On Ep 183 of American Sex Podcast, we talk with Sinclair Sexsmith about dominance & submission. While most are aware that Dom/sub play is common in kink, we also have a very narrow view of what it entails. D/s isn’t always cruel & authoritarian. We talk about the many ways people engage in D/s & how they find strength by surrendering to powerlessness, including:

• The different types of D/s & selecting areas of control
• Building healthy dynamics
• “Subs hold all the power”
• Balancing fantasy & reality
• “Giving up” safe words
• D/s as an “intimacy fetish”
• Deconstructing power

Guest Bio – Sinclair Sexsmith

SINCLAIR SEXSMITH (they/them) is an award-winning queer trans masc writer focusing on queer culture, trauma, dominance, submission, spiritual kink, and transgender and nonbinary issues. Sinclair’s creative nonfiction and queer erotica writings are widely published online and in more than thirty anthologies, including eight volumes of Best Lesbian Erotica series. They are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year Volume 4, Volume 5, Volume 6, Best Lesbian Erotica 2012, Erotix: Literary Journal of Somatics, and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica. Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2015 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award. Sinclair writes at sugarbutch.net since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the top sex blogs. They have been teaching about erotic writing, the power of queer narratives, somatic arts, and many sex and kink techniques since 2002. Sinclair is an international leather titleholder, a pretty good cook, and an avid creative journaler. Follow all their work at patreon.com/mrsexsmith.

Episode 183 Links

• Sinclair Sexsmith Quicklinks http://allmylinks.com/mrsexsmith
• Sinclair Sexsmith Twitter http://twitter.com/mrsexsmith
• Sinclair Sexsmith Instagram http://instagram.com/mrsexsmith
• Sinclair Sexsmith Facebook http://facebook.com/sugarbutch
• Sinclair Sexsmith Patreon http://patreon.com/mrsexsmith
• Sinclair Sexsmith Blog http://sugarbutch.net
• D/S Playground Classes https://dsplayground.com/
• Sinclair Sexsmith Website https://www.mrsexsmith.com/
• Is kink a sexual orientation? Discussion in American Sex Episode 181: https://sunnymegatron.com/kink-education-sunny-megatron-podcast/
• The Dominance Playbook: Ways to Play With Power in Scenes and Relationships by Anton Fulmen https://www.amazon.com/Dominance-Playbook-Power-Scenes-Relationships/dp/0937609900
• Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090

• No Bullsh*t Intro to Kink workshop, Sunny Megatron/Sex Positive World 3/19/22 https://www.sexpositiveworld.org/event-details/a-no-bulls-it-intro-to-kink
• Resistbot: Send an email to your legislators asking them to vote NO on the Earn It Act https://resist.bot/petitions/PVLKLV or OR TEXT SIGN PVLKLV TO 50409
• ACLU roundup of current anti-trans & anti-LGBTQ+ bills https://www.aclu.org/legislation-affecting-lgbtq-rights-across-country
• Legislation proposing bans of LGBTQIA+, racial & other “divisive” topics discussed/taught in classrooms https://www.edweek.org/policy-politics/heres-the-long-list-of-topics-republicans-want-banned-from-the-classroom/2022/02
• GOP pushes anti-LGBTQ+ legislation https://www.msnbc.com/zerlina/watch/gop-pushes-anti-lgbtq-legislation-132900421866

• Open Deeply Podcast http://opendeeplypodcast.com (Current guest Mollena Williams Haas)
• Sunny Megatron TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sunnymegatron
• Ken’s charity DnD game Mondays 4pm-7pm PT https://www.twitch.tv/thunderpantsacademy
• American Sex Podcast Discord Community http://bit.ly/discordasp
• American Sex Podcast Patreon http://patreon.com/americansex
• Kink Academy Online BDSM Learning Library http://bit.ly/kinkacademy
• Sunny’s Free Kink Negotiation & Scene Planning Mini-Workbook https://sunnymegatron.gumroad.com/l/negotiationwb

 

Episode 183 Sponsor & Affiliate Discount Codes/Links

*by using our links & codes you can help support our work while saving a few bucks too—win/win!

• 30-day free trial of Dipsea Stories when you use code SUNNY http://dipseastories.com/sunny

• 20% off AND free shipping when you go to http://LikeAKitten.com/ sunny OR enter code SUNNY at checkout
• Get up to 2 free months of podcasting service with Libsyn using this link https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=SUNNY or use code SUNNY

• Hot & Healthy Erotic Humiliation recorded class https://gum.co/humiliationclass
• Prostate Play for Beginners (recorded class) from Sugar Baltimore https://www.sugartheshop.com/prostate-milking-for-beginners.html
• Sunny & Ken’s classes on Kink Academy http://bit.ly/kinkacademyelectric & http://bit.ly/kinkacademyhumiliation

• 10% off American Sex Podcast & Sunny Megatron merch with code SUNNY (t-shirts, mugs, phone cases & more) http://bit.ly/sunnyshirts
• 15% off your order at Lovehoney when you use this link http://bit.ly/lovehoney15 This link can be a little wonky and does not keep tracking cookies. If the discount does not show up in your cart (or disappears after you shop around on the site), access the site with that link again. Your items will still be in your cart & the discount will appear)
• 15% off everything at Lelo.com with code SUNNY
• 10% off everything (with minor restrictions) online from woman-owned, feminist, trans & queer-friendly Early To Bed http://bit.ly/sunnyetb with code SUNNY
• 10% off everything from Fun Factory using this link http://bit.ly/sunnyfunfactory and the code SUNNY at checkout
• 15% off most items from Stockroom https://bit.ly/sunnystockroom15 with code SUNNY

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Sunny & Ken, xo!