Growth Marriage

Do what you hate


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I hate working out…

My lungs burn. Sometimes I feel like puking. And the next day I'm sore.

...But I love the results of a strong body.

I hate cleaning the kitchen…

Getting the gunk off the dishes. Wiping down the countertops and sweeping the floors. Loading and emptying the dishwasher.

Nothing about any of that is fun for me.

… But I love the resulting feeling I get when my house is clean.

I hate going to the dentist…

The anxiety of whether or not I'll have a cavity. Getting poked and prodded. Shots. Drilling. Pain, slobber, trying to talk with my mouth open.

... But I love the results of having a clean, healthy mouth.

I hate having hard conversations…

They are stressful. Lots of big emotions.

I'm not always great with my words. Sometimes I hurt the people I love.

… But I love the result of having a strong relationship.

The things that cause you pain and discomfort are sometimes really good for you.

And, conversely, the things that make you feel good in the moment are often damaging over the long term.

Chocolate chip cookies.

Scrolling for hours on social media.

Sleeping in all the time.

Avoiding the hard conversations.

Not managing your budget.

Saying, "Yes." to everything.

It's important to remember that in your marriage…

Just because something makes you feel bad doesn't mean it IS bad.

And just because something makes you feel good doesn't mean it IS good.

You can't have the life you want without truly understanding this lesson.

Now, the important question:

What painful thing that is GOOD for you are you running from?

What easy or pleasurable thing are you holding on to that's holding you back?

And… what are you going to do about it?

...more
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Growth MarriageBy Nate Bagley

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