DN117 with Akshay Nanavati- Embrace Fear, Pursue a Worthy Struggle

Our amazing podcast guest today is a master at facing fear. Does that mean he does not feel fear anymore? Not necessarily! He feels fear but he has such a good relationship with fear and struggle that he seeks it and uses it to reach the next step. Instead of pursuing ‘happiness’, he says: pursue a worthy struggle. What do we mean by that? That’s exactly what we’ll be uncovering today.

Akshay is born in India and has moved to Singapore then to USA at 13 years old. When he reached USA, that’s when he fell into a dark pit. He did drugs, alcohol, had tried to cut and burn himself. Then he joined the marines. However, doctors found he has some blood disorder that may kill him if he continued. He also had other genetic flaws- scoliosis, flat feet, that may make his marine life more difficult, but he did not waiver. He learned to suffer, engage fear and to keep fighting forwards. He learned to thrive in the face of adversity.

However, his life in the war zones he served isn’t the hardest battle he got to fight. It was after coming home, the ‘normal life’ he’ll now live. He was diagnosed with post traumatic stress and ‘survivor’s guilt’. He was drinking heavily everyday until he passes out. That’s when he knew something’s got to change. He started his journey of sobering up, where he discovered the process of loving fear and struggle. He is now spreading this message to the world to help people embrace fear and use it as a source of preparation.

Listen to this episode in full and be prepared to be pumped up!

Here’s What You Missed

• How to help people struggling with depression and alcoholism

Knowledge Nuggets

Akshay Nanavati wrote a book named Fearvana which is impacting a lot of lives today. He remembered the fear the felt at the time he was trying to finish the book. The thing that pushed him to finish it? It was imagining himself dying, and never had the chance to share his message. That’s why he always says today: “Fear propels you to prepare.”

[8:33] When we're struggling with depression, with alcoholism, you know, it's hard to know your why at that moment when you're in the pit. When you're deep in the pit, you don't want to hear about how awesome life is for all these other people, its not inspirational. You just had to climb out.

[10:26] So for a long time, I actually had a picture of my friend that I lost in the war up on my wall. And it said “this should have been you, earn this life.” But the reality is that guilt is a normal expression of love. So instead I learned to reframe my guilt. He learned to make his demons work for him instead of trying to run away from them.

[11:05] Fall in love with our demons to fall in love with suffering, to fall in love with pain, to fall in love with fear, because they're not bad. These things are part of life. What you do with it that matters.

[13:57] First, disassociate yourself from the pit. Don't label yourself with what you’re going through. Then have a why. You have to have something to move forward to, something to aim for. You'll build patterns over time.

[15:18] I am not my brain. I'm saying to my brain, "look, I am not you. I don't care what you do." That's disassociating. You have to master that skill. Otherwise it feels real. we are not our thoughts. We are not our feelings. We are not our experiences. We are the thinker of our thoughts, the feeler of our feelings and the experiencer of our experiences.

[17:55] That's what finally led, to finish my book, it was imagining myself dying, never having shared my message. That's scarier that writing my book. The fear of the thing you are pursuing and the fear of inaction have their place. Fear propels you to prepare. If you engage a fear, you can use it as a source of preparation.

[21:48] You can cultivate discipline. Start small and you want to start creating  creating rules in your life to follow so that when you follow these rules, you don't have to exercise cognitive or physical energy.  Every area of my life, as much as possible, I create systems, I create structures, I create rules. Then I just follow it. That way I'm saving my energy for the battle.

[23:28] All growth is ultimately two things: 1.Find the problem, fix the problem. 2. Find what's working and do more of it. Progress is not the elimination of problems. Progress is the creation of new problems.

[29:53] I'm a big into partnering with people. Cause I mean, success is a team sport. Nobody does it alone. So always be looking for who can, how can I partner with somebody who's way smarter than me at what they do.

[32:24] "Be so good. They can not ignore you." (Steve Martin)  It doesn't have to be like the most famous whoever in your field, reach out to somebody who is one step ahead of you. The hard part is the taking the action. You got to go out there and prove that you are worthy of that mentorship.

[36:21] We generally live in a very under acknowledged world. So just thanks somebody. Just saying thank you makes a difference.

[37:48] Momentum creates mastery. Fall in love with the battle, fall in love with the process, not just the result.

[39:00] Refraiming your mindset by saying "I am just untrained". Then you'll just need to train. One fundamental thing: Develop a positive relationship to the experience of struggle, to develop a positive relationship to suffering. Got some negative thoughts? Step forward anyway, and don't let that voice to find you.

[45:33] Having a dream gives your life meaning. It gives purpose to this existence on our planet. If you pursue your dream, if you pursue a meaning, pursue a worthy struggle, and suffering is no longer an impediment, it's no longer a barrier to the thing that you're attaining. It's a part of the journey.

Akshay Nanavati Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AkshayNanavatiFan/

Akshay Nanavati BOOK: FEARVANA: The Revolutionary Science of How to Turn Fear into Health, Wealth and Happiness

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