Doing it Messy

Ruth also explores why trade-offs need regular check-ins rather than daily agonising, why so many valid seasons of life deserve respect, and why women in particular need to hold the long view, including planning for retirement. Drawing on her Run Your Own Race keynote for Lunit International, she asks: in each area of your life, are you in a sprint season or a marathon season?

Want to design a life on your own terms? Join Ruth for Design a Life You Love, an in-person workshop in Wellington on Friday 23 October, 1:00pm to 2:30pm. We'll work through your values, identity and priorities so you know what to say yes and no to in this season.

Book your spot: https://www.thevipmindset.com/event-details/design-a-life-you-love-in-person-workshop

More from Ruth: www.thevipmindset.com

In this conversation, Steph talks about her life experience and how she looks after herself in a career that doesn't really allow for balance. She's refreshingly honest about the messy parts of her life, why she's so passionate about this work, and how much still needs to be done.

If you've ever wondered how women doing big, demanding work actually hold it all together (or don't), this one's for you.

Want to design a life on your own terms? Join me for Design a Life You Love, an in-person workshop in Wellington on Friday 23 October. Book here: https://www.thevipmindset.com/event-details/design-a-life-you-love-in-person-workshop

There are 525,600 minutes in a year. So how are you actually spending yours?

In this solo episode of Doing It Messy, Ruth explores why our time and energy are some of the most valuable things we have, and why taking that seriously doesn't mean turning every moment into a productivity project

Want to go deeper? Sign up for the Design a Life You Love Workshop. Book here: https://www.thevipmindset.com/event-details/design-a-life-you-love-in-person-workshop

Ruth reflects on how rituals help us heal by acknowledging loss, gathering together, and letting sorrow and laughter sit side by side. She shares ideas from anthropologist Dimitris Xygalatas on why shared, in-person rituals build belonging, and from Harvard researcher Michael Norton on what turns a habit into a meaningful ritual.

You'll hear simple family rituals you can start today, like blessing the kai and "high-low buffalo," a way to share a high, a low and something interesting from your day. Ruth also talks about why celebrating wins and milestones matters even more in hard times, why Pride is a powerful act of joy, and how to reflect on your year by balancing accountability with grace.

Topics: rituals vs habits, grief and healing, family rituals, gratitude, celebrating wins, self-reflection, intentional living 

Society sold us one version of "normal" and it was never built for most of us. This episode unpacks some mental load research, the gender pay and leadership gaps, and why questioning inherited expectations around career, relationships and family is the first step toward building a life that's actually yours. Values, strengths, impact, and how to start designing it on your own terms.

What happens when you stop making life decisions based on what everyone else expects, and start asking whose life this actually is? Ruth shares the personal story behind The VIP Mindset, why values like Freedom and Matatika reshaped her choices after burnout at 29, and announces a new interview series, On Her Own Terms, spotlighting women who've built values-led lives outside the expected script. A conversation about obligation versus intention, for anyone questioning burnout, midlife change, or what a values-led life actually looks like from Aotearoa New Zealand.

 This is the full story of how a self-loathing people-pleaser with undiagnosed ADHD became the founder of VIP Mindset: the burnout, the slow unravelling of a life that never fit, and the field of period pain where this whole podcast began. I don’t tell you this to say I got it right. I tell you because I know what it’s like to feel like something’s off and not know how to change it.

Have you ever put something off because you assumed there would always be time?

In this episode, I’m reflecting on knowing what we want, building towards the opportunities we hope for, and being brave enough to take the leap when they arrive. From saving for a future home and taking singing lessons to jumping into cold water to see turtles and starting the dance floor in a gold sequin gown, this is a gentle reminder not to spend so long preparing for life that we forget to live it.

And if you’re worried about what people think?

Wear the rhinestones anyway.

www.thevipmindset.com

What does it mean to choose who you want to be, even when you know you’ll never get it perfectly right?

Today I’m sharing a story about a childhood friend, a moment I wish I’d handled differently, and the loss that changed the way I try to show up in the world.

But ultimately, this episode is about something bigger: identity, and the choices we make about who we want to be.

Because we don't have to be perfect. We just have to know who we're trying to become.

Who are you choosing to be today?

Content note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and grief

Short description

What if feeling stuck isn't about needing to try harder? What if we're simply being pulled in so many directions that we've stopped making deliberate choices about where we're going?

In this episode, Ruth explores the difference between living by choice and living out of obligation, and asks one simple question: Does this actually matter to me?

A practical, honest conversation about getting off autopilot and creating a life that actually feels like ours.