Co-Host: Abhas Misraraj @abhasmisraraj | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

The story of how we met is a little unlikely because years ago, I recorded an episode with Aileen for her podcast called The Lavendaire Lifestyle and it was through this episode that Abhas actually found and followed my account. I have this habit of occasionally dm'ing strangers who are lurking in my instagram stories just to say hi and thank them for their support and.... that's how Abhas and I met. From years of anonymity to suddenly exchanging voice and video clips at the cusp of my 5-week trip to Chicago where Abhas happened to be based at the time... that's how we ended up meeting in-person and sparked a very special kind of friendship.

He's an absolute joy to speak with and has such a big heart — get ready as we dive into topics such as (1) his dream home, (2) our shared struggles of wanting to build a place to call our own while simultaneously wanted to disown everything to travel the world, (3) his life changing trip as a solo traveler, (4) how our art has changed based on our personal growth journey, and (5) reframing anxiety as excitement to overcome the fear of public speaking. So this is Abhas describing a little bit about himself...

The Don’t Be Strangers ✨☺️ Pen Pal Club is a whole-community experience supported by life enthusiasts seeking deeper friendships (hello, is this you? 👀).

Join our community to…

If I've piqued your interest and you want to find out more or sign up for the email list that will notify you when this pen pal community goes live — you can find the link in both the show notes and on the @dontbestrangers instagram page where you are always more than welcomed to leave feedback, meet other cool humans, and just drop by for the good vibes. Until next time, ciao from Playa del Carmen, Mexico and remember — don't be a stranger!

Co-Host: Joe Santini @savagesantini | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

Annnd we're back with episode 8 of Don't be Strangers. My name's XinYi and this is a series of collaborative conversations that focuses on sharing and learning about alternative ways to create agency in your life while manifesting deeper connections with everyone you meet. So in the last few episodes, I've mentioned that I would be doing an extended stay in Mexico for 2.5 months... well I'm recording this on my very last week of the first leg of my trip in the beautiful city of Oaxaca. And this episode is extra special because the guest is the host of our little coworking nomad group here.

This is the first time that I've ever joined a coworking nomad group and I could not have imagined a more empathetic, fun-loving, open minded, and caring host as Joe. This experience definitely wouldn't have been the same without him and you're about to find out why... We cover topics such as the (1) magic of journaling: how it's helped him capture experiences such that he can essentially time travel into his own memories, recognize patterns and behaviors, and overcoming a break up, (2) is anything truly frivolous or pointless?, (3) fomo (AKA the fear of missing out) and how it plays into travel, (4) a memoir he's currently writing, and (5) advice my future self would give me today. So this is Joe...

So before I forget, I mentioned something something about an extension to the podcast project involving handwritten notes. I have always wanted to facilitate a pen pal community of some sort so... so I'm in the middle of manifesting it. The differentiator between this pen pal community and others out there is that you'll receive a monthly postcard designed by me with a thought-provoking prompt inspired by one of the episodes on this podcast, you'll fill out that postcard and forward it to someone in the group. In this way, it's not a huge time commitment because the postcard will limit the amount you write (although you can certainly write more if you'd like), the nature of the project naturally vets for and connects you with people who you already know are into interesting conversation topics because they like such prompts/this podcast, and to top it all off you get monthly designs and a handwritten card. This is still a work in progress but I'd love love love to hear what your thoughts are.

Speaking of which, feedback, comments, and discussions always welcomed in this community. Free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! As anyone of any background can apply to come on to co-host an ep, this is my invitation to you to consider applying! Or if you know anyone who appreciates deep conversations or loves making friends, you should consider nominating them to come on the show!

Thank you again Joe for making my experience in Oaxaca so absolutely memorable and I'm excited to see you again in Playa del Carmen. If you'd like to get in touch with him to discuss more about journaling best practices or dig a bit into any of the topics we touched, you can find his contact linked in the show notes or on instagram at @savagesantini! Or if you want a personal introduction, remember that you can always just reach out, and don't be a stranger! Let's talk again soon. ✨

Co-Host: Winnie Storey @skinniwini | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

Welcome back to episode 7 of Don't Be Strangers, a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! My name's XinYi and every episode is co-hosted by a friend or stranger (or stranger-turns-friend). In this episode, I'm speaking with @skinniwinni of instagram, whom graciously volunteered to co-host this episode as my second ever stranger to come on. I adored this conversation with Winnie because we hit on so many really interesting topics as well as the way that our shared cultural Chinese background influences these experiences.

As always, I try to give a little personal introduction as well as ask each guest to give an introduction so you can see two perspectives on the same person. After talking with Winnie for an hour, I'd describe her as a heroine for immigrating from Hong Kong to America at the cusp of entering 9th grade, which is an especially fragile time in anyone's life to make a transition — especially one as dramatic as her's. She's extremely thoughtful and astute, as observed through her open-ness to share her personal struggles with clinical depression and her resolve to heal her own trauma by dedicating herself to a life of self-studying psychology. But the conversation is definitely not all serious, gloom, and doom. Winnie shares her pro-tips for how to refine your search when deciding on a new city to move to (hint: it has something to do with H-mart's, a Korean supermarket chain), we talk about my favorite book The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton, and her obsession with colors and rainbows, all sprinkled with generous amounts of laughter and serotonin. I will place a trigger warning here, as advised by my friend Hajar. There is no explicit mention of suicide, but I do share some negative self-talk that I mull over whenever I personally dip into a depressive funk.

But as always, I'll have timestamps in my shownotes if you want to jump around and listen to the gem's of her immigration story or our discussion of the topic of strangers...

[Full Index & Timestamps - Click Here]

And I love that Winnie emphasized this idea of self acceptance throughout her story. It's something that I'm always working on. In fact, just this past week, I've been dealing with a lot of stress which was starting to burn me out. And as I mentioned in the conversation, whenever I start feeling tired, it's inevitable that I also begin to feel sad. But I somehow managed to kick my butt into doing something to distract myself, and what I ended up doing was editing this podcast. Re-living this conversation was just the prescription I needed to uplift myself.

So Winnie, if you're listening to this, thank you sincerely again for being as vulnerable as you were with someone whom you had just met as we were recording live. Your story is truly an inspiration, and I will be referring back to it, every time I feel down.

As a general life update, Winnie has indeed officially moved to Texas!! I'm so excited for her! And I'm actually flying out to Mexico in under a week. I am so nervous....

As always, feedback, comments, and discussions always welcomed in this community. Free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! As anyone of any background can apply to come on to co-host an ep, this is my invitation to you to consider applying! Or if you know anyone who appreciates deep conversations or loves making friends, you should totally consider introducing us!

Co-Host: Elan @lano.illo | Host:  Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

Hey! You're listening to episode 6 of Don't Be Strangers, a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! I'm your host XinYi and in this episode, we're chatting with my creative chimera sister Elan who describes herself as a life enthusiast and lover of colors. We had rainchecked the recording of this episode at least 2 times due to travel and moving schedules, so I'm so grateful we finally made it happen.

I was personally really ecstatic about this conversation because I met Elan through instagram after a mutual friend of ours, Amy, featured her. Her art, poster design skills, intuition for pop color palettes, and illustration skills are to be envied. When I reached out to ask for an art collaboration, I had no idea it would lead to recording this podcast episode together. So albeit this isn't the first time we've communicated, it was definitely the first time I spoke to her in real time and over video. And we talked a lot.. like for almost 3 hours straight. So yeah, I have a lot of editing ahead of me. Highlights of our upcoming chat includes (1) how she pivoted from studying neuroscience to a career in design, fresh out of school (2) my favorite sensory experiences that make life colorful such as scents, visuals, textures, etc. (3) if Elan was a secondary character, who would she pick to be the protagonist? (4) a potential method for overcoming imposter syndrome and (5) what quarantine revealed about her friendships and long distance relationship.

[TIMESTAMPS & HIGHLIGHTS - CLICK HERE]

Man, it's conversations like these that makes my heart ache for the existence of teleportation. Like why don't we live closer? But in any case, how would you answer some of the questions that Elan proposed to me? Feel free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a community thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! And don't forget, anyone of any background can apply to come on to chat. Or if you know anyone who appreciates deep conversations or loves making friends, you should totally consider introducing us!

I'll link Elan's art in the show notes, but you can also directly connect with her on instagram via @lano.illo! Or if you want a personal introduction, just reach out, and don't be a stranger! Let's speak again soon.

Co-Host: Anthony “Doza” Mendoza @dozaleprince | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

Welcome back to Don't Be Strangers, a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! My name's XinYi, and this is a huge milestone episode for me because when I started the project, knowing who I am and my propensity to be suddenly struck with a lightning bolt of an idea, fall madly in love with it, begin working on said idea feverishly like I'm possessed, then proceed to fall horribly out of love with it — I had promised myself to produce at least 5 episodes before seeing if I want to continue or to set aside this project. Well, this is episode 5, and I have about 8 more recordings scheduled in the next month or so... so I don't think I'll be stopping any time soon.

The other reason why this episode is incredibly special is because this is the first true episode I recorded with an actual stranger. I had made a public post announcement in a Facebook group asking for co-hosts and Anthony Mendoza or "Doza" as we refer to him in this ep, graciously volunteered. I was super nervous, lol, but ultimately, it was super fun! In this conversation, we talk about (1) what villains we would want to be vs what villains we would most be like, (2) Doza's creative process as a rapper, (3) what we're currently struggling with in life, (4) the moment I realized I was old, and (5) is it better to be single or to be married, especially if you're really trying to focus on your career?

Full Questions & Highlights [ Timestamp Index ] * Linked Here

And that's the scoop! As always, if you have any thoughts on anything we talked about, feel free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a community thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! As the goal of this podcast is to simply narrow the gap between all of us as fellow humans, anyone of any background can apply to come on to chat. Which means, yes, you too can apply to co-host an episode! Or if you know anyone who appreciates deep conversations or loves making friends, you should totally consider introducing us to each other!

I'll link all of Doza's socials and music in the show notes, but can also directly reach out to him via instagram at his account @dozaleprince! Let's connect again soon, and remember, don't be a stranger. :')

Co-Host: Claire Petersen @byclairep | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

Hellooo, it's so good to catch up again. Today I'm sharing episode 4 of Don't Be Strangers, a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! My name's XinYi, and the way this works is that anyone of any background can apply to come on and chat with me about anything under the sun. The goal is to simply narrow the gap between all of us as fellow humans. Today we're chatting with my Berlin-based Irish friend Claire, whom is I met in New York City thanks to the power of YouTube. Highlights of our conversation includes (1) The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin — a personality analysis of how you deal with internal and external expectations which is very useful for understanding why there can be disagreements or tension, (2) Claire's secret to not burning out as she attempts to turn her photography hobby into a business (3) Is the 40 hour work week actually effective, productive, and sustainable? (4) What living in Berlin is actually like and why does Claire adore it so much?, and (5) success defined as "doing what you said you'd do, with ease..." As usual, I'll include all the timestamps and more in the show notes, so let's jump to it!

CLICK HERE FOR FULL HIGHLIGHTS & TIMESTAMPED INDEX

I swear that Claire is my secret twin sister because sometimes we still read each other's minds... even when we haven't spoken in over two years! Do you have any friends like this? Please feel free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a community thread @dontbestrangers on instagram to share your your thoughts about the conversation or any feedback you'd like to give! Speaking of which, since starting to introduce each of the co-hosts, as per feedback from episode 1 with my husband, I'd love to know if it's been too extra that I both introduce the guest and ask them to introduce themselves? Or how do you feel?

And thank you for the overwhelming support I've gotten thus far because my initial goal was to produce 5 episodes, so I could get a feel of whether this was a project I wanted to keep longterm. And I think as of right now, I have scheduled enough conversations that I can produce 10 episodes. So truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart, and this is your reminder that you, too, can apply to co-host an episode! And if you know anyone who would appreciate these conversations or loves making friends and building community, it would be amazing if you could share the podcast and help make a few introductions!

Speaking of introductions, you can also say hi to Claire via @byclairep / @shotbyclairep on instagram where you can find her gorgeous portrait photography works & remember, don't be a stranger. :- ) I can't wait to chat again soon~

Co-Host: Mei (Xinyi’s little sister) | Host: Xinyi @xinyixan

Hello~ Thanks for joining me for episode 3 of Don't Be Strangers, a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! The way this works is that anyone of any background can apply to come on and chat with me about anything they want. The goal is to raise awareness of social isolation and to narrow the gap between all of us as humans. Today I have a very special guest because it's my one and only favorite little sister. I feel very fortunate that I have such a tight relationship with my sibling because I know it's not a universally shared experience. We recorded this podcast kind of spontaneously because we were having one of our usual conversations this morning, and I suddenly turned to her and said something along the lines of: "ok stop talking, we need to record this so it can go on my podcast."

And I think it's perfect because I got feedback from episode 1 that maybe I should have given more of an introduction of myself so this will be the ultimate introduction as my sister will lovingly roast me by describing 1. what a bad older sister I was as a child, 2. how our relationship developed and was strengthened with age and maturity, 3. a really thorough astrology breakdown of me, her, and my husband including a relationship analysis between all three of us (don't worry, she gives an 101 introductory crash course so the conversation shouldn't be too hard to follow even for an astrology newbie like me) and 4. her sharing some really entertaining and vivid dreams which will also paint a picture to you of what my mornings look like.

Quick notes here, 1. she does cuss maybe 2-3 times so just FYI if you have any sensitivity to that sort of thing and 2. we've been told that we have pretty similar voices so hopefully the conversation won't be too hard to follow....

[index of conversation highlights + timestamps here]

And we cut it off there because honestly we can talk for hours about absolutely nothing and everything. Yes, I'm aware that I totally forgot to ask her the key question of, "how do you define a stranger and how does one transition from being one to not?" but I'm obviously extremely flawed, so I'm just going to forgive myself on this and keep moving forward. Maybe, if you enjoyed this episode enough, I can bring her back on and remember to ask her next time. Or better yet, I can do a little family reunion episode where I get both her and the hubs together.

Anyways, as always, I'd love to hear if you had any thoughts, as you can always shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a community thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! So I'd love to know, do you care about astrology or personality typing? If so, what are your signs? What are your favorite personality tests and how have they helped you? And it would be an honor if you know anyone else who is passionate about having deep conversations or community building, if you could connect us! Or if you're feeling adventurous, you are always welcomed to apply to co-host an episode yourself! And with that.... ciao!

Co-Host: Arty Braud @artybraud | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

Hi, I hope that you're having a good day and I want to thank you for making me/us part of your day? This is episode 2 of Don't Be Strangers, a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! The way this works is that anyone of any background can apply to come on and chat with me about anything they want. The goal is to raise awareness of social isolation and to narrow the gap between all of us as humans. Today, I'm talking with my friend Arty (I hope it's ok that I call you that if you're listening, because he told me that only his close friends call him that but... LOL). I got some feedback from episode one and people were insisting on an introduction of some sort of the co-host, so I'm going to be super extra and not only introduce him from my point of view, but also ask him to introduce himself!

So, I met Arty in Chicago May of 2021 (so pretty recently if you're listening in real time) via this FB group called Asian Creative Network. I was spending 5 weeks out there which is pretty long for a nomad like me so I felt like I needed to establish some friendships so... I just searched the term "Chicago" in said FB group and dm'd anyone who had ever mentioned Chicago in a post or comment up to 3 years back asking for local recommendations as I'd just moved to town. So yeah, that's how Arty & I started speaking and we've only met twice in person and today's conversation will actually be the 3rd time we've ever talked and we cover a lot. It was really apparent to me from our first meet up which was an urban hike through the Boystown neighborhood that took upwards of 2-3 hours, and I was so intrigued because he's a multi-disciplinary artist who does it all, has a free nomadic soul that I completely relate to, and thinks about things profoundly. Highlights of this upcoming conversation includes (1) an analogy of why it isn't healthy to draw all your energy from one thing or hobby similar to how you shouldn't depend solely on one person, (2) upcoming travel plans to California and an extended work from home situation in Mexico, (3) Arty's potential future business plan for a creative space in Chicago, (4) my top cities I've traveled to and what is the commonality between them, and (5) are we actually insane? I'll include all the timestamps and more in the show notes and if I've piqued your interest... here's Arty, introducing himself...

~

I am always so inspired when I meet people like Arty because they're just brimming with life and possibilities. As always, I'd love to hear if you had any thoughts on anything we touched on in the conversation. Please feel free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a community thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! I will also link all of his socials in the show notes and associated instagram posts (if you want to reach out to him yourself) or I can always also totally make an introduction. Just reach out and don't be strangers.

Just as a reminder, anyone can apply to co-host an episode and if you were so gracious, I would love to hear your feedback or if you know anyone who is also passionate about making friends and community building, I would be floored if you said hi and/or even helped to make a few introductions. Thank you for being who you are and I just want to let you know that you make a positive impact on this world no matter how small it is, I promise you that you've most definitely changed someone's life. Until next time... let's talk again soon.

Hi & welcome to episode 1 of Don't Be Strangers ✨☺️ a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! Statistics show that (1) social isolation is on the rise and (2) the number of close friends someone would say that they have is decreasing. Considering that having a strong social network is one of the key factors in general happiness, overall health, and prolonged longevity, my hope is that this podcast will serve to bring awareness to the issue as well as provide a platform to start solving the problem, together! 

My name is XinYi and I dreamt up this little experiment... and when I say experiment, I stress, this is a complete experiment because I fully intend to treat each episode as a test and learn and improve along the way. So I thought I'd start off easy and not put a lot of pressure on myself by asking someone whom I already knew that I adored having conversations with ... my husband, Joseph. I kind of forgot how wordy we both can be and it was made extremely apparent during the recording because I think we ended up recording close to 3 hours of content (which I was able to edit down to only 1 and a half hours?), so if you like long-format podcasts or if you listen to everything at 2x speed like me — I've got you covered! And to avoid making this any longer... let's just cut to it. 

~

And that concludes our conversation! The point of this podcast is to encourage open and meaningful conversations so I'm very keen to know if you found any part of our conversation interesting or unconventional. Did you agree or disagree with anything? If so, why? This is your warm invitation from me to you to find the instagram post associated with this episode and to share your thoughts (I'll link them the show notes) OR if you feel so inspired... you can send a direct message to @dontbestrangers on instagram or email me at [email protected] and maybe potentially co-host a future episode with me? I know I would love to meet you. 

Also, if you happen to know anyone who is passionate about community building, loves meeting new people, or simply enjoys listening to and participating in deep conversations — I'd be so honored if you could connect us. Again, you can reach out to me @dontbestrangers or email me at [email protected] or you can share this podcast with this loved one and see what they think! 

So, thanks again if you've stuck around till the end here for sharing your time and energy with us! I hope something that we talked about made you laugh or smile at the very least and until next time, wishing you all the very best that life has to offer. ✨