Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

Psychological abuse is common and yet few understand the psychological abuse definition enough to spot it. Without the visible signs of physical abuse, psychological abuse can stay hidden for years. Psychological abuse, though, can be just as devastating as physical abuse. Psychological abuse can affect your inner thoughts and feelings as well as exert control over your life. You may feel uncertain of the world around you and unsafe in your own home. Psychological abuse can destroy intimate relationships, friendships and even your own relationship with yourself. Psychological abuse also applies to children and may impair their development into a healthy adult. Tune in and learn how to identify and stop psychological abuse!

Living alone is a modern phenomenon. For most of history, very few people lived alone. In the U.S., even as recently as 1960, only 7 million people lived alone; they accounted for just 13 percent of all households. By 2020, more than five times as many Americans were living alone, 36.2 million. Of course, the entire population was growing, but even as a proportion of all households, the rate of living alone had more than doubled, to 28 percent. Now, if you were to knock on any door at random in the U.S., you would be more likely to find a person living alone than a nuclear household of mom, dad, and kids. Studies of dozens of countries all around the world show a similar trend. In the decades since 1960, the proportion of people living alone has been on the rise. That’s in part because of another global phenomenon—the rise of single people and the decline of marriage. But it’s not only that; historically, unmarried people (widowed, divorced, or always single) were more likely to live with other people than to live on their own. Tune in and learn all about being single!

We all make mistakes, and we do so with regularity. Some errors are small, such as, “No, we don’t need to stop at the store; there’s plenty of milk left for breakfast. Some are bigger, such as, “Don’t rush me; we have plenty of time to get to the airport before the flight leaves.” And some are crucial, such as, “I know it was raining and dark, but I’m sure that was the man I saw breaking into the home across the street.” No one enjoys being wrong. It’s an unpleasant emotional experience for all of us. The question is how do we respond when it turns out we were wrong—when there wasn’t enough milk left for coffee, when we hit traffic and missed the flight, or when we find out the man who sat in jail for five years based on our identification was innocent all along? Tune in and learn how to deal with these crazy makers!

Debates over how to parent are as old as parenting itself. The truth is Good Enough is all we can strive for. In the recent past, we've seen the Tiger Mom, who threatened to burn her daughter's stuffed animals if she didn't play a piano piece correctly. American parents' overindulgence, she said, was why Chinese mothers are superior. Here in the U.S., advocates of attachment parenting recommend co-sleeping and baby-wearing, while others believe babies need to learn how to self-soothe (that is, cry alone) once they are 4 months old. But attitudes, values, and work ethic - arguably just as important—are more closely tied to parenting. At the very least, parents (especially mothers) know they will be blamed if their kids don't turn out right. Tune in and learn what not to do to mess up. your kids!

Sometimes the stressors of the modern world make us just want to scream. The constant bombardment of negative news and our continual connection to our technological devices can make us feel trapped, with a strong desire to escape. Perhaps we just need some time alone to heal and nurture ourselves. When we have this feeling, it might be that our minds and souls are sending us messages. We’re being reminded that it’s time to step away and indulge in some self-care. Tune in and learn healthy and unhealthy escapism and all the benefits it brings us!

It’s impossible to go through life without causing hurt to those people we love. We may have to do this for their own good—for instance, when we need to be firm with a child who we believe is engaged in destructive behaviours. We may inflict pain on another person when we need to do what is right for us, such as leaving a relationship. Most of us feel bad about inflicting hurt and might stay in situations way too long for fear of hurting our loved ones. But some people go through life causing a great deal of hurt to other people, including romantic partners and even their own children. They might fall under the label of narcissistic or borderline personality types. But putting the labels to one side for a bit, why do people repeatedly hurt other people in this way? Tune and and learn how to deal with and understand these sick lost souls who use love as a place to torture their loved ones!

Many female psychopaths seek to destroy others however they can. A female psychopath may undermine your self-esteem using innuendo, or bully you and turn friends and family against you by poisoning your reputation behind your back. There is no end to what she might do to shatter your life. Many female psychopaths are pathological liars who are more cunning and manipulative than male psychopaths. The female psychopath desires to be the center of attention and demands center stage. Listen closely to her style of speech—how she also manages to play the victim. She may shed crocodile tears to play on your sympathy, and the next moment her tears can transform into raucous laughter. Her personality turns on and off like a neon sign. Tune in and learn how to spot them and deal with them!

Suicide often stems from a deep feeling of hopelessness. The inability to see solutions to problems or to cope with challenging life circumstances may lead people to see taking their own lives as the only solution to what is really a temporary situation, and most survivors of suicide attempts go on to live full, rewarding lives. Depression is a key risk factor for suicide; others include psychiatric disorders, substance use, chronic pain, a family history of suicide, and a prior suicide attempt. Impulsiveness often plays a role among adolescents who take their life. (To learn more about risk factors, see Mental Health or Social, Economic, and Genetic Influences.) If a person deemed at risk due to any of the above exhibits sudden mood changes—even a suddenly upbeat mood—or completely new behaviors, they may be actively suicidal. Those who speak about being a burden to others, having no reason to live, feeling trapped, or in unbearable pain may also be contemplating suicide. (To learn more about warning signs of suicide, see Signs That Someone Is Contemplating Suicide.)  Statistically, suicide occurs most frequently among people ages 45 to 54. Women are more likely than men to attempt suicide; men are more likely than women to complete the act. TUne in a figure out where you stand on the suicide spectrum and what the consequences are for those who love you!

When your marriage is in trouble, you don't have any options without pain or sacrifice. You can divorce, separate, stay in the marriage, or get creative and change the marital rules. Each option has trade-offs. Everyone knows that divorce is extremely difficult on many fronts. Not only is it a tremendous loss (loss of stability, loss of a partner, loss of a dream, loss of a sense of family), but it can be quite challenging financially and socially. This is especially true when the couple has children. For this reason, many couples choose to avoid the drastic disruption and drop off in the standard of living of breaking up. Instead, they stay together and tough it out. This alternative has its own set of consequences such as having to suffer in an unhappy—or sometimes even unbearable—situation, feeling like a fraud, not being true to yourself, and having a sense that life is simply passing you by. Tune in and learn how to process through this gigantic emotional decision!

Because narcissists operate in an ‘all about me’ fashion, the world revolves around them, their needs and desires. They continue to be selfish and expect others, including their children, to cater to them. So, when their child does well, they take credit and brag about the child, and when the child struggles, they blame the child or others for it. They are controlling and they readily induce guilt in their children. They tend not to offer much by way of emotional support and validation, and the child quickly learns that the parent’s goals are important whereas their own goals are not. This is frequently because the parent is living their own lives through the child and the child’s accomplishments.” Tune in and learn what it is like to raise yourself and the impact!