How to Discern a Safe and Godly Man

What does a safe and godly man truly look like? And how can you tell the difference between surface-level change and deep, lasting heart transformation?

In this powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michael and Kristen Cary, founders of Living Truth and creators of Men in the Battle and Women in the Battle. Together, they unpack the hard but healing truth about what real repentance looks like in a man, how to spot red flags—even when he seems "nice"—and why women need to do their own healing work, whether or not their partner is changing.

With raw honesty and biblical wisdom, this conversation offers practical tools to help women discern character, build clarity, and courageously walk toward truth and safety.

Key Takeaways

True Repentance Goes Beyond Behavior Management

Women Must Heal, Too

Believe the Behavior, Not the Words

When “Nice” Isn’t Safe

The Pain Must Be His Teacher—Not Yours

If You're Struggling to Discern the Truth…

If you’re unsure whether your marriage is just difficult, chronically disappointing, or truly destructive, don’t stay stuck in confusion. Leslie has created a free Quick Start Guide to help you gain clarity, take your next right step, and begin walking in truth.

Download your guide here: www.leslievernick.com/guide

To connect with Michael and Kristen Cary and explore their healing programs for men and women:

Dear Friend, God is not asking you to sacrifice your safety, sanity, or soul to save a marriage that is wounding you. He calls us to walk in truth, not denial—to speak up, not shrink back.

Even if he never changes, you can. You are not alone, and you are not powerless. With God’s help, you can move forward in wisdom, clarity, and courage—one brave step at a time.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and while we wish this wasn’t something we needed to talk about, it’s a heartbreaking reality—even among those who profess faith in Christ. In this powerful and eye-opening episode, Leslie speaks directly to women who are suffering in silence, helping them understand the truth about domestic abuse through a biblical lens. If you’ve ever been told to pray harder, submit more, or suffer silently for the sake of your marriage, this episode is a must-listen.

With over 45 years of counseling experience, Leslie shares how abuse shows up in both obvious and subtle ways and offers practical, faith-based guidance for identifying abuse, responding wisely, and reclaiming your safety, dignity, and voice.

Domestic Abuse is Always Sin

You Are Not to Blame

Biblical Headship is Not About Control

God Cares About Your Safety

Speak the Truth and Allow Consequences

Healing Starts With Truth and Safety

For Biblical references, CLICK HERE

Have you ever felt like you’re barely surviving behind the scenes while projecting a picture-perfect life to the outside world? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Coach Diana sits down with Jeannie—a homeschooling mom, writer, and woman of deep faith—who opens up about her journey from silent suffering as a pastor’s wife to finding clarity, healing, and her God-given voice.

Through years of overfunctioning, pretending, and holding on to a crumbling marriage, Jeannie learned the life-changing difference between suffering silently and living in truth. Her story is raw, redemptive, and full of hope for anyone wondering if they’ll ever feel peace again.

Key Takeaways

Overfunctioning Isn’t Strength—Truth Is

Survival Mode Isn’t Sustainable

God's Peace Follows Obedience to Truth

Purpose Can Be Reborn in the Ashes

You Don’t Need to Know the Whole Path—Just Do Today

Jeannie’s journey shows how easy it is to get lost in confusion, questioning your own reality and wondering if things will ever change. She learned that facing the truth, even when painful, was the very doorway to peace and freedom.

👉 Register for the free Conquer Workshop: Is He Changing, or Just Pretending? Click here to save your spot.

Friend, if you feel lost, confused, or weary from carrying the weight of a destructive relationship, take heart. You are not weak—your perseverance proves your strength. But you don’t have to live in survival mode any longer. God sees you. He values your voice. And He is writing a new chapter in your story—one filled with peace, purpose, and unshakable hope. You are never alone when you walk with Him.

Welcome to Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, where we bring truth with love to the tough topics of emotionally destructive relationships.

In today’s special Coaches Takeover episode, Leslie Vernick team coaches Diana Bala and Susan King dive into people-pleasing, insecurity, and the transformative path toward freedom in Christ.

We’re fresh off our 5-Day Insecurity Coaching Challenge—and in this conversation, we’re going even deeper.

In This Episode:

A recap of the 5-Day Insecurity Challenge:

Self-doubt

Key Insight: The Many Masquerades of Insecurity

Diana and Susan unpack the ways insecurity often masquerades as something good—but at a cost:

✅ Kindness

✅ Humility

✅ Responsibility

✅ Peacemaking

✅ Flexibility

Why Do We People-Please?

How Do We Transform?

Change your inner narrative:

“I must earn love” ➜ “I am already worthy.”

Embrace agency, reclaim your God-given identity, and practice compassion for the part of you that learned to survive by pleasing.

A simple, powerful way to interrupt people-pleasing patterns:

1️⃣ Pause & Name the Pattern

2️⃣ Identify the Hidden Belief

3️⃣ Speak the Truth

4️⃣ Make the Trade

Next Steps

If you joined our challenge this week—you didn’t just learn about insecurity. You moved through it. But this is just the beginning.

If you’re ready to live out what you’re learning, join us in our Moving Beyond People-Pleasing Flexible Coaching Experience.

It’s time to move from:

👉 www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse

Final Words

“Thank you for letting us be a voice in your ear and a companion in your heart. You are not alone. You don’t have to keep performing for love that’s already yours.”

We’re closing out our Coaches Takeover for the summer but will return in the fall!

Until next time—be kind to yourself, stay curious, and keep moving forward.

Learn More & Join Coaching: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse

In today’s episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, host LeAnne Parsons, Professional Certified Coach and trauma-informed practitioner on Leslie Vernick’s coaching team, sits down with Vickie a woman whose life was built on saying yes to everyone—until she learned how to say yes to God first.

From taking on adult responsibilities at age six to becoming everyone’s helper as a wife, mom, and ministry leader, our guest was admired for her generosity and "niceness"—but underneath was exhaustion, resentment, and a quiet spiritual disconnect.

Through the Moving Beyond People Pleasing program, she discovered the profound difference between being nice and being kind, between serving others and submitting to God's voice.

She shares how learning to pause, ask God first, and honor the boundaries He helped her set brought incredible freedom—and how the courage to speak up, receive coaching, and be honest with herself changed everything.

This conversation will inspire any woman who has ever felt burned out, invisible, or afraid to say no.

“I thought I was honest. But I was saying yes when my heart was screaming no.”

“I assumed I was serving… so how could God not be in it?”

“If I didn’t have a firm yes, the answer was a hard no.”

“God didn’t ask me to be nice—He asked me to be faithful.”

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

If this story hit home for you, we invite you to join our Moving Beyond People Pleasing summer coaching experience.

👉 [Link to Learn More + Sign Up]

Have you ever felt like you were losing yourself just to keep the peace? That you were constantly saying “yes” when your heart was crying out “no”? If you’ve ever struggled with people pleasing—especially in the wake of betrayal or in the midst of a painful marriage—this episode is for you.

In this powerful Coaches Takeover episode, Coach Diana Balla and Coach Susan King are joined by Mara, a courageous woman who vulnerably shares her journey through profound betrayal, emotional trauma, and ultimately, healing and transformation. Mara opens up about how Leslie Vernick & Co.’s “Moving Beyond People Pleasing” flexible group coaching experience helped her reclaim her voice, clarify her identity, and set boundaries that honor her God-given worth. Get ready to be deeply encouraged and inspired.

Key Takeaways:

🔹 Trauma Opens the Door to Transformation

🔹 “I Didn’t Know It Was Abuse”

🔹 A Safe, Flexible, and Powerful Coaching Experience

🔹 From Silence to Strength: Naming Her Needs and Setting Boundaries

🔹 Healing is Possible, and You Are Worth It

✨ Call to Action: Ready to Break Free from People Pleasing?

👉 Learn more and register today at: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse

💛 Closing Encouragement:

We’re here with you every step of the way. Keep showing up. Keep training. And always remember: you are precious, you are loved, and you can be well.

🎧 Listen now and share this episode with someone who needs encouragement today.

Are you constantly saying “yes” when your heart is screaming “no”?

If you’ve ever felt like your worth hinges on making everyone around you happy, this episode will speak directly to your heart. Coaches Susan and Diana pull back the curtain on one of the most sneaky and exhausting insecurities many of us carry—people pleasing. It might look like kindness on the outside, but underneath it’s often driven by fear, insecurity, and a longing to feel safe and loved.

In this honest, grace-filled conversation, they explore why people pleasing starts, how it hides in our habits, and what it takes to break free. You’ll walk away with powerful mindset shifts, biblical wisdom, and a simple but life-changing tool to begin honoring your voice without guilt.

🎭 People Pleasing Is About Survival, Not Kindness

💔 The Cost of People Pleasing Is Your Voice

🛑 A Pause Is a Powerful First Step

📖 Boundaries Are Biblical, Not Selfish

💡 You Don’t Have to Earn Love—You Already Have It

Join our Insecurity Coaching Challenge, starting June 23rd. In just one week, you’ll uncover the roots of insecurity and gain the tools to reclaim your voice, set godly boundaries, and walk in confidence.

You are not mean for saying no. You’re not broken for needing rest. And you’re not selfish for wanting to live honestly. The journey out of people pleasing isn’t about becoming hardened—it’s about becoming whole. You are already loved, already worthy, and already enough. Let today be your first step toward freedom.

Welcome back to Relationship Truth Unfiltered. In today’s episode, we go beyond the surface and straight into the heart of what it looks like to move from insecurity to identity, from people pleasing to peace. LeAnne sits down with a courageous woman who has walked through divorce, fear, performance pressure—and found her footing again in Christ.

This episode isn’t polished or perfect. It’s powerful, raw, and real.

Through this deeply personal and hope-filled conversation, you’ll hear:

You’ll walk away feeling encouraged, grounded, and ready to take your next step toward freedom.

“Saying yes to others meant I was constantly saying no to myself.” TC

“God has a plan and purpose for my life—and I can’t fulfill it if I’m giving the best of me to everyone else.” TC

“Healing is not only available—it’s already begun.” LeAnne Parsons

Galatians 1:10 (NLT)

Illuminating. Empowering. Liberating.

If this conversation spoke to your heart, we’d love for you to share it with a friend or leave a review. It helps more women find their way to truth, wholeness, and healing.

🧡 You’re not too much. You’re not too late. And you’re never walking alone

In this heart-opening episode, Coach LeAnne Parsons takes us deep into the hidden ways insecurity can shape — and sabotage — our identity in Christ. With wisdom, compassion, and biblical clarity, she gently exposes how fear, shame, and striving disguise themselves as humility or responsibility, keeping women stuck in small stories that God never wrote.

This episode is a powerful primer for LV and Cos Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge Week, and it offers a blend of practical insight, Scripture-rich truth, and spiritual invitation to trade fear for freedom — starting now.

Whether you're confident in your calling or still wrestling with worthiness, this episode will remind you:

“You cannot live out your calling while constantly questioning your worth.”

“Heartwork is the intentional process of inviting God to transform what’s going on beneath the surface — your beliefs, your wounds, your identity, your patterns.”  –LeAnne Parsons

“We cannot walk in victory and believe we are failures.” – Beth Moore

If this episode spoke to you, would you take a moment to leave a review? It helps more women find encouragement and truth in the middle of their own insecurity battles.

Don’t miss next week’s Challenge Kickoff episode!

“People pleasing isn’t love. It’s fear dressed up as kindness.”

Have you ever gone along to get along? Said yes when you really wanted to say no? Diminished your desires, your boundaries, or even your calling—just to avoid conflict or gain approval? If so, you're not alone.

In this heartfelt and eye-opening Coaches Takeover episode, Coaches Diana and Susan unpack one of the most common struggles among women: people pleasing. With honesty, biblical insight, and hard-earned wisdom, they dive into the roots of this behavior, share real stories of personal growth, and offer gentle but practical steps to help you stop abandoning yourself—and start showing up with truth, courage, and strength.

Whether you've been stuck in patterns of self-sacrifice, afraid to speak up, or just feeling exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy, this conversation will meet you with grace and give you tools to walk in freedom.

At its core, people pleasing happens when we silence our own needs, wants, or convictions in favor of someone else’s. Whether out of fear of rejection, a desire to keep the peace, or a longing for approval, this behavior often stems from insecurity and a loss of self. Susan shares how people pleasing is about needing something from others (like validation or acceptance) and sacrificing yourself to get it—often without even realizing it.

One of the most powerful things you can do is pause and pay attention. Diana and Susan remind us that many women have been conditioned (in families, churches, or culture) to believe that “being nice” means suppressing their true selves. But without self-awareness, people pleasing becomes an automatic pattern that robs us of authenticity and connection. Naming it is the first step to breaking free.

Diana vulnerably shares moments in her life where fear of disappointing others led to missed opportunities—including a professional invitation she turned down simply because she didn’t ask for what she needed. Susan reflects on how being trained as a therapist to be a “blank slate” magnified her already strong pattern of disappearing for others. Their stories highlight how people pleasing may seem noble—but often leads to regret and invisibility.

Breaking free from people pleasing means learning to notice your own preferences, to ask for what you need, and to tolerate the discomfort of not pleasing everyone. This isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. As Susan and Diana point out, many women have never developed a strong sense of self, or it’s been erased by years of criticism or control. Rebuilding it is part of healing, and it takes time, support, and practice.

People pleasing often leads to lost opportunities, diminished confidence, and emotional exhaustion. But God created you with purpose and worth—and you don’t have to keep hiding or hustling to prove yourself. With the right tools and support, you can step into truth, draw healthy boundaries, and become the strong, faithful woman God called you to be.