Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

We all have to face it at some point; an event of such enormity that it can make everything else in our lives seem insignificant: death, the end of our existence, our departure from this world.We live in a culture that denies death. We’re taught that death is something we should shy away from, and try to forget about. If we start contemplating our own mortality – so this traditional wisdom goes – we’ll become anxiousand depressed. And there’s no doubt that this is often the case.In psychology, Terror Management Theory suggests that a large part of all human behaviour is generated by unconscious fear of death. This fear generates a fundamental anxiety and unease, which we try to offset with behaviour such as status-seeking or strongly defending the values of our culture. We feel threatened by death and so seek security and significance to defend ourselves against it. Tune in about facing death!

One of the fundamental laws of social psychology is the reciprocity principle. When we pay back what we receive from others in social situations, we are engaging in reciprocity. If I do you a favor, there’s a reasonable probability that you’ll do me a favor in return. Social-emotional reciprocity is the back and forth interaction that takes place in communication. We take a social approach to have conversations with others, and we share our interests in our discussions. Part of that social-emotional reciprocity is knowing how and when to initiate or respond to others’ social interactions. Tune in and learn how important emotional reciprocity is to balancing our lives.

There are two types of people, those who contribute and those who detract. You must learn that the best way to build your career and your life is through your own achievements, not by attacking the achievements of others. People will always remember what type of person you are, and they will trust or distrust you accordingly. Seldom have I heard words that were truer or more genuinely wise. People who have only criticism to offer are soon forgotten—those who contribute in a constructive way become part of history. This admonition applies not only to how we conduct ourselves, it has important implications for how we choose our friends and those we choose to trust. In planning the course of your life, surround yourself with those who are kind and supportive in presence and possess a good heart. Above all things, avoid those people with toxic personalities. Tune in a learn how to identify and deal with toxic people.

A person who steals things that he already owns, can easily afford, or does not want or need can be baffling. Mental health professionals may think that his stealing can be explained by a psychological disorder. The habitual thief may appear to suffer from a compulsion (“kleptomania”). He may be seen as resorting to stealing as a way to “feel better” while coping with depressionor adverse circumstances over which he has no control. Perhaps a person steals to boost his self-esteem. Cheating is a pattern of behavior, but it also comes along with certain thought patterns. And while infidelity is talked about so often, it can feel like there isn't much insight invested into the psychology behind why people stray outside of their relationships. But discovering how cheaters think can provide insight into much more than their desire for sex, and can answer some questions about why so many people can break a promise. Tune in and learn all about Liars, Cheaters and people who Steal!

Developmental psychology is the branch of psychology that focuses on how people grow and change over the course of a lifetime. Those who specialize in this field are not just concerned with the physical changes that occur as people grow; they also look at the social, emotional, and cognitive development that occurs throughout life. Change is inevitable. As humans, we constantly grow throughout our lifespans, from conception to death. Psychologists strive to understand and explain how and why people change throughout life. While many of these changes are normal and expected, they can still pose challenges that people sometimes need to manage. Developmental psychologists work with people of all ages to address roadblocks and support growth, although some choose to specialize in a specific age group such as childhood, adulthood, or old age. Tune in and learn how changes in development can tear our lives apart later on.

From eccentric and introverted to boisterous and bold, the human personality is a complex and colorful thing. Personality refers to a person's distinctive patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving. It derives from a mix of innate dispositions and inclinations along with environmental factors and experiences. Although personality can change over a lifetime, one's core personality traits tend to remain relatively consistent during adulthood. Tune in and learn how personality turns to character!

If you’re like most people, you figure you’ll get married once—maybe twice—in your entire life.However, if you’re a serial monogamist (a person who engages in repeated serious relationships, one after the other), you might marry three, four, five or more times during your life.But what drives someone to become a serial monogamist? Do they begin with psychological issues, or do they simply end up with them?As several studies have shown, people who marry several times in rapid succession are more likely to experience psychological distress, regardless of gender, age or ethnicity. Statistics show that across the United States, 5 percent of people who have been married at least once have actually been married three times or more.

When we think of people being dramatic – or in this case, overly dramatic - we think of them making much of their appearance before others.  They enjoy feeling and displaying emotions.  They have a taste for tension-filled scenes.  They want others to know how they are interpreting a situation and how it is affecting them.  The only thing that matters, or so it seems, is what is happening now.  Dares, tantrums, and ultimatums reign.  Life becomes operatic. Certain situations can magnify these inclinations.  So can certain stages of life.  Young people have what Erik Erikson called gangling minds and bodies.  They have not worked out the countless behavioral strategies they will need for successful social functioning.  Physical and emotional challenges sometimes overwhelm them.  They commonly occupy low social positions that make them victims of much that happens.  They face many issues and challenges for the first time. Tune in and learn!

Although many people use the two words guilt and shame interchangeably, from a psychological perspective, they actually refer to different experiences. Guilt and shame sometimes go hand in hand; the same action may give rise to feelings of both shame and guilt, where the former reflects how we feel about ourselves and the latter involves an awareness that our actions have injured someone else. In other words, shame relates to self; guilt to others. I think it's useful to preserve this distinction, even though the dictionary definitions often blur it.b Tune in and learn how to put these unhealthy traits into place!

Unfortunately, we’re often taught that being an outsider is a “bad” thing, and no wonder — biologically we are made to stay within the safe confines of our species’ groups. But there comes a moment in life where “playing by the book” is seen to be a miserable and unfulfilling absurdity. Just look at all those people who followed the rules, got a good career, wife, children, solid salary, socially-approved status … and ended up miserable, empty, lonely, killing themselves, or dying prematurely due to stress-related illnesses. I’m sure you know one, or a dozen. So while being an outsider may seem isolating, it is actually profoundly beneficial for your life. I wish everyone had the opportunity to feel like an outsider because being an outsider is a catalyst for self-fulfillment, self-mastery, and self-realization. Tune in and figure out how to be an outsider and comfortable with that!