Domestically Feral

Mr. Darcy has endured many indignities in his seventeen years: a husband, a child, a dog, and the arrival of Edgar Allan Purr.

But now the senior resident would like to file a formal grievance.

His chamberpot has been invaded, misused, scooped, breached, and treated like a public utility by individuals with no respect for private property or basic feline dignity.

Management has been notified.
Management has done very little.

What happens when everything you've been taught about the end of the world suddenly stops making sense?

Several years ago, I found myself terrified for my three-year-old daughter's future. I'd grown up believing in the rapture, the tribulation, and the coming destruction of the earth. But when I began questioning those teachings, I was left with a frightening thought: What if we weren't going to be rescued before everything fell apart?

What about my little girl?

What followed were months of tears, desperate prayers, difficult questions, and a deep dive into Scripture that changed everything.

In this special bonus episode, I'm sharing my journey away from dispensationalism, the biblical discoveries that challenged what I'd always believed, and how fear gradually gave way to hope.

This isn't a theological debate. It's my testimony, and an invitation to examine Scripture for yourself.

Because our children's futures matter. What we teach them matters. And no election, government, or frightening headline changes who is King.

Christ has ALL authority. And He told us to GO.

My brand-new husband went out of town for one night.

I went to a casino, accidentally retired undefeated at blackjack, and left with fifteen hundred dollars in my pockets after a drunk friend whispered, “Run.”

Nothing illegal happened.

Which, unfortunately, is exactly what guilty people say.

In 2011, my husband and I were flying home from our Disney World honeymoon when he spotted someone at the Orlando airport who made him completely lose his composure.

Sir Patrick Stewart. Captain Jean-Luc Picard himself.

As a lifelong Star Trek: The Next Generation fan, Dave was starstruck. I, his brand-new bride, was considerably less impressed.

What followed was an entire flight spent watching my husband watch First Class, where he was convinced Captain Picard was sitting.

For fifteen years, Dave has proudly told people, "I flew through the air with Captain Picard."

With the passing of Patrick Stewart, that ridiculous little honeymoon memory has taken on a new meaning.

In this special bonus episode of Domestically Feral, I'm sharing a funny, personal story about marriage, celebrity encounters, growing up with Star Trek, and the unexpected sadness of saying goodbye to someone you never really knew.

After months of pouncing, counter trespassing, toilet paper crimes, emotional manipulation, and psychological warfare against Mr. Darcy, I regret to inform you that Edgar Allan Purr has become useful.

He patrols the kitchen floorboards. He supervises the coffee bar. He may or may not be eating spiders beneath the cabinets, and frankly, I have chosen not to ask questions.

This week on Domestically Feral: one chocolate cat appoints himself Pest Control, Coffee Bar Supervisor, and General Household Entertainment — not because he was asked, but because he identified weaknesses in management and stepped into power.

Concerning.

But unfortunately effective.

After following a trail of mysterious clues through a family cabin in Tennessee, Dave and I have finally found what we believe is a long-lost family treasure.

There's just one problem.

The treasure is wrapped in a filthy pillowcase, something about it doesn't add up, and Dave has been behaving suspiciously all weekend.

In the final installment of our anniversary special, the truth finally comes out. And as it turns out, the squirrels, the shovel, the family feud, and the entire treasure hunt were part of an elaborate deception months in the making.

Fifteen years later, I'm telling the story of the biggest lie my husband ever told me.

And why I married him anyway.

Dave has found a clue.

Not just any clue, either. This one is written in purple crayon, bears a family crest, and appears to be connected to a long-lost treasure that nobody in his family seems to believe actually exists.

Naturally, we have to investigate.

In Part Two of our anniversary special, an innocent birthday getaway turns into a full-blown treasure hunt involving riddles, old family stories, suspicious relatives, and a husband who seems awfully invested in finding something that may not even exist.

Meanwhile, I remain completely oblivious to what's really going on.

Fifteen years ago, Dave spent months planning an elaborate deception, and I missed every single warning sign.

What started as a birthday trip to a family cabin in Tennessee somehow involved an old family treasure, suspicious squirrels, a shovel, clues written in purple crayon, and a rather questionable pillowcase.

And me? I was completely oblivious.

In Part One of this special anniversary story, I revisit the longest con Dave ever pulled on me—and how an ordinary birthday weekend turned into something neither of us would ever forget.

Some people are born with quick wit.

I was apparently issued delayed processing, insomnia comebacks, and one emergency cannon I did not know I had.

This week on Domestically Feral: poker, porch swings, chauvinistic kitchen comments, and the one miraculous night my brain delivered the perfect sentence at the exact right moment.

I tried to take one small, biblically defensible nap.

Edgar attacked my feet, boarded the bed like a pirate, and somehow got himself halfway inside the box spring.

This week on Domestically Feral: rest is attempted, chaos is deployed, and management definitely has whiskers.