In this months episode I discuss Black Women's Experiences of Masking with the wonderful Efua, founder of Djedi Yogi. Efua has also just become part of the DTM! I Survived Surviving to Thriving group for founding members and it has been an honour building a beautiful relationship of shared growth and healing. We discuss the varying ways Masking impacts the lives of Black Women as we navigate life. In recent years more and more Black Women are receiving late diagnosis of Access Needs, Intellectual Needs and Mental Health. Many of us have spent our lives Masking and assimilating to society as we see it. Trying to not draw attention to ourselves in a society that fixates itself on policing our bodies and our experiences. Join us as we unpack some of our own experiences.

If you would like to read more about Masking and the impacts on your mental and physical well-being, here is the link to the article in which I referenced: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/hiding-feelings#effects-on-health 

If you would like to experience Djedi Yogi Yoga and see some of the amazing work Efua does, click here.

*Trigger Warning* Discussing physical and emotional abuse.

After many weeks away, Don't Touch Me! I Survived is back and in full swing. In this episode I discuss gaslighting and the effects it has on the healing journey with the beautiful Holistic Mooney Skin. This beautiful Woman opens up honestly about her experiences with historical abuse and gaslighting. Holistic Mooney Skins journey from Surviving to Thriving is a testament that there can be life after experiencing severe trauma and abuse. During her stages of healing, she trained to become a qualified aromatherapist and makes her own luxurious and natural skin products that have healing qualities for skin conditions. All Natural & Organic Ingredients, Homemade, Vegan Friendly and Specialising in Common Skin Conditions. Holistic Mooney Skin is registered and insured with the Federation of Holistic Therapists. 

Check out her Instagram or Linktree or shop via her Etsy to purchase her handmade skin care products.

If any woman has been affected by the lived experiences shared in this episode, please email [email protected] quoting 'Help-Seeking' as the subject or Whatsapp with the message 'Help-seeking' to 07595869999 for support and advice. 

The following services may also be able to support.

The Nia Project delivers services for women, girls and children who have experienced sexual and domestic violence.

Sistah Space works with African heritage women & girls who've experienced domestic or sexual abuse or who have lost a loved one to domestic violence.

If you are at risk of immediate harm. please call 999 and a close family member or friend.

This episode I was joined by Rezna Khatun, author of the book 'Why I Loved My Abuser' and Mysharni Mullings, a Trauma Informed Care Practitioner and Mental Health Worker. We discussed the road after surviving and 'What's next?'

Grief, Letting go, Forgiving yourself, What does healing feel like? Help-seeking as a survivor, Symptoms of anxiety and depression, the impacts on physical health and much more. It was an in depth discussion from the perspective of a Survivor and from a Trauma Informed Care practitioner. Often we don't have the discussions of the journey after and what that looks like to the individual who has survived harm. Healing is a cyclical journey that is unique to the individual and it is important to recognise and honour that, the pace at which you navigate your healing is okay for you.

*Please click on guest names to be redirected to their media accounts to discover more. Additionally please click on book title to be redirected to Amazon to purchase Rezna Khatun's book.

For therapy please check out:

The Empowerment Group was founded to provide free and subsidised professional counselling and training services. They cater to adults aged 18+ living in the United Kingdom and exist to improve mental health.

The Black, African and Asian Therapy Network support people who identify as Black, African, South Asian and Caribbean.

And, to support you to creatively enjoy discovering the new 'You' please visit NPNarratives and learn how to use journalling alongside your chosen healing methods.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, please call 999 in the first instance. 

If you require support escaping domestic abuse please see following links:

The Sistah Space organisation work with African heritage women & girls who've experienced domestic or sexual abuse or who have lost a loved one to domestic violence.

NIA is run for women and children by women, providing services developed in consultation with women who have experienced men’s violence, and from a proudly feminist perspective.

Adira provides black people (of all ages - men, women and children) who have  experienced, or who are currently experiencing, mental health issues  with a safe, friendly, culturally-sensitive meeting space, education and  training, information and advice, and social & leisure activities.

Southall Black Sisters run advice, advocacy and resource centre in West London which provides a  comprehensive service to women experiencing violence and abuse and other  forms of inequality. We offer specialist advice, information, casework, advocacy, counselling and self-help support services in several  community languages, especially South Asian languages. Whilst our focus  is on the needs of black and minority women, we will not turn any woman  away who needs emergency help.

This week is a short episode in honour of International Women's Day which took place on the 8th March 2021. I chose to honour 6 Black Women who stood in the face of racism and adversity and strived for their dreams. Black Women who came to Britain and inspired so much change for Black people in Britain. 

Happy International Women's Day 2021. Thank you to all the inspiring Black Women who came to the United Kingdom and fought for social justice while chasing their ambitions. 

The book I referenced from in this episode is:

Black Londoners a HIstory by Susan Okokon. 

In the first episode of 2021 I have the honour of having two beautiful women discussing the dynamics of navigating life and love after experiencing an emotionally or physically toxic relationship. It was my pleasure to have motivational coach and radio presenter Symply Devine and independent Doula, Urban Goddess Evolution. 

Follow them at:

@symply_devine

@urbangoddessevolution 

We had a much needed conversation discussing the ups and downs of dating after experiencing toxicity. A much needed converstion that needs to be had in our communities. We touch on vulnerabilities, setting healthy boundaries in life and relationships and advice we give to our children now. We dived into the 'Broke P*****y Syndrome' to break down the possible reasons a woman may experience this going forward in new relationships. 

It is an enlightening conversation that will definetely open the minds to wanting to have these conversations with ourselves and among our trusted friends and family.

Share your views or your stories with me or enquire to be a guest at [email protected]  

Christmas is upon us and the New Year fast approaching. I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Joyful New Year. Thank you for listening.

!NO! Trigger Warnings! for this episode. Easy LIstening, informative.

This week I discuss the government consultation, 'Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) Call for Evidence'. This is an opportunity for survivors to Have Your Say! in the development of the next 'Tackling Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy'

This new consultation is additionally seeking views from women survivors from underrepresented groups. They want to also hear from organisations, charities, professionals and volunteers who work with survivors. They are also welcoming academic submissions of related research.

The consultaion opened on the 10th of December 2020 and closes on the 19th February 2021.

Be part of the change. They particularly want to hear from women with lived experiences under the previous strategy as well as wanting to understand whether current services have been useful and helpful to you. 

To Have Your Say! and participate in the 'Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) Call for Evidence' click the following link to complete the survey:

https://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/violence-against-women-and-girls-vawg-call-for-evidence?utm_source=5925cb4f-319c-48b3-be1e-733b24f8b856&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=govuk-notifications&utm_content=immediate 

If you feel you need some 'soul sister' support as discussed and shared in this episode please head over to Nadines website where you will find her shop and website that is wealthy in resources at affordable prices to assist you in learning about yourself, learning to love yourself and motivation and empowerment to face your inner fears, rediscover your strengths, create new strengths you never thought you had through writing and journalling your lived experiences and future aspirations. Why not purchase a few NPN tools to explore over the festive season or gift a sister that you love and cherish. You can also follow her on Twitter and Instagram. For her wonderful empowering website and social media links, Click link below:

https://npnarratives.wordpress.com/

If you are a survivor seeking help you may want to check out Sistah Space through their website. They support with Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Discriminatory Abuse, Organisational Abuse, Financial and Material Abuse, Mental Health, Substance Misuse and Depression. They 'work with African and Caribbean heritage women & girls who've experienced domestic or sexual abuse or who have lost a loved one to domestic violence', Click the link below to view their services:

https://www.sistahspace.org/about-us

Don't Touch Me! I Survived returns in January 2021. 

Contact Marcella at: [email protected]

The second episode is here and this week the discussion is Emotional Abuse signs, Clare's Law and the new Stalking Protection Order. I am joined by 26 year old Shannon (alternative name for safety measures) as she shares her experience of emotional abuse and the intersectional layers of emotional cultural abuse. Shannon also shares her experience of using the 'Clare's Law information request service'. 

Emotional abuse is often hard to detect and hard to recognise when experiencing this from a partner. There are also cultural differences in how emotional abuse is perpetrated against a woman or man within African and Caribbean communities. Differences such as religion, faith, heritage culture and traditional practices and folklore may have varying degrees of impact. A major underlying factor to emotional abuse is Narcissistic behaviour. Emotional abuse can cause short-term and long-term health issues which will also be discussed on this weeks episode.

If you would like to be a part of the Don't Touch Me! Winners and Survivors Whatsapp group, please email: [email protected]

If you would like to appear as a guest, please email: [email protected] (All guest appearances are remote due to Covid-19 restrictions).

If you are affected by anything in this episode, please see some helpful links below.

Here is a link to an African and Caribbean organisation for Domestic Violence and Abuse - https://www.sistahspace.org/

Refuge has a 24-hour helpline (0808 2000 247). They can talk you through any issues and help you figure out what you’d like to do next.

Live Fear Free, advice on domestic abuse, sexual violence and violence against women (Wales), 0808 8010 800.

https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/arguing-and-conflict/what-emotional-abuse. 

Below is a link for the met police 'request information under Clare's Law'. This link is only for the London Met.

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/alpha/request-information-under-clares-law/?stepid=1 

To access Clare's Law request for information in any other UK city or town, please google search for your local police station as... 

Example:  'Clare's Law Staffordshire Police'  to locate correct form for your geographical location.

https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ 

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2019/9/contents/enacted 

https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/stalking-protection-orders

*TRIGGER WARNING*

Hello, I'm Marcella and welcome to the first episode of the Don't Touch Me! podcast. A podcast that will have the uncomfortable discussions about Domestic Violence and Abuse to encourage change in our communities. A space where Black Women's pain, truths and experiences are discussed unapologetically. In this first episode, I introduce myself and a little about my lived experiences with historical abuse and domestic abuse, and then, why I began making this podcast. I will also be beginning the discussion on Coercive Control and sharing some facts and examples. During the weeks to follow, I will be publishing the Don't Touch Me! website where there will be links to any resources or organisations that I have discussed on the show. 

If you would like to be a part of the Don't Touch Me! Survivors And We're Winning group, please email: [email protected] for further details. If you would like to participate in and episode of Don't Touch Me! please email: [email protected] to show your interest.

Please be advised that this episode discusses experiences of trauma and listeners are advised that there is a *TRIGGER WARNING* in place. Please practice self-care. If you or anyone you know are at risk of harm please try to talk to someone you can trust. Or click on links below for information and support. 

Here is a link with information on Coercive Control:

https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/controlling-or-coercive-behaviour-intimate-or-family-relationship 

Here are some links for support:

Surviving Economic Abuse: https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/

Freephone 24 hr National Domestic Violence Helpline - 0808 2000 247

Get support from Women's Aid over live chat: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Refuge: https://www.refuge.org.uk/get-involved/contact-us/

The Men’s Advice Line for male domestic abuse survivors - 0808 801 0327

National Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans+ Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0800 999 5428

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-against-women 

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/