Documenteers: The Documentary Podcast

Ok, so this next Angela short doc selection isn’t as sad as last week, but let’s be honest…there is a real undercurrent of loneliness that drives this whole scenario. His name? “Mr. Christmas”. He goes all out on the Christmas lights. Spends three months setting them up, three months taking them down and his house will definitely catch on fire one day. His cat Trixie has mad tricks though, and let’s face it…Mr. Christmas is a player in these streets. Vintage pussy hound. His neighbor? A kite flying cuck, probably. “Mr. Christmas” by Nick Palmer and produced by National Geographic for some reason. I gotta get one of those postcards.

https://documenteerspodcast.com

Mr. Christmas: https://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/short-film-showcase/00000160-5733-debf-ad74-f77bf7640000

Oh shit, he died: https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/184179361/bruce-w_-mertz

Damn, dude was doing this into his 80s: https://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2014/12/22/lights-display-by-concord-man-known-as-mr-christmas-going-dark-after-36-years/

Ho-Ho-Holiday fetishes: https://www.thekindland.com/5-strange-christmas-fetishes-617

Shalom, Doccalo! Hanukkah starts later this week and we celebrate with an educational documentary and a brand new Documenteer to provide some perspective on the Jewish festival of lights. Sharon joins Bob to discuss the David Anton produced and directed special that dropped on PBS last year called “Hanukkah - A Festival of deLights”. This one is a little challenging to find, perhaps PBS will roll this out again closer to Hanukkah. Sharon and Bob break down this explanation of the classic Jewish holiday and we were surprised at what we learned about it. Who would have thought that Cincinnati would have so much to do with the modern context of Hanukkah celebration? An easy, breezy, relatively un-explicit episode to cleanse our palate before the holiday rush. Roll up eight crazy hog’s legs and relax beneath the menorah lights. Lather your body in sour cream. Keep on Doccin’

https://documenteerspodcast.com

The trailer: https://youtu.be/k0lvXnayl2A

Man…she’s hot. Especially when she starts soloing: https://youtu.be/J9d2fN1fPSw

A Hanukkah classic: https://youtu.be/KX5Z-HpHH9g

This will stick in your brain: https://youtu.be/Hy8kmNEo1i8

Here’s a Hanukkah bush for you: https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/hanukkah-harry/n9852

Last week, Angela had a shitty attitude and insisted on picking so-called “actual short documentaries” for the rest of the year’s “Shorties”. What does she hit us with? A little piece of joy from Scotland that will make you want to slit your wrists. Vertically, not horizontally. Angela picked “Christmas With Dad” by Conor McCormack because I guess December isn’t depressing enough? Admittedly refreshing in it’s representation of Christmas-time poverty without that bullshit “Hallmark” filter. This stepdad has three kids with this lady. The other five are not his. The oldest is only 8 years younger. The other 4 that aren’t his hopes he doesn’t leave. An endless spiral in any accent or language. Thanks, Angela.

https://documenteerspodcast.com

Christmas with Dad: https://www.scottishdocinstitute.com/films/christmas-with-dad/

Some help for wannabe documentary filmmakers in Great Britain: https://www.scottishdocinstitute.com/opportunities/bridging-the-gap/

Just learned about this: https://youtu.be/vudZePDq8Bw

Hail you, Doccalo! Tis the season….for SATAN! Three weeks out from Christmas, what more perfect topic to cover than the goings on of the modern Satanic Temple. Wherever religion inserts itself onto state and federal ground, they will be there with a wicked statue of the horned god Baphomet. Also there’s nudity, and wine choking, and lots a lots of circular sunglasses. Ginger and Bob discuss the Penny Lane directed documentary “Hail Satan?” And you can find it on Hulu. Seriously though, can we talk about the rampant usage of circular sunglasses amongst the goth crowd? The only worse kind of sunglasses are probably those wraparound shades that you see rednecks wear. Seriously, they seem like good folks doing good things but their sunglasses game is REVERSE FLEEK. Bob can’t wear circular sunglasses. It looks like you put shades on a potato. Anyway….Satan. The adversary. The political movement. The penises. The outrage. Merry Gingmas. Keep on Doccin’

https://documenteerspodcast.com

Trailer: https://youtu.be/27RtJp-rhHk

Their website: https://thesatanictemple.com

“Victory for our Lord and Lady” :https://sspx.org/en/news-events/news/rosary-rally-boston-against-black-mass-4084

Daddy?: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satan

We forgot to cite it in our intro, but we fade out on this song: https://youtu.be/78JocyJ7KfI

To open up our December “Shorties” Bob and Angela discuss a recent viral sensation that surely burrowed into your heart and is now living off of your blood flow like a parasite. A parasite you will probably name and cherish. A parasite called “Kidz Bop Karen”. Karen has a special brand loyalty when it comes to child-friendly music choices. Loyalty so intense that road-rage can’t even stop her will to promote. They can’t hear you, bitch ass hoe. This episode is sponsored by Kidz Bop. Also…Angela’s attitude in this episode sucks dick.

https://documenteerspodcast.com

The legend: https://youtu.be/HBspygDA8Vo

The original: https://youtu.be/DtdL2k4-DC8

Go here so that your kids can’t hear you calling her bitch: https://kidzbop.com/music/kidz-bop-40/

Forget that dick sucking attitude, listen to Kidz Bop: https://youtu.be/oBqqYC71Oes

https://www.paleycenter.org/2019-doc-pitch

https://documenteerspodcast.com/

Rate and Review Us Nicely Here Thank You

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/documenteers-the-documentary-podcast/id1321652249

Hello, you. The Doccalo. A title bestowed upon anyone who happens to listen to this podcast. Even if you listen to two minutes of it and decide you hate it, you’re still a Doccalo. Forever. Eldridge and Bob unite to discuss a strange documentary about a comedian/magician that came out earlier this year. Layers of paranoia in this one as the director, Ben Berman, starts to feel like he’s being jerked around (and not in a good way) by the terminally ill comedian in the Hulu original documentary called “The Amazing Jonathan Documentary”. Layers of deceit or just paranoia? Maybe both? Fuck we don’t know. If you smoke meth while you watch this documentary, email us and let us know. Make meth cool again and Keep on Doccin’

https://documenteerspodcast.com

Here’s the trailer: https://youtu.be/tZ1tzajt2t4

Jonathan at Just for Laughs: https://youtu.be/u6P1QRqFeww

Cool title for a comedy show, bro: https://youtu.be/ITjsaqK4KAY

Oh, shit! Is that OG fuck boi Harry Anderson?: https://youtu.be/eoygH4h45jM

An education equivalent to what you would learn in these streets: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methamphetamine

We hope your Thanksgiving went smoothly and undramatically. Let us ruin everything with one of the saddest things we have ever watched. For this special “Black Friday” edition of Shorties we bring back Jonni to revisit the realms of creepy like we did last month and lay this on your face to show you that any holiday can be a creepshow. If you haven't seen or heard the “We Are Walmart” chant video, then please allow us to wither a portion of your spirit away. Jonni and Bob get saucy as fuck in this Shorties episode.

Personally, I (Herman, the guy who writes the episode descriptions) don't care for all this socialist claptrap. I think Jeff Besos would be the best president. I love Amazon Prime. These hypocrites watch documentaries on Prime all the time. You should see Bob in the basement watching “Man in the High Castle” all alone. Crying. He thinks he’s being sneaky with his masturbation time down there, but we know. Everybody knows.

www.documenteerspodcast.com

Erotica for Billionaires: https://youtu.be/JOkQJm_UGM4

Erotica for Bob: https://youtu.be/IVnscHsPfR4

Erotica for Irony Addicts: https://youtu.be/S-sJp1FfG7Q

Happy Thanksgiving, Doccalo! Bob and Jonni hit up the Thanksgiving week documentary this year. Thanksgiving is a holiday they both enjoy and the happiest Bob is until the new year. It’s not a pure Thanksgiving documentary, but it is featured nicely within. An all American documentary about a once gutted factory in Dayton, Ohio that is being filled by a Chinese company called “Fuyao”. It’s giving some hope to the citizens of this economically troubled town. Hope that is dashed very quickly into the reality of mundane wage mediocrity. Turns out North American Labor activism and Chinese “Communism” is not quite the same thing. No matter what corporate news media tells you. Bob and Jonni watched Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert’s Netflix documentary “American Factory”. The Thanksgiving that is featured in this documentary features motorcycles and guns being held giddily by Chinese laborers. A normal Thanksgiving from the context of Bob’s childhood. We hope you have a pleasant Turkey Day. Pass the gravy and Keep on Doccin’

https://documenteerspodcast.com

The Trailer: https://youtu.be/m36QeKOJ2Fc

Guess it’s easier to defend labor rights when you’re not president anymore: https://youtu.be/NRS0YDUf-Yc

Dayton, Ohio Lo-Fi Native Drunks: https://youtu.be/hWG1h8kJBvE

Oh, Shit. Pay up you taskmasters! : https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisettevoytko/2019/09/20/fired-american-factory-workers-successfully-fought-back/#54cc7a0e7f41

We sadly close out the last of the “Weber Cooks” series with Chef Stephen Reed for today’s Shorty. Thanksgiving is next week, so this weekend we’re going to make a food everyone loves…MICROWAVED SPAGHETTI. Felicia and Bob take one last jump into the culinary journey that is Chef Steven Reed and his microwave to discuss, “Weber Cooks Spaghetti”. How does this spaghetti hold up the the old country? I bet you could guess how. Goodbye Chef Steven Reed. I hope the show note links below don’t disappoint us now that we’ve learned to love you. Happy Thanksgiving. Keep on Doccin’

https://documenteerspodcast.com

Weber Cooks Spaghetti: https://youtu.be/7hF41qPkJxs

Carrot & Raisin Salad: https://www.sustainingthepowers.com/carrot-raisin-salad/

Hmm…Interesting: https://www.reddit.com/r/h3h3productions/comments/4xaktv/i_helped_film_weber_cooks_ama/

OH SHIT! NOOOOOO: https://twitter.com/h3h3sub/status/763507165025996800