In this episode Leslie and Julie dive into the complex topic of intent and its role in destructive relationships. They explore the distinction between deeply selfish actions and those stemming from misguided theology, mental or physical illness, or past traumas. The discussion highlights whether intent should influence how we process harm and respond within our marriages, even when unintentional damage occurs.

Key Points:

Intent vs. Impact:

• The importance of recognizing that even unintentional actions can cause significant harm.

Forgiveness and Amends:

• The balance between forgiveness and the necessity for repair and restitution.

Addressing Harm in Marriage:

• The importance of acknowledging and addressing the harm caused, even if unintentional.

When to Stop Bringing Up Past Hurts:

• The necessity of ongoing conversation and understanding the victim's perspective.

Trust and Safety in Relationships:

• The critical role of trust and safety in maintaining a healthy marriage.

Mental Illness and Responsibility:

• The balance between compassion for mental illness and maintaining personal boundaries.

Sacrificial Suffering and Boundaries:

• The distinction between noble sacrifices and enabling harmful behavior.

Recognizing True Change:

• Identifying genuine changes in behavior and heart versus superficial compliance.

Listener Takeaways:

Self-Worth and Dignity:

• Understanding that a partner's indifference or cruelty is a reflection of their character, not your worth.

Living in Reality:

• The power of facing the truth about your relationship for making informed decisions.

Resources:

• Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start