In this episode of The Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show, I’m joined by law enforcement specialist Captain Eric Threlkeld to explore one of the biggest failures in how domestic abuse is understood and investigated.

Too often, cases are treated as isolated incidents — a single argument, a single injury, a single call-out.

But domestic abuse is not an incident.
It’s a pattern.

And when professionals fail to recognise that, risk isn’t just misunderstood — it’s missed entirely.

We discuss:

• Why incident-based policing puts victims at risk
• The importance of pattern recognition in domestic abuse cases
• How coercive control operates without visible violence
• The role of multidisciplinary teams in preventing escalation
• Why risk assessment tools are failing in practice — and what’s really going wrong
• How subtle threats, especially involving weapons, create fear and compliance without action

This episode is essential listening for professionals working in policing, safeguarding, family law, and support services — and for anyone who wants to understand what risk really looks like behind closed doors.

Because when we don’t understand risk…
we don’t just miss it.
We create the conditions for harm.

If you are navigating abuse, support links are in the linktree.
If you’re a professional or survivor ready to deepen your understanding, you can also register your interest in trauma-informed training and resources via the link provided.

https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericthrelkeld/

In this episode, I break down one of the most misunderstood aspects of coercive control:

Isolation that doesn’t look like isolation.

Because the reality is—
Perpetrators don’t always say:
“You can’t go out.”
“You can’t see your friends.”

Sometimes, they do the opposite.

They encourage it.

And then punish you for it.

Through personal experience, I walk you through how this plays out in real life:

• Being encouraged to go out… then met with abuse, chaos, or crisis
• False emergencies designed to create panic and pull you back
• Emotional punishment for doing exactly what you were told to do
• How repeated patterns condition you to stop going anywhere at all

Over time, it becomes easier to withdraw.
Not because you were told to—
But because the consequences became too much to manage.

And that’s the part that’s often missed.

To the outside world, it can look like:

• A supportive partner
• A “fairy tale” relationship
• A victim choosing to stay home

But behind closed doors, the environment has been shaped so that:
Isolation feels like the safest option.

This episode also challenges how professionals assess risk.

Because asking:

“Did they ever stop you from going out?”

…is not enough.

We need to be asking:

• What happened when you did go out?
• Did it ever feel easier not to go?

Because victims are not the experts in naming abuse.
Professionals are supposed to be.

If we don’t understand this dynamic, we don’t just misunderstand victims—
we miss risk entirely.

If you are navigating abuse, support links are in the link tree.
If you’re a professional or survivor ready to deepen your understanding, you can also register your interest in trauma-informed training and resources via the link provided.

https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

Here’s a polished version you can use across Spotify, Apple, YouTube:

In this powerful episode of the Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show, Kate is joined once again by youth worker and lived-experience advocate Wesley Owen Cunliffe.

Together, they explore the growing and deeply concerning reality facing young people today — from knife crime and exploitation to coercive control, peer pressure, and the blurred lines between “bullying” and abuse.

Drawing on frontline experience and trauma-informed insight, this conversation goes beyond headlines to unpack:

• Why young people are increasingly carrying knives — and where that path leads
• How abuse is learned, repeated, and normalised in childhood
• The impact of social media, belonging, and identity on behaviour
• Why “bullying” is often minimised language for something far more serious
• The confusion young people face around consent, relationships, and boundaries
• The devastating consequences of five minutes of decision-making
• How early intervention, role models, and community support can break the cycle

Wes shares raw, honest insight from his own journey — and delivers a message every young person needs to hear:

“The minute you pick up that blade… the clock starts ticking.”

This episode is a must-listen for:

• Parents
• Safeguarding professionals
• Educators
• Anyone working with young people
• And young people themselves

Because risk doesn’t suddenly appear in adulthood.
It starts earlier.
And if we don’t understand it, we miss it.

If you are navigating abuse, support links are in the link tree.
If you’re a professional or survivor ready to deepen your understanding, you can also register your interest in trauma-informed training and resources via the links provided.

https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

⚠️When we think about risk, most people focus on one thing:

The risk of homicide.

But that’s only one part of the picture.

In this episode, I break down what I call the three pillars of risk—a framework that challenges the way safeguarding, policing, healthcare, and social care currently assess danger.

Because if we only focus on whether someone might take a life…
we miss everything happening before that point.

In this episode, I explore:

• Pillar 1: Risk of homicide
• Pillar 2: Risk of suicide and self-harm (for both victims and perpetrators)
• Pillar 3: The long-term impact on physical health

Because prolonged exposure to trauma doesn’t just affect mental wellbeing—
it impacts the body, increases disease risk, and can become life-threatening in its own right.

• A system focused on criminal thresholds instead of risk management
• Victims being criminalised for trauma-driven responses
• Children being removed without addressing the wider risk environment
• Services working in silos instead of as a safeguarding system
• Early warning signs being missed across schools, healthcare, and workplaces

This episode looks at the bigger picture:

• Why early intervention is critical
• How risk doesn’t disappear—it changes form
• The role of schools, healthcare, workplaces, and the justice system in identifying risk sooner
• Why conviction should never be the primary goal—safety should
• And why victims should never be expected to be the experts in their own abuse

This isn’t just about understanding risk.

It’s about rethinking how we respond to it—across every system that comes into contact with victims and perpetrators.

Because right now, we’re reacting to crisis.

When we should be preventing it.

🔺 The Three Pillars of Risk⚠️ What’s going wrong right now🔍 What needs to change

If you are personally navigating a situation like this, or need support post-separation, you can access the Heal & Self Advocacy Hub and the Safety Exit Plan via the link below.If you are a professional—or someone who has come through the storm and now wants to support others—you can also register your interest in accredited trauma-informed training, available for individuals and teams.🔗 ⁠https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

In this episode, I’m joined by specialist psychiatric nurse Nicola Noel to unpack one of the most difficult but necessary conversations in safeguarding today—how risk is repeatedly missed, and why the consequences can be fatal.

Using the findings from the Southport inquiry as a starting point, we explore the uncomfortable truth:
the warning signs were there… and the outcome was preventable.

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about understanding where systems are failing—and what needs to change.

We cover:

• Why focusing on isolated incidents instead of patterns allows risk to escalate
• How early warning signs in childhood are often misunderstood or dismissed
• The impact of poor information sharing and lack of accountability across services
• The dangerous gap between mental health and criminal justice systems, and how risk gets passed between them
• Why exclusion, labelling, and minimisation can make situations worse—not better
• How the same behavioural patterns seen here mirror those in domestic abuse and coercive control cases

We also explore a critical question:
Are we too focused on avoiding criminalisation… at the cost of protecting lives?

This conversation goes beyond one case.
It highlights a much bigger issue:

👉 Risk is not always obvious
👉 It is not always easy to evidence
👉 And when we don’t understand it—we don’t just miss it
We create the conditions for harm

Whether you’re a professional working in safeguarding, mental health, education or policing—or someone trying to make sense of your own experience—this episode will challenge the way you think about risk, responsibility, and intervention.

Because the reality is this:

Patterns save lives.
But only if we’re trained to see them.

You can check out Nicola's work here:

And as always if you are impacted by abuse and need support or your a professional wanting to expand your own professional lens, head to the link tree:

https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

In this episode, I break down a form of risk that is often missed — not because it isn’t there, but because it doesn’t look the way people expect it to.

We’re taught to look for clear threats, visible harm, or obvious warning signs. But what happens when the fear is real… and yet nothing “concrete” seems to explain it?

Drawing on my own experience, I walk you through how perpetrators can create fear without ever making a direct threat. How seeds of uncertainty are planted, reinforced, and used to gain control — often leaving victims questioning their own reality.

This isn’t about misunderstanding.
This is about psychological destabilisation.

I also explain why risk often increases at the point of disclosure, why leaving can be the most dangerous time, and why listening to your instinct matters — even when you can’t fully make sense of it.

This episode is for both survivors and professionals who want to better understand how risk operates beneath the surface — and why we must learn to make the invisible visible.

Important: Safety always comes first. If you are in immediate danger or something is escalating, contact emergency services.

If you are personally navigating a situation like this, or need support post-separation, you can access the Heal & Self Advocacy Hub and the Safety Exit Plan via the link below.

If you are a professional—or someone who has come through the storm and now wants to support others—you can also register your interest in accredited trauma-informed training, available for individuals and teams.

🔗 https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

Most people are told to report abuse immediately.

But what if reporting at the wrong time actually increased your risk?

In this episode, I break down one of the most misunderstood aspects of domestic abuse—when to report, and when waiting could be the safer and more effective option.

We explore the key legal differences between coercive control and stalking, why some cases struggle to meet criminal thresholds, and how patterns of behaviour—not isolated incidents—are often what determine outcomes.

I also share practical, trauma-informed guidance on:

• How to safely exit a relationship
• Why boundaries and written communication are critical post-separation
• How to build a stronger evidential picture
• The mistakes that can unintentionally increase risk

This episode is for both survivors navigating abuse and professionals supporting them, offering insight into how risk is often misunderstood—and what needs to change.

Because understanding behaviour isn’t enough.

Recognising patterns is what saves lives.

If you need support or want to access the safety exit plan mentioned in this episode, you’ll find the link tree

And if you’re a professional or even a survivor looking to deepen your understanding of trauma-informed risk and pattern-based assessment, you can also register your interest using the link provided in the link tree

⁠https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

Welcome to the relaunch of the Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show.

In this episode, I share why this platform has moved, what you can expect going forward, and why understanding coercive control, trauma, and risk has never been more important.

This show is for both survivors and professionals—because the gaps in understanding are still costing people their safety.

If you are navigating abuse, you are not alone.

If you are a professional, this is your opportunity to deepen your understanding and recognise risk more effectively.

You’ll find links in the Linktree to support, resources, and ways to access further guidance.

https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

If you feel in immediate risk, please call your country's emergency services.