Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

It’s always difficult to hear your children yelling or sobbing that they don’t want to go to school. You may be even more sensitive to their reluctance and anxiety because of what an unpredictable place school has felt like for the past two years. So, what do you do when you have scrambled to get all your kids’ school supplies and clothes ready for school only to find that you now must coax them to get there? How do you coach 50 pounds or more of pure resistance to leave the house? Tune in and learn all about how to get your kids back in school!

What makes friendship in marriage a potential benefit is that you will need to have someone you can talk to and fight alongside when life gets tough. And the ideal combination is a spouse with whom you share your life plans and the best buddy all in one. Best friends can talk about everything together, console each other, support one another, and help find solutions. While we are contemplating why one should marry their best friend, it is apparent that you wonder how many people actually end up marrying their best friend? Tune in and learn all about what makes best friends, our expectations and our differences!

What, exactly, is apathy? In a sense, it’s something like falling in love. You can describe it all you want, but until you’ve experienced it, you can only guess what it feels like. Paradoxically, what makes the feeling of apathy unique is that it’s essentially the feeling of not feeling. It’s something that at some point in your existence you’ve encountered. Whenever you feel that something vital is missing from your life, yet lack the drive to pursue it, you’re afflicted with this curiously “emotionless” emotion. Tuen in and learn how to identify and work through the weight of apathy!

When you take things personally, you allow many issues to consume your well-being. This way of thinking exhausts your energy with little good and a lot of stress and anxiety. The amount of worry, anger, and suffering you experience in your life is proportional to your sense of self-importance. Whatever you include as part of “me” or “mine” is part of the ego’s domain. The ego causes you to seek pleasure and avoid pain. It is driven by short-term gratification and avoids long-term fulfillment. Controlled by the ego, you crave the material rewards this world has to offer, and, at the same time, you fear losing what you’ve obtained. The ego in the context of this post refers to a person's sense of self-importance, identification, or attachment. The problem is that when we become attached to who we think we are and then try to convince others that this is who we are as well, we create a prison for ourselves. The ego can present challenges in various aspects of life. Tune in and learn how to manage this delicate source of strength!

People who have borderline personality disorder tend to have more tumultuous, chaotic romantic relationships. Such relationships are often marked by stress, conflict, and dysfunction. Some of the ways that BPD can manifest in a relationship include: Oscillating between excessive demands for attention and a sudden withdrawal Severe fear of abandonment that leads to needy, clingy behaviors Lying and deception, often caused by the distorted perceptions people with BPD may hold. Impulsive sexuality and other sexual problems. The more severe these symptoms are, the more significantly they impact a relationship. This can lead to problems maintaining relationships. Evidence suggests that people who have BPD tend to have a higher number of romantic relationships because their symptoms make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. Tune in and learn how to be married to these crazy makers!

While some partnerships are beyond repair—whether it’s due to infidelity or emotional abuse—other couples call it quits at the first sign of conflict, but they miss out on an opportunity to resolve anything. Before making your decision, it’s important to try salvaging the marriage and working through your issues (we recommend seeing a marriage counselor). Since both of you play a role in the relationship, doing the inner work is also a necessary step. That said, if you’ve tried everything to restore your marriage, but still, nothing has changed, a divorce might be inevitable.  Regardless of your circumstances, if you’ve been asking yourself if your marriage is failing, there are several telltale signs that signal it’s time to end it. Tune in and learn all about pondering divorce!

Trauma is a person’s emotional response to a distressing experience. Few people can go through life without encountering some kind of trauma. Unlike ordinary hardships, traumatic events tend to be sudden and unpredictable, involve a serious threat to life—like bodily injury or death—and feel beyond a person’s control. Most important, events are traumatic to the degree that they undermine a person's sense of safety in the world and create a sense that catastrophe could strike at any time. Parental loss in childhood, auto accidents, physical violence, sexual assault, military combat experiences, the unexpected loss of a loved one are commonly traumatic events. Tune in and learn how to recognize trauma and work through it!

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a disruptive behavior disorder that emerges during childhood or adolescence and is characterized by persistent angry or irritable mood, unruly and argumentative behavior, and vindictiveness. It frequently manifests in hostility toward authority figures. All children display defiant behavior at some point, especially when tired or stressed. Oppositional behavior is in fact normal in toddlers and in early adolescents. The behavior of a child with ODD is much more extreme and disruptive than normal, however, and occurs much more frequently than the type of childhood stubbornness and rebellion that children may display over the course of development. The oppositional behavior of ODD is not only persistent but occurs across a wide array of situations and interferes with children’s social, family, and educational life. Give yourself a break and tune in and learn how to identify and manage Oppositional Defiance Disorder!

You’re sick and tired of all the dating apps and websites and trying to meet people in your kickball league? And how many awkward first dates can you go on to find a “normal” person? And what’s with all the fake personalities and flaky people who seem more interested in themselves and can’t be bothered to make a slight change in their schedule to, you know, go out with you? If this describes the majority of your romantic life, I want you to open up your mind a little and start looking at things a little differently from now on. First, consider this: everyone wants a perfect partner, but few people want to be the perfect partner. I think the vast majority of problems around “finding someone” are caused by uneven expectations like this. But when you flip this on its head and you start taking a little more responsibility in this area of your life—when you start focusing on what kind of life you want to live and what kind of partner you want to be—you’ll start to see all the flakes and narcissists and liars fade into the background. You’ll start making genuine connections with people and make each other’s lives more enjoyable. Tune in and learn how to find that special person in your life!

The severity of midlife crisis symptoms can vary from person to person. Gender can also play a role in how a midlife crisis unfolds. Women may be more likely to go through a period of self-reflection as they shift away from tending to the needs of others to tending to their own needs. Men, on the other hand, might be more likely to feel as if their past decisions have limited their future options. Tune in and learn how to navigate this crazy period of life!