Don't "should" on yourself. We all struggle with putting a should on ourselves when we fail. Instead of putting a should on yourself, this recording will give you several tips so that you can stop this destructive cycle and start becoming the spouse you want to be.

In this episode of the 'Turn It Up Marriage Tips and Tools Show,' Coach Kelly discusses the common issue of self-criticism in marriage, specifically the tendency to focus on what we should have done better, known as 'shoulding' on ourselves.

He emphasizes the negative impact this can have on personal well-being and marital relationships, distinguishing between shame and guilt, and advocating for a shift from self-blame to constructive action. Kelly provides practical advice for overcoming self-criticism, including listening to self-talk, setting realistic expectations, seeking forgiveness from God, apologizing, forgiving oneself, making a plan for change, and seeking help from others. He encourages listeners to learn from mistakes and to strive for growth in their marriage, promoting a message of grace, compassion, and continuous improvement.

00:00 Welcome to the Turn It Up Marriage Tips and Tools Show

00:51 Understanding the Harm of 'Shoulding' on Yourself

01:10 Introducing Coach Kelly and the Focus of Today's Episode

02:05 The Difference Between Shame and Guilt

04:07 Practical Steps to Overcome 'Shoulding' on Yourself

07:24 Making a Plan for Positive Change in Your Marriage

10:25 Conclusion and Invitation to Strengthen Your Marriage

Here's the link for the Four R's of an Apology recording: https://youtu.be/kDM6971AhVg

To get a Free Digital Copy of Turn it Up! - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want, go to https://turnitup.coach/75

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