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Good Leaders don't do all the talking

Recently I had a discussion with a group of leaders regarding attributes I observed from great leaders in my professional experience. So, I thought I would share some of those with you this week.

When I think of great leaders in my life, I think of people of integrity. Integrity demonstrated through truthfulness, through deliberation in their speech, and their treatment of people.  Integrity that not only honors truth, but that provides safe spaces for truth and confidentiality.

Integrity is an important value in both personal and professional relationships.  When you can trust that someone will give you the truth and treat you with dignity and respect in the context of work or life situations, you can focus on making good decisions and taking appropriate actions. 

Relationships that have a basis of integrity, are relationships that can best handle the truth.  Working from a context of truth allows us to move forward.  Conversely, when people in our lives fall short of being persons that can be trusted to be people of integrity and truth, it weakens that basis on which a relationship can be built and requires that energy be exerted to examine communication and interactions.

Ask yourself if people can accurately describe you as a person of integrity

Today we wrap up our series on Volleyball on Life.  Today we talk about being an encourager.  Being an encourager provides positive impact and helps develop relationships.

When part of a team we need to be All In.  Putting our energies and attention all into something, helps ensure growth and positive momentum.

Be An Encourager, Be Al In.

If life and in the game of volleyball, we must stay ready and keep our head in the game at all times.  If we stay ready, we can manage the unexpected.  We can shift direction or strategy if needed.  In games nor in life, are we ever to be spectators of our lives.  We must actively participate in the management of our lives.

In volleyball and in life, we must know the boundaries and use them to our advantage.  

In life, we have a choice to follow the strategy we set for our life or to be responsive to what others want us to do to help them execute their strategy.  We must have and maintain a strong sense of direction, and work our strategy.  Over time sound strategy will be successfully.

In life there will be times when it is our time to serve, to use our talents or in some cases to know our limitations and allow others to use their strengths.  We must be ready when our turn to "serve" comes around.

We must also take time to celebrate our successes and our efforts.  Doing this builds stronger team bonds and the sense of team is important for team success.

First a reminder that September is Suicide Prevention Month, Call "988" for the Suicide and Crisis Helpline. "You are stronger than your toughest day."  Seeking help is a great first step to better days, contact a helpline, call "911" for emergency assistance, speak to your doctor for care or referrals, Check with your Employer benefits or Employee Assistance Program for referral options, contact your school guidance counselor grade school through college, speak to a pastor/chaplain/clergy person, contact a friend or family member. Contact BetterHelp.com  Everyone if worthy of help.

This week we look at the game of volleyball for inspirational life lessons and great perspective on living.

Today we focus on Playing Every Point.  Life and Games are not successful because of one action, but an accumulation of actions.  That is why it is important to play every point.  Build momentum, experience great turn arounds.

Also in life, as in the game of volleyball, it is important that we talk and communicate.  When we communicate and share information, it allows everyone to do their best with the information available.

Sometimes we make things hard on ourselves by not wanting to accept the help.  We want to prove to ourselves that we can do it or have what it takes. In some cases there may be some undesirable strings attached to help, which we definitely should consider before making a decision.  However, in instances where the help will allow you to move toward your goal with greater speed and momentum and where there are no negative strings - we must ask ourselves if our way of thought is serving us?  Is it pride that holds us back?  Is it a feeling of unworthiness?  Why are we unwilling to accept the gift that sits in front of us?  Are we gaining something from remaining in the struggle, that has now presented a faster route or a key to get out?  Why do we want to remain in the School of Hard Knocks, what is the truth about how it is meeting needs that may be misaligned with our potential and ideal future?

Perhaps it is not us, but those around us. We desire to help, but the help is refused.  What then?

One thing is certain, that people must be in a position to receive help and they must desire it, for it to stick.  So next time you are in a position to receive help, ask yourself not if you should, but why you should not.  And if there is a should not is that based upon fear or truth.  Then make your decision.

If you have the opportunity to accept good help, accept it with gratitude and pay it forward.  If you have the opportunity to render good help give it with gratitude and respect those willing to receive it.  Both the recipient and the giver are better for good help that is utilized, and not overlooked or wasted. 

Sometimes people like to appear that they have everything in order and are living carefree.  This is rarely reality if ever for most people.  In my professional and personal life, it has been my experience that often times work can provide a respite or normalized space to an otherwise chaotic or unordered existence.  This can also be true of schools for children - which is one reason why it is so devastating when what is meant to be a safe space is compromised.  It has also been my experience that if you speak to someone long enough or gain their confidence, you'll likely discover they have something going on, that occupies their thoughts or emotions.  In other public settings, sometimes you will find strangers all too eager to share their experience with others to either normalize it or get new perspective. True confession, I am one of those people that many times puts on sunglasses and earphones on the plane to avoid checking in with strangers!

Nonetheless, I believe it's important to check-in with people and also be observant.  It's also important to be genuine in your caring.  If you are unable to feel compassion, try to figure out why.  Perhaps, there is something going on with us that we are trying to avoid or ignore.  The fact of the matter is, that when we are able to share with one another, even just the sharing and the knowledge that another person knows, can help ease some of the difficulty of bearing the tough stuff of life alone.  Be sure to check in with others to see "What's Going On?"

When we care about those we teach and we teach with a perspective of wanting them to succeed, it makes a positive difference.

Ask How will this benefit this student?

How can I share in a way that it will be heard, received, and stick?

Every day is not a good day for everyone.

Not everyone is in the right space for learning.

Exercise compassion, it provides an invitation for relationship and follow-up.