Read that title again – slowly and carefully. This is important. Let the words sink in – deep inside. Don’t settle. You deserve better.

These Words Are for You If…

If you:

* are dating a jerk* habitually date jerks* are made to feel insecure, unworthy, or otherwise not good enough by the person you are with* are always having to apologize for your boyfriend or girlfriend* feel put down, neglected, or taken for granted*

these words are for you. You deserve better. It’s time to make some changes in the way you think, the way you date, and the way you form and carry out relationships.

These Words Are Not for You If…

If you are dating someone who is kind, faithful, emotionally supportive of you, and your friends and family adore them, these words probably are not for you.

Of course, I always couch those kinds of statements in qualifiers. There could be some hidden flaw that, so far, only your intuition has picked up on. More than likely, your uneasiness stems from your own issues, but sometimes you do need to trust your gut.

Pay attention to any weird feelings and try to figure out what is causing them. There may be some area of your life or your relationship that needs some work.

The Way They Speak

To You

First, let’s talk about the way the people you date speak. Are you happy with the way they speak to you? Do they speak to you with kindness, respect, and gentleness or with rudeness, anger, put-downs, and impatience? Do they speak to you like you are their friend and intellectual equal or do they talk down to you, patronize you, or verbally bully you?

Does the way they speak to you make you feel valued and cherished, or does it make you feel bad about yourself, insecure, or like they take you for granted? Why would you settle for that?

About You

How about the way the people you date speak about you? When they talk to their friends and family, do they praise you and tell everyone how wonderful, lovable, or beautiful you are? Or, do they complain about you and put you down?

And, how do they talk about other people? If they constantly put down and complain about other people, you can be sure they will eventually talk that way about you.

Word Choices

What about the words they choose to use? Is it always f___ this and f___ that? Do they always put things in as rude or as crude a way as possible? Look, even the nicest among us can let an expletive slip out from time to time. But, some people make it a point to cram as many as possible into every conversation. Is that what you really want?

Volume

And lastly, do the people you date usually speak in a normal voice or do they often make a scene by talking inappropriately loudly? Or, when you disagree, do they yell and try to shout you into submission? Do they use the way they speak as a weapon?

What is the point of being in a relationship with someone whose words or way of speaking make you feel bad? Don’t settle for that. You deserve better.

Their Behavior

Okay, I started with the way they speak and spent a lot of time on that because it is super important, but so are other aspects of the way the people you date behave.

I could write a book-length post just listing bad behaviors. So,