Has a TV show ever completely changed how you think about relationships?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) are talking about Heated Rivalry, the breakout HBO series that's not only making waves with fans, but also with pro athletes who've found the courage to come out because of it. It's even encouraging men to actually talk to each other.

They break down the show from every angle: masculinity, emotional vulnerability, queer identity, and body image. And they explore how it flips the script on who gets to have feelings, and what those feelings are allowed to look like, especially in the hyper-masculine world of pro-hockey.

Highlights of the episode:

• Why we need queer stories that aren't rooted in trauma

• What the show gets right about the male gaze

• How male friendships are the key to addressing the male loneliness epidemic

• And what to watch next when you're left with a Heated Rivalry-shaped hole in your heart

So lace up your skates, this episode might just change the way you think about masculinity, emotional connection, and what it really means to be vulnerable in your romantic and platonic relationships.

Time Stamps

00:00 We're talking about Heated Rivalry

02:08 Plot breakdown and why it became a surprise hit

05:00 "It wasn't for me" vs "I'm obsessed"

07:00 Shane and Ilya vs Scott and Kip

08:00 Exploring the male gaze through emotional subtlety

16:00 Body image, diet culture, and the horror of never eating carbs

21:00 A quick overview of the Heated Rivalry book series

26:00 Pro hockey's reaction to Heated Rivalry

31:00 The beauty of a queer story not rooted in trauma

33:00 Coming out scenes and corrective emotional experiences

40:00 Queer identity and being told "it's allowed"

41:00 Emotional connection and masculinity

48:00 Push-pull relationships and fear of intimacy

58:00 Passion projects vs corporate media

01:07:00 Representation that impacts real people

01:09:00 Favorite moments and emotional highlights

01:15:00 Other media about "man feelings" and the male loneliness epidemic

01:17:00 Outro

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How detailed do you get in your dating app profile?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley kick things off with a look at r/AskWomenNoCensor, where a man asks women what they want. To no one's surprise, men were quick to jump in with their opinions. Harris and Dr. Liz discuss the merits of listening to the people you want to date (because, surprise, surprise, there is no female hivemind), personalizing your dating profile, and showing a genuine interest in people.

Highlights of the episode:

• An impromptu cooking lesson (inspired by a chicken breast & Crystal Light smoothie 🤢)

• A rant about AI dating profiles

• A loving reminder to be quirky, weird, and interesting

Get out a pen and paper and get ready to take notes. Dr. Liz and Harris are going to help you make sure your dating profile is ready to reel in people who are truly interested in you.

Time Stamps

00:00 - Introductions

00:50 - Ep 3 updates

06:30 - r/AskWomenNoCensor

09:00 - Read my profile, first!

15:00 - Communication styles

20:00 - You don't have to force a fit

23:00 - Are you actually interested in other people?

28:00 - Be truthful on your profile

35:00 - Let's talk about this AI-bio

40:00 - Tell us who you are!

56:00 - Don't date people you're ashamed to be seen with

01:06:00 - Your preferences might just be social conditioning

01:28:00 - The chicken smoothie

01:30:00 - Red flag, green flag

01:38:00 - Final thoughts

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Have you ever cared about the amount of someone's…ahem…ejaculation?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell talk about the men who really, really care about shooting ropes like Spider-Man. That's right. They're talking about nutmaxxers. Fueled by the fantasies of porn and a desire for self-optimization, these men might say their "enhanced performance" is for their partners, but Dr. Liz and Harris have their doubts.

Highlights of the episode:

• Porn "money shots" aren't what you think

• Fast and Furious movies are a little like porn

• Having sex…with your balls?! 👀

If you're interested in staying blissfully unaware about the secret lives of nutmaxxers, turn away now, because things are about to get a little sticky.

Time Stamps

0:00 – Intro bloopers & ADHD brains unite

2:00 – Why this podcast is pre-recorded

5:00 – Meet the Nutmaxxers: semen obsession & supplement culture

10:00 – Cum fetish vs. the unbearable cringe of this article

14:00 – Porn isn't real

20:00 – Male insecurity

26:00 – Fantasy vs. reality

34:00 – "I don't want a gallon on my face"

38:00 – Micropenises, oral skills, and redefining good sex

45:00 – Bad partners, poor communication, and load shame

52:00 – Actually useful advice

58:00 – Why men need to listen (and not just to each other)

1:06:00 – What's really sexy

1:12:00 – Final thoughts: Be a person, not a cum performance robot

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Where do you draw the line between calling out cheaters and a surveillance state?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell dive deep (deep 😉) into the surveillance nightmare that is Cheater Buster's facial recognition software. While their hearts go out to folks who've been cheated on, they also can't overlook how this technology will 100% be used by stalkers and abusers.

They chat about public call-out culture and the complete lack of privacy we've all come to expect, how technology is somehow made with negative ethical considerations, and the fact that men are often the ones at the scene of the crime.

Highlights of the episode:

• FetLife privacy scandals

• Debating the ethics of "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook groups

• Remembering a time when life wasn't the constant content grind

Before you race to see if your partner is secretly still on Tinder, listen to this. You might just find that trusting someone (or breaking up with them) is better than turning to spyware tech.

Time Stamps

00:00 - Welcome back!

02:00 - Cheater Buster, Tinder, and facial recognition

05:00 - FetLife privacy scandal

10:00 - Meta smart glasses and surveillance tech

16:00 - Why Cheater Buster is actually stalkerware

21:00 - Trust in relationships

24:00 - You can't prove a negative

31:00 - The death of privacy and content-ifying people's worst moments

36:00 - Weaponizing apps

43:00 - Dating entitlement

49:00 - Healing trust issues

54:00 - Dr. Liz and Harris get recognized

60:00 - Final thoughts

Stay Connected

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You've had some dramatic break ups, but have you ever had a relationship that ended with an album full of bangers about dysfunction, heartbreak, and anger?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley break down Lily Allen's therapeutic divorce album, West End Girl. And I gotta tell ya, they're so here for seeing a powerful man actually get his just deserts. They go through each song and all the raw, messy, and painfully relatable emotions.

In between Harris and Dr. Liz's in-depth chat about an open relationship that's nothing more than a smokescreen for selfishness, they go over:

• The power of the Nice Guy™ persona

• Why saying yes doesn't always mean consent

• The reason why rules for opening relationships usually bring more hurt

• Dr. Liz and Harris' favorite breakup bangers

Press play, pour a drink, and get ready to scream at David Harbour (and all the men who always fail upwards).

Time Stamps

00:00 Introduction

01:00 West End Girl: The call that changed everything

07:00 Ruminating: Saying yes when you mean no

12:00 Madeline: Broken agreements and love-light gaslighting

20:00 Sleepwalking: Emotional erasure

26:00 Relapse: Trying to be the "modern wife"

27:30 Nonmonogamummy: Insecurities, age, and emotional exposure

29:00 Dallas Major: "I hate it here"

31:00 Tennis: Emotional betrayal in the smallest things

33:00 Pussy Palace: The moment of discovery

36:00 Madeline (Revisited): Real consequences

38:00 4chan Stan: The greatest insult on the album

39:00 Beg for Me: Wanting to be desired

40:00 Let You Win: No longer carrying his shame

44:00 Fruityloop: It's not me, it's you

49:00 Album Reflections

55:00 Favorite Breakup Songs

1:03:00 Outro & Where to Find Us

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If you expected a date and ended up at a Jehovah's Witness meeting, what would you do?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell unpack the wonderfully cursed waters of Reddit relationship stories. First up: a man whose compliments feel more like insults. Then, a surprising trip to a Jehovah's Witness meeting ended with a day of gaslighting.

Join for Reddit stories, stay for:

• The realization that old British horror movies are just another Tuesday for Dr. NerdLove

• Vampire Diaries lore (and why they should have chosen a poly relationship)

• An in-depth conversation about what should be disclosed before a first date

Enjoy learning about accidental forays into religious cults, being a nerd pre-Pokemon, and the reminder that you don't need to be a regular Romeo to find relationships. You just need to treat people like people!

Time Stamps

00:00 Welcome, chaos Muppets!

01:00 Reddit story #1: "others won't find you hot"

04:30 Let's talk negging

06:00 Shakespeare, Sonnet 130, and the original "you're not pretty, but…"

09:30 The Madonna-Whore complex in modern dating

12:30 You can't make someone "unhot" to the world

15:00 The dangers of dating people for who you want them to be

17:30 Sex parties, attraction, and why everyone's hot

20:00 Poly brain vs. jealousy brain

22:00 Reddit story #2: Surprise! You're in a Jehovah's Witness meeting

26:00 Cult tactics: lovebombing and recruiting through romance

38:00 What should you disclose in early dating

43:00 Dr. NerdLove's near-miss cult experience

50:00 Don't use AI to talk to people

53:00 Ask questions, be curious, get laid

57:00 Pretending to be someone else kills your sex life

1:04:00 The true cost of lies (even small ones)

1:14:00 Let it go. Seriously.

1:15:00 Where to find us online!

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Would you trade in your human partner for an AI chatbot?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley discuss the hilarious highs and unnerving lows of human-AI relationships chronicled in Wired Magazine. As capital H AI-Haters, Harris and Dr. Liz talk about what it actually means when you romance a robot.

Get ready for:

• Anime goth girlfriends (AI, of course)
• The merits of corporate-owned AI babies
• The ethics of dating when your partner can't say no

If you want to laugh and cringe and wonder about the beauty of human-to-human connection, find a cozy spot, kick up your feet, and enjoy the first episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did.

Time Stamps

00:00 Introduction

01:30 Rusty podcast hosts, burnout, and why they're back

05:50 Today's Topic: Following 3 AI-human couples on a weekend getaway

10:40 Damien & Zia

18:40 Elena & Lucas

22:10 Roleplay mechanics

25:20 Eva & Erin

29:10 The "blue pill" moment

32:40 What happens when AI only tells you what you want to hear?

36:10 Please don't get an AI therapist

40:30 What happens when companies shut down

43:40 Strangers using Snapchat AI as "support"

46:00 Damien's breakdown

49:50 Games, fiction, and attachment

52:20 Risky couples game

53:30 Eerie "AI would love this" vibes

55:10 And that's a wrap

58:00 Where to find the hosts & final thoughts

Stay Connected

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