Sex, Love, and Addiction

Don’t Rely on Willpower, Rely on Micro Habits and Gratitude with Karl Staib

04.09.2020 - By Robert Weiss, PHD, MSWPlay

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Karl Staib is the Author of Bring Gratitude, a book to help people unlock their mindset and build a more resilient and confident life. Karl tried to have a head-strong approach to building gratitude, but he realized he was doing it all wrong. Instead of trying to change the way he feels, he started paying attention to how he was feeling, and when he did this, he realized a very important shift happening in his life and wellbeing.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:50] Why is Karl so passionate about gratitude?  [4:25] Watching his father become sicker and sicker made Karl realize he didn’t want to live on grit and willpower alone. [6:45] By analyzing his gratitude journals, he realized he had a lot of mental blocks holding him back. [10:05] Interested in starting a gratitude practice? Figure out your ‘why’ first.  [11:25] Every night Karl writes what he is grateful for and why. [13:35] Karl has a post-it note on his mirror to remind him to think about gratitude when he is brushing his teeth.  [15:45] Use this lockdown period as a transition time to start small and build it into something big.  [17:00] Small baby steps build into sustainable habits.  [19:45] Gratitude is the foundation of mindfulness. [25:05] The idea is to not change how we think or how we feel, it’s giving yourself a moment to think about the emotions these thoughts bring up for you.  [28:15] By having gratitude in Karl’s life, he is more confident and happier.    RESOURCES:  The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men  Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency   Bringgratitude.com Bringgratitude.com/plan Bring Gratitude: Feel Joyful Again with Bite‑Sized Mindset Practices by Karl Staib   QUOTES: “We are hard-wired to see the negative. It’s helped us survive for thousands of years.” “Create micro habits by building on a regular habit.” “We’re locked in our houses right now, but the reality is we get locked in our own heads every single day.”   “Right now is an opportunity for us as a transition time to add little habits.” “Is this the thought I want to continue acting on?”  

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