Dove Talk - Step 4 - Creating Your New Story After Loss

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro Or Recap:

(00:30) Who Is This Assignment Intended For?

(03:08) Required Tools:

(05:45) About Those Memories From The Old Story!

(07:46) Review And Find The “happy”, “feel good”, “besttimes” Type Of Memories.

(08:42) A Word About “feeling the feels”:

(10:40) Review Your Memories

(12:57) Your Homework For This Section:

(14:47) Final Action Step:

(17:09}What’s Next And Follow Up Links

Start ToRebuild Your Inner Life Now And Your Outer Life Will Build Itself!

Hello, hello,hello, Linda M Hughes, Psychic Medium And Grief Coach Here:

If you are viewing this Step 4 Workshop Series being shared now on my YouTube, Spotify or Weekly Blog Digest page for the first time, please go back to the playlist andpull up Assignment #1.  Begin at the beginning for easier, better, quicker success. The general instructions forAssignment #1 apply to this one too, I will re-cap the highlights.

Who Is This Assignment Intended For? Let’s Review Who This “Creating Your New Story – Assignment Series” Is Intended For

As you will see, I was thinking about my own frame of reference when I developed these assignments. And this is that I had wonderful, fantastic relationships with those that I lost.

If this was not the case for you, please do continue to go through the assignments from your perspective. The loss you experienced was still a life-changing event and you will still be needing to create your new story. Modify and focus on theintention of some of my instructions to fit your life experience more closely.

Also, if your “loss” actually refers to things like a job, or a business, or a home, I think the intentions of the instructions on the assignments will still apply, just modify them to fit your circumstances.

Required Tools: Re-Cap

About Those Memories From The Old Story!

The really great thing about memories with your loved ones are that you can access them at any time, in any space or location. The really bad thing about memories with your loved ones are that you can access them at any time, in any space orlocation. ALL memories "bad" or "good", molded and createdyou. This means that each type of memory created certain responses from you. And these responses created behaviors that then created habits that have become your “go to” responses ever since then.

Releasing and retiring the behaviors that are creating havoc in your life right now is outside the scope of this assignment #2. If you find that bad memories are all that you can come up with and these are dragging you down and backwards, pleaseseek professional help from a qualified mental health care professional (ie: psychologist).

Review And Find The “happy”, “feel good”, “best times” Type Of Memories.

A Word About “feeling the feels”:

For this next action step, please “feel the feels” in a safe way that is appropriate for you.

Review Your Memories

Now that you have compiled a list of good, better and best memories with your loved one, do the following with each:

See video, ran out of characters

Your Homework For This Section:

You may find that it is impossible to access a memory, or extract a response in a “study” type of environment. I know I do. So, instead of forcing yourself to do this, try this instead. Ran out of characters, see video

Final Action Step: On a new, pristine, blank separate sheet of paper or document, consider/answer these questions.

What’s Next And Follow Up Links

Ran out of characters - See the 1st comment for links

Timestamps:(00:00) Introduction, how to get more out of assignment(01:54) Required tools for this assignment(03:07) Have your best mindset by creating your "space of grace" (03:47) Ready! Set! Build! Begin the "work" of assignment #1(04:32) Notice of possible trigger point to sidestep(05:08) Assignment #1 work(07:05) Ongoing homework(07:56) Celebrate completion of assignment #1 with clean slate and gather 1st building blocks of your new story(10:38) How to get feedbackHello, hello, hello, this is Linda M Hughes, Psychic Medium and Grief Coach here.It will be impossible to rebuild your inner life while living in a story that no longer exists. And once you rebuild your inner life, your outer life will build itself.

So far, In this playlist, I have been helping you prove that you CAN change your story, and getting mentally prepared to do so.

Today’s video is the first assignment in HOW to create your new story.In the next 5 assignments, we will be: - recognizing that all memories "bad" or "good", molded and created you,- separating & safely storing the memories of your Loved One from the old story,- releasing or retiring parts of your stories that no longer serve you,- deciding what new ideas and dreams you want to add to your next story,- finally bringing all of these things together into the opening pages of your new story.These assignments are offered online for FREE, in YouTube videos, Spotify podcasts, and on my blog in written format. You can access all of these on my Blog Digest at:https://lindamhughespsychicmedium.com/blog-digest-at-linda-m-hughes-psychic-medium/If you want to ask for feedback, make an appointment with me here:https://lindamhughespsychicmedium.com/private-coaching-need-clarity-about-lifes-choices/But what might work better is that you attend anyone of the 4 weekly “Our Place” Community Events, details are listed here:https://lindamhughespsychicmedium.com/our-place-community-at-linda-m-hughes-psychic-medium/

Timestamps:(00:00) Why I Age Protect My Content(00:40) The Purpose Of Step 4 Creating Your New Story After LossHello, hello, hello. This is Linda M Hughes, psychic medium and grief coach here.Except For This Intro Video, All Others Will Be Listed As Mature Content For +18 Years Only, Here Is WhyI believe that those younger than that, who are experiencing the loss of a loved one, will need more sensitivity and guidance than an untended playlist or website can provide. Each family unit has their own frame of reference from which they view the subject of death. I believe that a grieving young person will need the guidance of a parent or legal guardian to see if my frame of reference is compatible with theirs. The purpose of Step 4 is to help you start creating your new story. It will be impossible to rebuild your inner life while living in a story that no longer exists. Tune in to learn about:-your decision point-when to create your new story-why to create itMost importantly, tune in for a step by step breakdown of how to begin to create this story. Thank you for your time today! Love, peace, hope and inspiration to you!

Timestamps:

(00:00 ) Start

(00:30) Why Do You Need & What Is A Space Of Grace

(02:19) Prep To Build/Use Your Space Of Grace

(03:54) Info On Meditation Which Builds Your Space Of Grace

(04:57) The Meditation - Literally How Create Your Space Of Grace

(12:17) How We Will Use Your Space Of Grace

Linda M Hughes psychic medium and grief coach here.

Before Creating Your New Story Let’s Create Your “Space Of Grace” To make this creation process as easy as possible, I have included chapters, so you can skip right to what you need in the recording.

Chapter One:

Why Do You Need A “Space Of Grace”? Simply put, it is a spiritual, physical, emotional and mental “timeout”. When you start thinking about how to create your new story, you may feel overwhelmed. Knowing how to slip into this “space of grace“, allows you to just stop! And then, when ready, you can return to this task from a state of calm.

Everything will go much more smoothly from there. I will ask that you spend the time necessary to enter your “space of grace” before each of the sessions where I will teach you how to “Create Your New Story”.

Once learned, you can use this “space of grace” as that quick “timeout” any time for the rest of your life. What Is A “Space Of Grace”?

To me, a “Space Of Grace” is something that I build in my mind. I go to this space when I need:

1. Unconditional love for myself.

2. Unconditional acceptance of myself at that moment in time.

3. Unconditional respect for who I am and where I have been.

4. And I allow myself to express healthy curiosity, so that I can ask myself the tough questions on why, what, where, when and how to move forward.

CHAPTER 2:

Prepare To Build And/Or Use Your Space Of Grace:

But before we can build or get to your “space of grace”, we have to make sure you are safe physically and mentally. Before you begin this session, please make sure that:1. If you are experiencing a physical health crisis – call 911 immediately2.

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 or click on this link: https://988lifeline.org/3.

You are in a safe place physically, and are able to be warm or cool depending on what your personal preferences will require4. Have healthy snacks available5. Have water available6. You can create a comfortable place to either sit or lay down.

Also try to select a time or a day of the week that will allow you to have as much privacy and quiet as is possible within your life.

CHAPTER 3:

Info on the meditation.

CHAPTER 4:

THE MEDITATION:

The first time you hear or watch this recording, treat it as a guided meditation. Then, after that, review the recording to actually “do” the steps recommended. Once you have learned how to build your own “space of grace”, you will no longer need the recording. Also, you will no longer have to go through the elaborate physical preparation we have gone through today. As it becomes more comfortable through repetition, you will be able to go into and out of it quickly, smoothly and anywhere.

CHAPTER 5: Recap:

You have now created your first “space of grace”, you now know what it feels like, so you can recreate it when needed.

This will be very important in the future, because it won’t always be practical to spend this much time calling it up. But with practice, you will teach yourself how to quickly slip into it, how to benefit from time spent there and then how to release it with the reverence due to yourself.I will ask you to enter your “space of grace” when I start teaching you how to do “Step 4: Create Your New Story”.

Until then, I send you love, peace, hope and inspiration.

For help with a Mental Health crisis call 988 or clink this link here:https://988lifeline.org/

When Is The Right Time To Create Your New Story After Loss Of A Loved One?

Hello, hello, hello, Linda M Hughes psychic medium andgrief coach here. 

Let’s Review:

1.   “Your Story” means more than daily task about “what you do”, “how you do it”, and/or with whom. 

2.   The outside cover of your story was fashioned by your ancestors, all of whom contributed to your core ethics, beliefs and values.  These things built the foundation of thestories you have told since.

3.   Chapters have been written by adults in your life before you had the ability to set pen to paper.

4.   Your early years as a child created valuable lessons that you scribbled into the margins of the chapters written by those adults.

5.   Then you took control of the pen, typewriter, desktop, laptop and then the smartphone, becoming more adept of this story writing than ever before.

6.   You became so good at it, that you might have already written sequels to the original, or maybe even an entire life long running series of books. 

7.   And then, you lost a major character in your story, bringing the whole book to an end.

While struggling with the loss of this loved one, you shelved the story, because you could not do anything else.  One day you awoke and realized it was time to do something other than struggle.  You needed to do something else.  If you havenot read, listened to or watched The Decision Point, please take a break and view it now.  I will leave links to thatin the comment section with this information.

If your decision was to create something new, then you maybe ready to begin creating your new story. 

Making this decision has nothing to do with the amount of time that has passed.  There is no wrong time, only theright time.  It may take you weeks, months or even years to be at that right time. You will know when you have arrived, because you are now a “Stranger In Your Old Story”, or the one you are stuck in right now.  At this point, and as you begin thinking about the preface to your new story, you may want to first check out Step 3 – which is all about Reconnecting With Yourself. I will include links to both in the comment section.❤️

Creating Your New Story:

1.   Is intentional, on purpose, planned, and edited by you until you choose to change course and write a sequel or the next in the series.  But even this choice will be intentional, done on purpose and planned/edited.

2.   It will include the most important and beneficial lessons brought forward from your ancestors, your family life, and all of your life experiences.  These things all contributed to the wonderful person that is now “YOU”. 

3.   It will include what is important and worthy of your time now and in your future.

4.   It will be a book that you will be able to take pride, joy and happiness in dreaming up, writing about and living within. 

Not when, but on the day you decide to begin, pleasecontact me through these recordings or on my website.  When I reached my Decision Point, I developed a 5 week course to create my new story. 

I then finetuned it and now offer it to you in 5 private or small group online sessions, as well as in a 5 week self-directed course that can be done on your time, from your own home.

I am thrilled to offer this to you, so stay tuned for more!  And as always, love, peace, hope and inspiration to you this day.  Thank you for your time. 

I created a way to do it for myself - and it worked! Now I want to share it with you.
Let's start here:

In great excitement, I wrote out a plan and instructions for myself, finetuning it as I experimented.  Later on it became Step 4 of my signature workshops in "Rebuilding Your Inner Life After Loss". It is Step 4 NOT Step 1, because Iwouldn't have been ready for this immediately after their losses. If you find that you ARE ready, don't worry about the number, just jump in with full energy and anticipation and get started!

In the first few years, I told the story of my loss over andover and over again. At first, I had to tell:

-their loved ones, friends & business associates,

-those involved in their legal, financial and business lives.

 Then I told it to myself as a way to:

-remember them out loud,

-remind myself that they had not been a figment of myimagination.

 Then, I told the story:

-to hide behind it,

-to use it as a crutch,

-to shield me from life in general.

Because, what I realized in telling this story of loss over and over again, meant that I didn’t have to face my ultimate truth. And that truth was that when my loved ones died, I no longer had a story of my own.

 For 27 years I had been a mom to my incredible son.  For 44 years I had been the wife of my wonderful husband.  I was and still am the mom to my brilliant daughter and I am still alive. 

But all of my dreams had been tied to the 3 of them.  All of my goals had been anchored around their lives.  And now 2 of them were gone.  And I worried that if I didn’t get it together, my active, vibrant relationship with my daughter would begin to suffer. 

But, what if, how do I, I am scared, I can’t…

Or can I? 

And then I did… I created a new story, it is a multi chapter, fluid work in progress.  And I would love to share how I did it and help you safely and with reverence close the book on your old story and begin to write a new one. 

 If you have questions, need more clarification or would like to talk about these things, please:
-Start by commenting below or:

-Sign up and attend an “Our Place” Community get-together

-or Schedule a private session from my website

 But what I would really like you to do is to:

-Sign up for a FREE 1 hour group session with me & no more than 4 others! Those 4 could be family, friends,neighbors. It may also be someone new to you that has signed up from the site.

- I will share a synopsis of the work to be done in each of the private 5 week sessions,
- or during the 1 Day 5 hour long Small Group Intensive held one Saturday of the month.
- you can introduce yourself,
- share a little bit of your story
- and ask your questions!

If you got something out of this recording, please comment, like, share and subscribe for free. This will help me reach others that want to start creating their new story. Also, please stop by my website to learn more about this Step 4 as well as Steps 1 – 3 in my Rebuild Your Inner Life After Loss Program. I will leave the link in the comments below. Thank you in advance.

This is Linda M Hughes, psychic medium and grief coach. As you start to get used to carrying around the weight of the loss of your Loved One, you realize that your “life before loss” will never return. You can’t go back, but you also can’t go forward… with those old plans and dreams.

Totally crushed by this realization, I came face to face with what I call my Decision Point. I felt like I had 3 choices:

- stop the clock, forever tapping replay on every memory of my life up to that point of loss

- give up, give in & fade away, letting the clock simply run out until I too am gone

- or, I could get a new improved clock, honoring my Loved Ones by rebuilding my inner life, & dreaming new dreams.

I Decided To Rebuild My Inner Life.

My decision point arrived at about one year into grieving my husband and grieving my son for 4. While taking a life coaching class, an instructor posed this statement to our class, "You are NOT your story," For days, I was so botheredby that statement, it was shaking things loose in the back of my mind.

"Are you your story?" "Well, of course I am", I thought tomyself. Who else could I be?

And if this were not true, then who was I... or more importantly, who could I be, or become?

This moved to the front of my mind and a week or so later I had a EUREKA type moment. The Eureka moment was when I realized that I was NOT my current story,. I realized that this right here was the first step in starting over. It was also from agreat place of strength and power. Using myself as an example, I am more than the mother, wife, daughter, sister or aunt of my 6 deceased loved ones. I was still and am a living, vibrant contributor to the world at large AND to myself in particular.

And the next step in rebuilding my inner life was to remember this! I needed to close this chapter and write a new one. For the 1st time in my life, I cried for ME. I cried for that lovely person I had been as a mother, wife, daughter, sister and aunt. I cried for the very loss of my own self as I had cried for those that I had lost. And as my tears dried, I aughed deep belly laughs in anticipation of taking all the great parts of old me into a chapter of the new me. And I know my 6 loved ones were cheering me on from the other side!

Action 1: At Your Decision Point, What Will Your Choice Be? This will be a very private, personal decision that will be honored by myself and all others within this Community. To proceed with the remaining Action Steps, this decision mustalready be made by you. Reach out to me for a private coaching session if you would like help making this decision. And please know that everyone reaches decision points in THEIR time, and that will be perfect for you!

I will add a new post to this playlist every 4th week on Wednesday mornings.

If you have questions, need more clarification or would like to talk about these things, please:
Start by commenting below or:

-Sign up and attend an “Our Place” Community get-together -or Schedule a private session from my website

 But what I would really like you to do is to:

-Sign up for a FREE 1 hour group session with me & no more than 4 others! Those 4 could be family, friends,neighbors. It may also be someone new to you that has signed up from the site.

In this session:

- I will share a synopsis ofthe work to be done in each of the private 5 week sessions,
- or during the 1 Day 5 hour long Small Group Intensive held one Saturday of the month.- you can introduce yourself,- share a little bit of your story- and ask your questions!

 If you got something out of this recording, please comment, like, share and subscribe for free. This will help me reach others that want to start creating their new story. Also, please stop by my website to learn more about this Step 4 as wellas Steps 1 – 3 in my Rebuild Your Inner Life After Loss Program. I will leave the link in the comments below. Thank you in advance.

This is Linda M Hughes, psychic medium and grief coach. The purpose of this podcast will be to talk about step 4 in rebuilding your inner life after loss – and is all about helping you to start creating your new story.

It will be impossible to rebuild your inner life while living in a story that no longer exists.

First, I will help you prove that you CAN change your story, then, I will help you get started!

We will personalize strategies & then begin by:

- Separating & safely storing the memories of your Loved One from the old story

- Recognizing that all memories "bad" or "good", molded and created you,

- And now, some of them may need to be released or retired,- To give you the hope, inspiration and freedom to now create the 1st pages of your new story.

Action steps will include:

-Facing your own Decision Point

-Share about how I started creating my new story

-Learning when it is best for you to start creating your new story

-And then getting step by step guidance as you begin to write your new story.

I will add a new post to this playlist every 4th week on Wednesday mornings.

If you have questions, need more clarification or would like to talk about these things, please:-Start by commenting below or:

-Sign up and attend an “Our Place” Community get-together

-or Schedule a private session from my website

 But what I would really like you to do is to:

Sign up for a FREE 1 hour group session with me & no more than 4 others! Those 4 could be family, friends, neighbors. It may also be someone new to you that has signed up from the site.

In this session:

- I will share a synopsis of the work to be done in each of the private 5 week sessions,
- or during the 1 Day 5 hour long Small Group Intensive held one Saturday of the month.
- you can introduce yourself,
- share a little bit of your story
- and ask your questions!

If you got something out of this recording, please comment, like, share and subscribe for free. This will help me reach others that want to start creating their new story.

Also, please stop by my website to learn more about this Step 4 as well as Steps 1 – 3 in my Rebuild Your Inner Life After Loss Program. I will leave the link in the comments below. Thank you in advance.