What happens when you stop making life decisions based on what everyone else expects, and start asking whose life this actually is? Ruth shares the personal story behind The VIP Mindset, why values like Freedom and Matatika reshaped her choices after burnout at 29, and announces a new interview series, On Her Own Terms, spotlighting women who've built values-led lives outside the expected script. A conversation about obligation versus intention, for anyone questioning burnout, midlife change, or what a values-led life actually looks like from Aotearoa New Zealand.

 This is the full story of how a self-loathing people-pleaser with undiagnosed ADHD became the founder of VIP Mindset: the burnout, the slow unravelling of a life that never fit, and the field of period pain where this whole podcast began. I don’t tell you this to say I got it right. I tell you because I know what it’s like to feel like something’s off and not know how to change it.

Have you ever put something off because you assumed there would always be time?

In this episode, I’m reflecting on knowing what we want, building towards the opportunities we hope for, and being brave enough to take the leap when they arrive. From saving for a future home and taking singing lessons to jumping into cold water to see turtles and starting the dance floor in a gold sequin gown, this is a gentle reminder not to spend so long preparing for life that we forget to live it.

And if you’re worried about what people think?

Wear the rhinestones anyway.

www.thevipmindset.com

What does it mean to choose who you want to be, even when you know you’ll never get it perfectly right?

Today I’m sharing a story about a childhood friend, a moment I wish I’d handled differently, and the loss that changed the way I try to show up in the world.

But ultimately, this episode is about something bigger: identity, and the choices we make about who we want to be.

Because we don't have to be perfect. We just have to know who we're trying to become.

Who are you choosing to be today?

Content note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and grief

Short description

What if feeling stuck isn't about needing to try harder? What if we're simply being pulled in so many directions that we've stopped making deliberate choices about where we're going?

In this episode, Ruth explores the difference between living by choice and living out of obligation, and asks one simple question: Does this actually matter to me?

A practical, honest conversation about getting off autopilot and creating a life that actually feels like ours.

A friend named a number for what she was capable of — and it made me realise how small I’d unconsciously made “possible” for myself. This one’s about seeing what others can do without falling into comparing yourself to them, and what happens when you actually get curious about your own ceiling.

🔗 Designing a Life You Love, 19 August — thevipmindset.com/design-a-life-you-love-workshop

Have you ever caught yourself wondering, Is this really the life I want?

Maybe you've found yourself daydreaming about quitting your job, moving overseas, buying a boat, or starting over somewhere completely different. Or maybe you've stayed in situations far longer than you've wanted to because change felt too hard.

In this episode, Ruth explores the importance of giving ourselves permission to keep choosing the lives we're building. She shares reflections from a challenging week, why knowing our own tendencies matters just as much as knowing our values, and introduces a simple exercise she calls The Dream Life Project to help you start creating a life that feels more like your own.

If you've been feeling stuck, restless, or unsure where to start, this episode is for you.

✨ Ready to take the next step?

Join Ruth's upcoming online workshop, Design a Life You Love, where you'll explore your Values, Identity and Priorities, and begin creating a practical roadmap towards a life that feels intentional, aligned and uniquely yours.

🔗 Register here: https://www.thevipmindset.com/design-a-life-you-love-workshop https://www.thevipmindset.com/design-a-life-you-love-workshop

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend or leave a review. It helps more women discover the show and start designing lives they love.

This week Ruth explores te whare tapa whā, a model of health and hauora by Sir Mason Durie. She discusses what she’s trying right now, and why habits and community matter more than getting it right every time.

We hear the phrase work-life balance all the time—but what if the problem isn't balance at all?

In this episode of Doing It Messy, Ruth questions why we've been taught to place work at the centre of our lives, with everything else squeezed into the margins. Through personal stories and gentle reflection, she explores the power of intentional choices, the trade-offs we all make, and how creating a life you love starts with asking one simple question:

What am I choosing?

If you've ever felt like life is happening to you rather than being something you're actively creating, this episode is for you.

🎧 Plus, download the free Ten Minutes to Reclaim Your Life worksheet to help you reconnect with what matters most. The link is in the show notes.

Remember: progress over polish.

Some weeks you don't get polished — you get real. This one's about choosing presence over perfection, protecting what matters (hi, parkrun and Alignment Circle prep), and figuring out which balls actually bounce.