Dork&Beans

The film series, not the Chinese city. But both are great, shout-out to your thicc noods Shanghai (best noodles in all of China in this humble, non-Chinese guy's opinion).

I started to record this episode with the hope that I was going to spin together a worthwhile fan-fiction on one of my absolute favorite comedies. But, as much as I did some Wikipedia show prep notes, in the end it got offtrack because of how much I like the series. It's easy to just get ranting. One day I'll post a link to the story being fleshed out, regarding "The House of Obannon" and the eternal presence they had in the West.

As a kid, Jackie Chan was a hero of mine. One of the most skilled martial artist in film, he could take any fight and make it jaw-dropping and dangerous, whilst also being able to play for laughs with those punches. They had lightning in a bottle with the odd couple/buddy cop mixture of Jackie with a wise cracking partner. Rush Hour is great (I'd say 2 was the best) but both Shanghai movies are an absolute delight. Watch them immediately if you haven't seen them. I walk through a bit of the movie as a recap, and sprinkle in some historical accuracy that make me smile, nostalgic comments and contributions. 

Yes I was not making it up, there is still scheduled to be a 3rd and final chapter in this legacy franchise. Shanghai Dawn had a confirmed existence back in 2017, and through twitter and some tabloids, the widely held belief currently is that it's still very much alive. Fingers crossed guys, that movie is going to be everything. Jackie and Owen are both due for a comeback anyway, so bring it on. As gets said in the pod, the setting of movie 3 is supposed to be China, showing it off like the Old West from Shanghai Noon. Could be great, I'm on board, though I would have considered a brand new setting altogether. Knights leaves us in England, so most of the world is in reach. If not another European country, perhaps they find themselves headed to Russia before they make it into China. Or perhaps they went south, winding up with British citizenry heading to Africa. Lots of possibilities, better make this into 4 more movies with a 2-part finale movie.

Please let me know if you're aware of a definitively better Chinese noodle than the Shanghai noodle. I'm always here to discuss that. Thanks.


Until next time, cheers! 

Dr. Seuss eat your heart out.

It's podcast time guys, and today is half and half for nerd shit vs. real-life content. I was at a wedding, the official BM of the ceremony if you will. Having been married last year I can safely say attending a wedding is probably more fun than hosting one. Yes, not as special as your own wedding, and it's not for you, but daaamn I had very little to do at this wedding besides have fun. Whereas at my own wedding (and I'm sure at lots of yours) a lot of time was spent running the show, dealing with drama/family, kissing your spouse in front a thirsty crowd banging the table and chanting, etc. Anyway it was a nice time, Mazels to two very special peeps in my life. Besides that just expect more wadding into the dad pool. Lil' Art is every bit as cute as ever, but has become nocturnal and avoids sleeping at night at all costs. So that's fun. Complaints are limited though, as wifey definitely is getting the worse end of the stick.

Let's talk about Pokemon Sun and Moon. I actually hated this show for a while. I caught the first few eps. when it came out, just couldn't get into it. Smoother (some will say "less detailed") animation styles replaced the more line-heavy anime flavor of its predecessors. The unfamiliarity of another cadre of young protagonists did literally nothing to interest me, and I flaked out. But after binge watching it (because it was on in the background, the baby was sleeping, and no one wanted to move) it grew on me. Now this isn't a Stockholm Syndrome type thing. I just came to the realization that there's weird merits to the show.  It's much more self-aware than other previous seasons, allowing for a handful of meta jokes and self referential humor that obviously pays a bit of homage to older viewers. More than that though, the region they are in (Hawaii- I mean "Alola") is totally different from what we've seen. Not just because of the cool island breezes, but this is by far the most dangerous place to be. The humans and Pokemon live much more closely than in the traditionally painted cannon. For example, a gen 1 farm would have pigs/cows/chickens and maybe a Growlithe for protection. In Alola, the farm is Miltanks and any other livestock style creature. Mostly this is fine, but people keep getting attacked by Pokemon. And that's gonna straight up kill someone. It's also a lot of why I watch the show. Most Pokemon irrespective of their type or size, can easily kill a human being with their 4 abilities. Trying to catch a Weedle near you house? Ahh poison sting, guess you're dead. Trying to hike with the family on a local rocky trail? Geodude uses Self Destruct, 16 dead in the area. It's dicey out there.

Anyway, Pokemon is neat. Hopefully I'll be able to catch Detective Pikachu soon, but thanks for listening guys and enjoy the groovy June weather while it lasts.

Cheers!

Welcome to the post-Thrones world. Season 8 has come to an end, and as literally anyone on the internet will tell you; it sucked. Combining the disappointments of tons of abandoned character arcs, complete departure from good writing and some stupid deaths, the show that captured the world's attention will conclude as anticlimactically as possible. You'll hear me rant enough in the podcast, but as per the title here's my theory; obviously we know Jaqen h'ghar can go anywhere and be anyone. So why not an animal like a horse? Perhaps another faceless man is working the bottom half of the "horse costume". Also, that horse belonged to Harry Strickland who led the Golden Company's attempted defense of Kings Landing. So it's very within the realm of possibility that Jaqen could have infiltrated the Golden Company somewhere in Essos. But the most important Easter egg? The reason the white horse remained white, un-burned (mostly) and clean throughout the flames of King's Landing? Because Strickland anything is always clean, efficient and way better than anything Thatherton could make! (King of the Hill fandom runs deep)

Besides all that, I had some ideas for a Fortnite movie. We're going to get one, maybe this year, or next. Ideally while the hype lasts, but studios have never been great at cashing in on-time in that area. I'm pitching ya'll a fast paced, comedic spin on it that will stay very true to the source material, but explore intense and hilarious combat situations that playing 8 seasons has shown me exist. There's bubble vehicles, all kinds of costumes, Blue Juice, treasure seeking, shadow forms, boogie grenades, tons of guns and a hell of a lot more stuff that would turn a regular shoot-em-up movie into something beyond that. A task I believe only  Edgar Wright could get right. Also, climb aboard China, I've been imagining the movie takes place in a somewhat futuristic China, so why not get everybody in on this. Gotta get that yen. 

Oh and I'm a father now, officially. A padre, if you will. My son is wonderful, adorable and a delight. But also an insomniac poop machine. So I get into some of the new thrills and chills of being a dad, with a lot more of that kind of content coming soon.

Thanks for listening guys, keep on trucking (as if you'd ever stop trucking). 

We've reached the end of the game. Welcome back everyone, and if it's not clear; there's going to spoilers galore today. You were warned. 

The Avengers brings to a conclusion the Infinity Saga, effectively the greatest and largest cinematic undertaking of all time. The action was thrilling and absolutely unforgettable. I would say literally "jaw dropping". The characters were all given a time to shine and growth to be demonstrated. Questions were finally answered and interconnections were strengthened retroactively across all of the MCU. I am not ashamed to say I cried several times, and have been struggling with what to do now that I've seen the world's greatest movie. In this pod I delve deep into what I loved the most in Avengers, and if you too were salivating through the parts where Cap wielded Mjolnir, I feel you. There's nothing I've ever experienced like the collective, heightened excitement of that theater full of people. All gasping, crying and laughing the way through a full 3 hour film. I already can't wait to see it again, I can't recommend it enough, and I implore the human race to all go out and catch Endgame whilst we can.

Game of Thrones was no slouch either, and Sunday night's Battle for Winterfel was the height of television fantasy battles. Much like with Endgame, the stakes were high, the body count piled up, and we shed tears for a Stark. If you like zombies, fantasy, castles, human extinction, ice landscapes and dirty/bleeding people, you should check out the episode. If you're someone who is already a Thrones fan, you'll love it. Also like Endgame, GoT wastes no time throwing us into the action from the start. The episode is close to an hour and a half, and it's honestly without any wasted moments. It's brutal, terrifying and really everything we want and expect from Thrones by now. Check it out! 

Also, FortniteXAvengers is still really fun. Definitely the After Eight Mint to the meal that is watching Endgame in theaters. 

Oh you know what's going on this weekend.

Unless you live under an Amish roof, you'll probably  realize that Endgame is finally here. All that wait, buildup and suspense is finally going to be paid off. I get a bit sentimental thinking about how Infinity War made such an impression on me, it pushed me into finally making my podcast. And here we are now for the second part of the dream. Anyway, as you'll hear me rant on about, there's no need to treat this as a review, recommend or warn. "Go see it". Even if you're "not a superhero movie fan" (fucking casuals). There's not been a movie event like this in our lifetime, and I hope everyone gets to experience the hype. My ticket has been burning a hole in my pocket for weeks, so I can't wait for tomorrow. I'll be filling my time well after the movie, because I'm going to take some time for a long, deep dive into the return of *drum roll*... the Avengers x Fortnite crossovers! Oh man, this is/was my jam. I mean, statistically those are the two topics that come up the most on my channel, maybe neck and neck with Batman. Anyway, last time they had the Infinity Gauntlet, and turning into Thanos was delightful. I can't wait to see what's in this LTM, and it's probably the only game mode they could have chosen to replace airplanes in terms of fun. I hope I can land in Tilted and find cool Avengers items, like Colson's bloody trading cards. You know the good stuff. It makes me genuinely happy that these crossovers are a product of the Russo Bros (and several cast members) all actually being huge fans of the game. It's a fun game.

Also, Shazam is such a treat. You'll hear me rave about it in the pod, but just know that it's a fun, exciting movie that's actually a unique take on the superhero tale. Which is hard in this world of content saturation. Spending equal amounts of time between likable new characters and a great villain really set it up to be a fantastic watch. As a Torontonian I delighted in seeing the landmarks, key sights and transit system in film. Especially because through my work I'm starting to work with Toronto location scouting for film and tv, so it's really inspiring. The big red cheese finally made it to the big screen! Also, Mark Strong is fantastic. Someone get him more villain roles.

Lastly let's talk GoT; The Night King cometh, so good luck Winterfell. I can only imagine how awesome this episode is going to be, and it'll probably be a non stop ride until the end of the show. I'll bet you $5 we see a blue-eyed Hodor. 

Have an awesome weekend, take it all in, and most importantly AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! 

Hola. I'll keep it brief today, because this episode is a bit of a departure from the nerd hash I'm usually slinging. I've got about 2 weeks left before my wife is expecting to give birth to our son Arthur (very stoked). And it's also a little under a week before Endgame comes out. I'd say there's sufficient enough stuff going on that it was time to get real. So I'm sharing with ya'll some of my fears, hopes and feels that are coming with Fatherhood.

The bar has been really low for me Dad-wise, and I'll have to go into that in more detail as the days go on. The father you have growing up is a huge impact on your parenting decisions, for better or worse. So I've been escaping to my usual preferred fantasy realms, made easier with Game of Thrones season 8 (FINALLY) arriving. We've got episode 3 coming out this Sunday, and the battle against the Night King has come. It's been hyped to a peak for years now, so let's hope it's glorious. Who am I kidding, it will be. It's pretty much "the convergence" this weekend if you're a Nerd of any caliber or variety.

More lighthearted stuff to come soon, especially because in my darkest hour, an ALL AIRPLANE game mode landed in Fortnite. I'll gush about it in great detail soon, but it's been everything I do when I get home from work. I don't like to toot my "Fortnite skillz" horn, but this is the one game mode that's been an exception. I literally have never lost. Out of about 22 games I've played so far; 17 of those were Air Royals (victories), 4 were 2nd place and the remaining game was a 3rd place. In racing, "placing" is gold, silver or bronze, so I go by that. Get out there and fly some planes my dudes.

Thanks for listening guys, we're literally in the end game now. 

Nah, I'm April foolin'!

Sorry for that deception (or was it click-bait?) but yes, it is April Fools today. I'm going to talk a little bit about how annoying this day makes people, but there'll be legitimate content in there too. Plus I guarantee you didn't know it was Susan Boyle's birthday!  I'll even share from my own sordid past of botched (but well meant) pranks.

At the 24:00 minute mark the podcasts talks about CinemaSins and the awesome content they put out. I'd post their links, but I'm pretty confident in you listeners being able to Google it. They have a great YouTube channel, Podcast, Patreon and pretty much anything else you could have. I love their brand to bits, and they form a sort of Triforce of movie understanding, reviewing and critiquing when those 3 gentlemen get together.  

And if you were living under a rock again this week, take note; Endgame tickets are on sale. And it's utter madness out there. I got up at 4AM to buy me and my group's tickets. I had set a google search notification for keywords like "Endgame + tickets + Toronto" etc. I scanned the news and was a diligent (and obsessed) fan who wanted to watch the movie when it first released. And it breaks my heart to see that there's so many people unable to get tickets because of website crashes, shutdowns etc. But, don't start blaming theaters, the Russo Brothers, or anyone else if you waited until a few days later to get your tickets. Of course they'll be sold out. I mentioned to someone at work I had my tickets, and the annoying response of "oh that's lucky, I couldn't get mine" makes my eye twitch. It's not "lucky" fam, I put the hours and effort in to be ahead of the curve. Gotsta see my Cap, yo. 

Anyway guys, in a perfect world I'd snap my Gauntlet fingers and double the amount of showings and seats available. But unfortunately it is the way it is. And overall this whole exercise has showed me just how much movies are changing. Gone are the days when you can casually show up and expect tickets. You can't even line up 10 hours early to be the first in and grab good seats (as I did for the original Avengers release). It's all online, and it's all becoming a busy nightmare.

Again thanks for listening guys. I'll probably put another episode out in a few days. In the meantime, let's keep fingers crossed for warmer weather. It's April, and I'm not exaggerating that it's still snowing in Toronto! 

Cheers.

Get ready for an ill episode....

I'll stop with the dad jokes now, but in case you missed the point, I'm not feeling too good. I don't usually get sick (one of "those people", I know) but after a brutal Winter, it's inevitable. Also doesn't help when your partner is sick, and you do literally everything together. No blaming though. I have a pretty bad cold, and I made the choice to come to work. I'm not that much of an ass, I'm ensuring minimal germ spread at every chance I get. Including recording in the isolated Turbine Room. I also Purell like a BEAST. But gotta work my dudes. Anyway, expect a stranger voice, some sniffles and pretty sure I cough too. Yeah, enjoy. I hope it's not too bad.

Age of Sigmar (get that title joke now?) is the new brand of Fantasy Warhammer. Smaller, more diverse war-bands have taken the place of the larger, regimental army styles of earlier editions. What's been so interesting is the diversity it affords you in assembling the army. As I get into, my team is a pretty dynamic team up. But will purposefully and respectfully be devoid of Orcs, Wood Elves and Dwarves. I guess you'll have to listen to find out more. I'm a mess today, so this all wound up going to weird places. I only bring up AoS specifically this week because my units arrived, and I can't wait to start building! 

Nonetheless, thanks for listening guys. You're all super. If you're near a Cheesecake Factory, check it out. Not only is the food good, but the titular food is exceptional. I had a s'mores cheesecake, my wife had an awesome one, and even though the menu is overwhelming it's a delicious conundrum.

Happy Thorsday, see you next time. 

It's true! And by the way guys, enjoy the sweet sounds of nothing in this recording as I've moved out of the turbine, and into a space for the requested peace/quiet.

So a very happy Friday to ya'll because this has just felt like the longest week, glad that's over. Just as I started the pod out with; happy St. Patrick's Day! Shout out to my Irish friend Patrick, whom I always think of on the day. This year the weekend will be less "painting the town red" and more painting the kitchen white. True story, new coat. I always had a good time, you get the emerald beer and go ape with the lads. But once you've worked a restaurant, pub, club, etc. you know the gross, unmasked side of the debauchery. Not that it's less fun per say, but definitely puts it into perspective. Try seeing a guy get stabbed at 3AM on your way outta work closing the bar on St. Patty's, puts a dent in stuff. I feel markedly aged considering how slow this years pace will be, though I wasn't really too much of a party boy over the years. I dabbled, but this is nice. 

Last week's episode was a wee bit of a mess, the first part being lost in file corruption and I'm still trying to recover it. But this week, and here specifically I wanted to say some stuff in light of Int. Women's Day. It goes way beyond saying that women deserve absolute equality in every aspect of life and society. I'm absolutely a strong advocate for that, and believe that any first world society should include fairness across the whole spectrum of citizens, irrespective of any denominations. I think women drive our world forward, and should be recognized for achievements thusly, and should always be treated with the same level of respect as their male counterparts. Now, all of that is true. And additionally, let me say that I think Brie Larson is a very talented actress, and I think she plays a very likable character who can fit into the MCU... BUT I didn't like Captain Marvel.

I'm sorry. And as the title suggests, I really don't want to be lumped into the category of people who "hate the movie because _____ woman". That is to say, there's a toxic amount of hate out for this movie, and for Brie (actress not the cheese) for ridiculous sexist, uninformed and bigoted opinions people formulate about it. I don't know why people have a hard time with her, there's tons of girls in the MCU already. And she did a solid job. But look, I'm not in that camp. I'm coming from the place of an OG fan of the MCU, lifetime cinephile and avid comic reader. For a lot of those reasons I found the movie lacking. The story is boring, and feels like it draws way to much from Top Gun/Green Lantern. The pacing often leaves the viewer bored, and it takes a very long time to get to interesting action. Unfortunately the conclusion is lack luster and pretty much only succeeds in the task of introducing Skrulls (crucial for continuing the plot the comics have laid down) into the wider cinematic world. Also, nothing but respect for both the Stan Lee cameo and opening credits. I shed a goddamn single manly tear in that intro. Besides that the movie just gives handjobs to as many "B" and "C" level MCU characters as they can to keep them relevant. But hey, that's what Ronan looked like 6 years ago...neat. Also that cat eh, $20 says he eats the Gauntlet at the end of it all, problem solved. Or he's got like a god-killing laser cannon in his tum tum somewhere.

Thanks for listening guys, let me know what you thought of the movie and enjoy the weekend.
Wear green, or else....

Praise the Throne, it's podcast time!

And throw on your Mechanicus robes because Alita 2 is going full Warhammer 40K. "Blood Angel" as in the Space Marine Chapter, though I'm just using it as a title pun since those guys blow. I obviously have the complete leaked script for Alita 2 (oh yes) and the story definitely confirms that it takes place on an Imperial non-complaint world out there in the expanse. Man, it sure would be something if any of that was true. Alita is adorable, but it's also the first realized look of what a Warhammer movie could be like. As the horse I'll beat to death will tell you, I can't unsee how seamless it would be, not just because of how much common ground the worlds share. There's too many parallels to type up (hence why I record a podcast) but trust me, between the bionic limbs/enhancements, power swords, office of assassins, dirty super city and tech cult of mars, there's certainly enough sources to draw from. But as great as the "Ready Player One" style of animation is, bring me Neill Blomkamp for a Warhammer perspective. The man owns "gritty sci-fi" and there's literally no other way you can portray the grim-dark warscape of the year 40,000.

I made this as an unofficial "part 2" to the previous episode. I had recorded one in the morning as the more general review of Alita among other things, but the 40K segment was going to be too long on its own, so I did it in two. But because I didn't anoint my device, and clearly the Machine Spirit was unruly, my part 1 is corrupted. Literally. "File corrupted, cannot open". So that's great. I'll still be trying to get it to work, but either way expect a new, better episode soon! I'm getting mixed reviews on the background white-noises in my recording area, so I'll try a newer (more silent) room for the next taping. 

I'll be seeing Captain Marvel with the best friend and the wife today, so expect it on the menu for coming content. Speaking of, yesterday I was talking to my wife about the podcast and she drops this gem; "maybe I'll check some more episodes out, how many are there like 7?" Thanks babe, I say whilst posting episode 45.

Spring is around the corner dudes, keep on trucking and it'll be Endgame before we know it.