Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

Resilience After Abuse: What It Really Means and How to Rebuild

Key Takeaways

Have you ever felt so broken by your past that the idea of “resilience” feels impossible or even offensive?

If you're feeling numb, overwhelmed, or wondering why you're not "over it yet," this episode will ground you in truth, compassion, and practical steps to begin rebuilding—body, mind, and spirit.

Key Takeaways from Today’s Episode:

Resilience Isn’t Pretending It Didn’t Happen

“You’re not responsible for the trash that was thrown on your porch—but you are responsible for whether or not you leave it there.” – Tabitha Westbrook

Healing Happens One Bag at a Time

“Even if all you do today is open the door and breathe, that’s progress.”

Boundaries Are Part of Resilience

“Resilience includes discernment—who gets to come to the gate, who stays on the sidewalk, and who doesn’t get to be in your yard at all.”

Your Body Is Not the Enemy—It’s a Messenger

“Your shoulders don’t have lips—but they speak through tension, pain, and nausea. Listen to what your body is trying to tell you.”

Triggers Are Opportunities, Not Failures

“When you’re triggered, it’s not time to shame yourself. It’s time to ask: What is this showing me? Where do I still need care and kindness?”

Feeling Stuck? You're Not Alone—And You’re Not Broken.

If you’re in a season where even opening your front door feels impossible, please know this: You don't have to do it alone. Asking for help is a holy, courageous first step. Whether it's a friend, a support group, or a therapist, reaching out can be the beginning of your transformation.

Final Encouragement

Sweet friend, healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel pain again—it means the pain won’t own you. You were made for more than just surviving. With God’s help and your brave yes, you can rebuild your life, reclaim your voice, and rediscover your worth.

You are not too far gone. You are not too broken. And you are not alone.

Learn more about Tabitha and her book: Body and Soul: Healed and Whole

Have you ever wondered if your struggles with anxiety, depression, or trauma mean you're not “spiritual enough”? Maybe you've tried praying harder, reading your Bible more, or pushing yourself to “have more faith,” yet you're still stuck. If so, you're not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong.

In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with one of our incredible coaches, Susan King, to explore the shame many women feel around mental health and emotional struggles. Together, we unpack harmful spiritual myths, why healing is often a journey, and how to take faithful, empowered steps forward—even when life feels overwhelming.

Whether you’re navigating separation, burnout, or simply trying to figure out where to start, this conversation will offer you clarity, comfort, and practical wisdom for your next step. 

Too many women have been told that anxiety or depression means their faith is weak. Susan and I challenge this harmful belief, pointing to biblical figures like David, Elijah, and Paul—deeply faithful people who struggled emotionally. God meets us in our weakness, not with condemnation but with compassion.

Misinterpretations of Scripture—like reading "do not be anxious" as a command rather than comfort—can lead to unnecessary guilt. Healing is a process, and God often uses tools like counseling, medication, and support to bring restoration. You’re not a failure if you need help.

We talk about the tension between accepting your current chapter and still longing for something more. Is it wrong to want change? Absolutely not. God invites us to co-author our story with Him. Discovering your God-given desires and letting go of comparison is part of living authentically and faithfully.

When life feels overwhelming, it’s not just about a to-do list. Sometimes resistance comes from fear—of failure, disapproval, or making a mistake. We share powerful tools like brain dumping and identifying your internal vs. external work so you can get unstuck and take your next step with clarity.

Healing and change don’t require massive leaps. A 2% shift—whether that's taking a breath, letting go of perfectionism, or asking, “Who do I want to be today?”—can redirect your day and your life. Start small, stay curious, and trust that God is with you in every step.

If this conversation resonated with you, we’d love to walk with you further. Empowered to Change is our transformative coaching program designed to help women just like you break free from destructive patterns, build internal strength, and create real, lasting change—with God at the center.

👉 Join Empowered to Change today: https://leslievernick.com/growth

Sister, you are not broken beyond repair. You are not failing because you’re struggling. Healing is not a race—it’s a sacred journey. Whether you’re just beginning or you’re in the messy middle, know this: God sees you. He is with you. And step by step, with truth and grace, you can grow.

You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s keep walking in truth—together.

What does it really take to go from paralyzing fear and emotional confusion to courageous clarity and freedom? In Part 2 of our conversation, Coach LeAnne Parsons continues her heart-stirring dialogue with three women who bravely walked the journey of healing inside Empowered to Change. This week, we go deeper—unpacking the exact tools, mindset shifts, and faith-filled decisions that helped them disentangle their lives and rediscover who they truly are in Christ.

If you've ever felt stuck in shame, unsure if you could trust again, or wondered if real change is even possible—this episode is your answer.

Why They Finally Said Yes to Healing

The Power of Safe, Christ-Centered Community

Tools that Actually Change Lives

Confidence Built on Courage, Not Perfection

Sustainable Change for the Long Haul

If their stories stirred something in your heart, maybe it’s your time too. Empowered to Change is a six-month coaching journey for Christian women who are ready to stop surviving and start growing. Whether you’re in a hard marriage, dealing with past wounds, or trying to reclaim your voice—you don’t have to walk it alone.

👉 Join Empowered to Change and experience a safe, Christ-centered community where healing is possible and growth is sustainable.

Sister, healing takes courage, but you don’t have to be fearless to begin. If you’re tired of the fog, the shame, and the loneliness, let today be your turning point. You are not broken beyond repair. You are not too late. And you are never alone. Let God be the lifter of your head, and let us walk with you into a new chapter of healing and hope.

Come and see—there’s more on the other side of your fear.

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, "I can’t keep living like this… but I don’t know how to change?" You’re not alone, friend. In this powerful episode, you’ll hear from three courageous women—Rhonda, Jill, and Christine—who were once stuck in confusion, fear, and shame. Now, they stand rooted in truth, strengthened by faith, and empowered by the work they’ve done inside the Empowered to Change program.

Coach LeAnne Parsons sits down with these remarkable women, five years after their journey began, to reflect on where they were, how they’ve grown, and what God has done in their lives. If your heart feels heavy today, this episode will offer hope, practical insight, and a glimpse into what’s truly possible when you say “yes” to healing and to yourself.

From Lost and Ashamed to Seen and Supported

Rediscovering Identity After a Lifetime of Dependency

A Journey from Confusion to Clarity, Rooted in Scripture

The Power of Safe Community and Shared Growth

Practical Tools that Build Emotional and Spiritual Resilience

If you resonated with Rhonda, Jill, or Christine’s stories, let this be your nudge. Empowered to Change is a six-month group coaching program for Christian women who are ready to take brave steps toward clarity, healing, and confidence. You’ll be supported every step of the way by a dedicated coach and a compassionate community.

👉 Join Empowered to Change today and discover how to rewrite your story—not as the victim, but as the hero God created you to be.

Sweet sister, you are not too far gone, too broken, or too late. God’s mercies are new every morning, and healing is not only possible—it’s promised when we walk with Him. You are not alone. Your story matters. And with clarity, courage, and Christ, you can live free, whole, and empowered.

Don’t miss Part 2 of this powerful conversation—coming next week, right here on Relationship Truth Unfiltered.

Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to love again after your heart has been shattered? Maybe you've walked through a painful divorce, betrayal, or even the loss of someone dear—and the thought of opening your heart again feels terrifying, or even wrong. In today’s powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michelle Hord, author of The Other Side of Yet, a woman who has endured the unimaginable: the murder of her daughter by her abusive ex-husband.

But this is not just a story of tragedy—it's a story of grace, growth, and God's unexpected redemption.

Michelle returns to share the sacred, surprising journey of rebuilding her life, falling in love again, and finding joy in a new marriage and motherhood after loss. She offers faith-filled wisdom on doing the internal work, discerning true safety, and honoring both grief and growth. If you’re wondering if God can write a new chapter in your story—this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways:

Healing Comes Before Rebuilding

“You have one Savior—and you won’t meet Him at church or a party. Don’t look for someone to rescue you when God is the One writing your rescue story.”

Emotional Safety Is Non-Negotiable

“I realized that God doesn't want me to be with someone I fear. Respect, kindness, and feeling cherished are non-negotiables—not luxuries.”

Guilt Isn’t a Prerequisite for Grief

“God's purpose for me didn't end with my daughter’s death. Joy doesn’t erase grief—it expands around it.”

Redefining Strength and Speaking Up

“We often teach others how to treat us by what we tolerate. Don’t make yourself smaller for someone else’s comfort.”

There Is Life After the Valley

“God’s mercies are new every morning. He can bring light out of your darkest place—and it doesn't mean you’re forgetting what came before.”

Personal Invitation: Ready for a Breakthrough?

If you're resonating with Michelle’s story and wondering how to begin again—or even if you can—then don’t miss Leslie’s upcoming free webinar, Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough.

You’ll gain clarity, courage, and biblical tools to stop spinning in circles and start stepping into healing.

Register now at: leslievernick.com/stuck

Closing Encouragement

Friend, if you're listening today and your heart is aching, please hear this: your story is not over. What you’ve endured does not disqualify you from love, joy, or a meaningful life. Whether your grief is public or private, whether your pain feels “big enough” or not—God sees you. And He is not done.

You may not have chosen the pain in your past—but you can choose your next step. As Michelle says, “There is always a yet.” And God is in the business of turning that “yet” into your next.

Hold on. Healing is possible. With God’s help, you can learn to live, hope, and love again.

Listen to the full first episode with Michelle here: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-f52fe-16f28e1

Learn more about Gabrielle’s Wings or support Michelle’s nonprofit: gabrielleswings.com

Do you dread the holidays—not because you don’t love your people—but because you're already feeling stretched thin, emotionally exhausted, and maybe even a little resentful?

You’re not alone.

This week, Leslie Vernick and Coach Diana unpack what it looks like to stop over-functioning during the holidays by learning how to set boundaries—clearly, kindly, and biblically. From role-playing difficult conversations to exploring the internal guilt and fear many women wrestle with, this episode is packed with faith-filled insight and practical tools to help you protect your peace and prioritize what matters most.

If you’ve ever felt selfish for saying “no” or guilty for disappointing others, this conversation will give you the clarity and courage you need to love well—without losing yourself.

Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re sacred. God set boundaries in creation, and He calls us to do the same. Boundaries reflect His nature of order, peace, and love. When we set boundaries, we’re not being harsh—we’re honoring God’s call to steward our time, energy, and hearts.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." – Proverbs 4:23

When we can’t say no, our yes becomes meaningless. Love that’s forced or rooted in fear isn’t love at all—it’s obligation. God never forces us into relationship with Him. He invites, never invades. In the same way, healthy love must include freedom and choice.

Leslie and Diana walk through real examples—like refusing to host Christmas, saying no to dog-sitting, or sticking to a spending limit. Each scenario highlights how to express a firm and loving no without over-explaining, defending, or absorbing guilt. These scripts show how clarity and compassion can coexist.

Someone else’s sadness, frustration, or manipulation does not mean you’ve done something wrong. Healthy boundaries often expose unhealthy dynamics. When others push back, it reveals their reliance on your compliance—not your care.

"Let them have their feelings. It’s not your job to manage their emotions—it’s your job to steward your obedience to God."

You’ll learn how to:

Are the holidays bringing up anxiety instead of joy? If you’re tired of the pressure to perform, please others, or over-function to keep the peace, Leslie’s resources can help you create emotional and spiritual breathing room.

Register now for Leslie’s free workshop:

Friend, you don’t have to be everything to everyone this holiday season. You don’t need to hustle for love or sacrifice your sanity to make others happy. Boundaries aren’t walls to shut people out—they’re gates that let love in.

You are allowed to protect your peace.

And when you do? You’ll be saying a much bigger yes to God, to emotional wholeness, and to the kind of love that sets both you and others free.

You’ve got this—with God’s help.

How to Discern a Safe and Godly Man

What does a safe and godly man truly look like? And how can you tell the difference between surface-level change and deep, lasting heart transformation?

In this powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michael and Kristen Cary, founders of Living Truth and creators of Men in the Battle and Women in the Battle. Together, they unpack the hard but healing truth about what real repentance looks like in a man, how to spot red flags—even when he seems "nice"—and why women need to do their own healing work, whether or not their partner is changing.

With raw honesty and biblical wisdom, this conversation offers practical tools to help women discern character, build clarity, and courageously walk toward truth and safety.

Key Takeaways

True Repentance Goes Beyond Behavior Management

Women Must Heal, Too

Believe the Behavior, Not the Words

When “Nice” Isn’t Safe

The Pain Must Be His Teacher—Not Yours

If You're Struggling to Discern the Truth…

If you’re unsure whether your marriage is just difficult, chronically disappointing, or truly destructive, don’t stay stuck in confusion. Leslie has created a free Quick Start Guide to help you gain clarity, take your next right step, and begin walking in truth.

Download your guide here: www.leslievernick.com/guide

To connect with Michael and Kristen Cary and explore their healing programs for men and women:

Dear Friend, God is not asking you to sacrifice your safety, sanity, or soul to save a marriage that is wounding you. He calls us to walk in truth, not denial—to speak up, not shrink back.

Even if he never changes, you can. You are not alone, and you are not powerless. With God’s help, you can move forward in wisdom, clarity, and courage—one brave step at a time.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and while we wish this wasn’t something we needed to talk about, it’s a heartbreaking reality—even among those who profess faith in Christ. In this powerful and eye-opening episode, Leslie speaks directly to women who are suffering in silence, helping them understand the truth about domestic abuse through a biblical lens. If you’ve ever been told to pray harder, submit more, or suffer silently for the sake of your marriage, this episode is a must-listen.

With over 45 years of counseling experience, Leslie shares how abuse shows up in both obvious and subtle ways and offers practical, faith-based guidance for identifying abuse, responding wisely, and reclaiming your safety, dignity, and voice.

Domestic Abuse is Always Sin

You Are Not to Blame

Biblical Headship is Not About Control

God Cares About Your Safety

Speak the Truth and Allow Consequences

Healing Starts With Truth and Safety

For Biblical references, CLICK HERE

Have you ever felt like you’re barely surviving behind the scenes while projecting a picture-perfect life to the outside world? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Coach Diana sits down with Jeannie—a homeschooling mom, writer, and woman of deep faith—who opens up about her journey from silent suffering as a pastor’s wife to finding clarity, healing, and her God-given voice.

Through years of overfunctioning, pretending, and holding on to a crumbling marriage, Jeannie learned the life-changing difference between suffering silently and living in truth. Her story is raw, redemptive, and full of hope for anyone wondering if they’ll ever feel peace again.

Key Takeaways

Overfunctioning Isn’t Strength—Truth Is

Survival Mode Isn’t Sustainable

God's Peace Follows Obedience to Truth

Purpose Can Be Reborn in the Ashes

You Don’t Need to Know the Whole Path—Just Do Today

Jeannie’s journey shows how easy it is to get lost in confusion, questioning your own reality and wondering if things will ever change. She learned that facing the truth, even when painful, was the very doorway to peace and freedom.

👉 Register for the free Conquer Workshop: Is He Changing, or Just Pretending? Click here to save your spot.

Friend, if you feel lost, confused, or weary from carrying the weight of a destructive relationship, take heart. You are not weak—your perseverance proves your strength. But you don’t have to live in survival mode any longer. God sees you. He values your voice. And He is writing a new chapter in your story—one filled with peace, purpose, and unshakable hope. You are never alone when you walk with Him.

Welcome to Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, where we bring truth with love to the tough topics of emotionally destructive relationships.

In today’s special Coaches Takeover episode, Leslie Vernick team coaches Diana Bala and Susan King dive into people-pleasing, insecurity, and the transformative path toward freedom in Christ.

We’re fresh off our 5-Day Insecurity Coaching Challenge—and in this conversation, we’re going even deeper.

In This Episode:

A recap of the 5-Day Insecurity Challenge:

Self-doubt

Key Insight: The Many Masquerades of Insecurity

Diana and Susan unpack the ways insecurity often masquerades as something good—but at a cost:

✅ Kindness

✅ Humility

✅ Responsibility

✅ Peacemaking

✅ Flexibility

Why Do We People-Please?

How Do We Transform?

Change your inner narrative:

“I must earn love” ➜ “I am already worthy.”

Embrace agency, reclaim your God-given identity, and practice compassion for the part of you that learned to survive by pleasing.

A simple, powerful way to interrupt people-pleasing patterns:

1️⃣ Pause & Name the Pattern

2️⃣ Identify the Hidden Belief

3️⃣ Speak the Truth

4️⃣ Make the Trade

Next Steps

If you joined our challenge this week—you didn’t just learn about insecurity. You moved through it. But this is just the beginning.

If you’re ready to live out what you’re learning, join us in our Moving Beyond People-Pleasing Flexible Coaching Experience.

It’s time to move from:

👉 www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse

Final Words

“Thank you for letting us be a voice in your ear and a companion in your heart. You are not alone. You don’t have to keep performing for love that’s already yours.”

We’re closing out our Coaches Takeover for the summer but will return in the fall!

Until next time—be kind to yourself, stay curious, and keep moving forward.

Learn More & Join Coaching: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse