Has anyone been rude to you today yet? Well, it’s likely that within this week, we will encounter a rude person one way or another before the week is out. Should we turn the other cheek, ignore, and just let our frustrations with this person ferment? Read on, it may be toxic if you do.
For starters, rude behaviour and rude speech have negative effects on our emotional health. Rude behaviour begets rudeness one way or another. The act of being rude or being on the receiving end of rudeness can damage our emotional health and productivity. A rude interruption during a meeting may not end up in an all-out argument or physical confrontation, but there will be subtle ways you respond negatively to the instigator.
Michael P. Leiter, PhD, Professor of Organizational Psychology at Deakin University in Geelong, Australia, defines rudeness. It is when a person behaves in a way that doesn’t align with the way someone else might think is appropriate or civil, “You can’t really assume that the people you’re encountering share your core values about how people should get along.”
Rudeness can be unintentional or intentional. A lot of the rudeness that we encounter is actually unintentional. We see it often here in Bangkok and many large cosmopolitan cities during our daily commute. Everyone seems to be in a hurry and are rushing to get themselves somewhere fast whether it’s in the trains or on the roads and rude behaviour is bound to happen. While making your way through BTS stations and on the trains in the morning rush, bumping into each other without apologising, your weekdays start with emotional stress because of these rude triggers. So being rightfully frustrated, you find yourself elbowing your way into the crowded train.
Or if you’re driving, you are likely to be cut off by a car that is trying to change lanes suddenly. Perhaps they weren’t able to understand what Google maps meant when it announced the left turn 200 meters earlier. You respond by honking and cursing out loud in your car.
Then, there’s intentional rudeness. This kind of person has made it a habit to be rude with the goal of getting attention. Do you notice sometimes that rude people tend to be more confident and stand out? And they may even seem to be more successful because of their outspokenness. There has been a study about how we are actually secretly impressed with them even if we don’t like them. This happens to the extent that we even overlook the rudeness and accept their posturing themselves as a "strong leader".
Rudeness can be a form of power play, a display of authority, showing “who’s the boss”. Obnoxious rude behaviour sprouts from narcissism and a core belief of entitlement. They believe their agenda is more important than yours and so their time more important than yours. Their rude obnoxiousness sure does get attention.
See full written post here: http://sireesara.com/2021/03/12/breaking-the-toxic-cycle-of-rudeness/
