot.com/BALD and use code BALD

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In a world where Amish tradition meets secular temptation, six Amish youths will be tested like never before. Watch as these impressionable young adults from Lancaster County are thrown into the outside world where their innocence doesn't stand a chance. From the barn to the bar, this ain't your Uncle Jedediah's Rumspringa. This Summer, Tee-El-Cee Network presents a journey from farm to filth. Stop churning that butter and throw away that bonnet: it's Extreme Rumspringa! Sundays at 9, only on Tee-El-Cee.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp! Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

Support a balanced gut microbiome and get your gut going with Ritual’s Synbiotic+! Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD

If you’re 21+, try VIIA during their annual SPRING 420 SALE for Black Friday-level savings up to 35% OFF site wide! Go to: https://VIIA.co/BALD and use code BALD today!

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your spouse sick of your night terrors involving narrow driveways and parallel parking? Does the thought of merging onto a freeway during rush hour make your perineum perspire? We here at The Bald Driving School are here to help. With dozens of days of driving experience, our two instructors will guide you through blinkers, beeps, blind spots, and barefoot driving techniques. The Bald Driving School: if you "Can't" drive, we'll teach you so you "Chaka Khan"!

Give your cat the food they deserve! For a limited time only, you can get 35% off Smalls plus an additional 50% off your first order by using our code BALD at https://Smalls.com

Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!

Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order* by going to:

https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/BALD10 This episode is sponsored by

SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount

Support a balanced gut microbiome and get your gut going with Ritual’s Synbiotic+! Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dearest Trixie and Katya fans: it has come to our attention that ye, the huddled malodorous masses of the proletariat who worship at the altar of our eternal magnificence, have come to the falsely-held belief that encountering us in a public space grants you the privilege of speaking to us, thereby forcing us to acknowledge your meager existence. In many cases, the most squalid amongst you have risen to unbelievable heights of insolence and requested that we engage in the appallingly putrid act of taking a photograph with you. It is this transgressive act that has forced us to make the following public declaration: moving forward, we shall no longer tolerate such disgusting displays of impertinence, for we have ascended to a plane of existence that your feeble minds cannot even begin to comprehend. We have spoken. Let it be done. (PS - we actually really love you, and Katya specifically wants to thank you for tuning in so the ad revenue will grant her the ability to live her life sans black mold)

To support Trixie's friend's fund that is designated for the support and development of male early childhood educators, head to: https://www.nextdoormke.org/belikemike/

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code BALDANDBEAUTIFUL at https://Lumepodcast.com/BALDANDBEAUTIFUL #lumepod

This Spring, fast-track your way to eating well with Marley Spoon! Head to https://MarleySpoon.com/OFFER/BALD and use code BALD for up to 27 FREE meals!

Make progress towards a better financial future with Chime! Open your account in 2 minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.

Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/BALD10

Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount

Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices