Was Karl's exit the most unceremonious ever? Was Katie going to the prom with Salazar Slytherin? How many of these grown men are going to get sent to the principal's office by Katie? How badly would Conor B. fail astronaut training? Are the men going to form a forensic unit to decipher the date cards? Is Thomas really as full of it as he seems? Is Colin's antipathy toward Aaron reflective of a deep personal trauma? Is Thomas's true transgression that he is being honest about why they're all really there? Why is Michael a dad while Hunter is just a guy with kids? Does a dead wife beat a dead dad? 

Which crab will the other crabs pull back down into the bucket this week? 

It's episode 3 of Katie's season of The Bachelorette and the producers are pulling the strings.