Episode 174: Don’t Use These Terms! Words and Phrases to Avoid When Getting Divorced with Christina McGhee

Christina McGhee is back on the show! She joins me to talk about the language we use around divorce, co-parenting, and raising our children. The language we use can be damaging to our children, so this is such an important conversation to have and I hope you get a lot out of listening to it. In fact, even as a professional in this space, I have recently learned how to shift my language about divorce topics. Words matter and the way we convey our ideas do too.

Christina McGhee, MSW is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author. Whether she is speaking, coaching, or writing her goal is to disrupt the status quo, and change divorce for the better by helping families redefine themselves in meaningful ways.

Show Highlights

The way we talk about co-parenting with children by using the term “visitation” and why it’s a terrible term to use (5:53)

When parents focus on what’s “fair” for them, children internalize that their actions must be “fair” in order to make their parents feel ok (12:05)

What is wrong with the word custody, how it affects children, and why parenting time is a better term to use (21:10)

When we talk about equitable time-sharing arrangements, we are talking about equal responsibility, plus Christina talks about the off-duty and on-duty parenting model (26:57)

Why treating time with children as a commodity (50/50, 60/40, etc.) is damaging (39:59)

What is wrong with referring to your co-parent as your ex (51:53)