After receiving the law code in Leviticus, Yahweh sends his favorite people toward the promised land... and then tries to kill them every step of the way. Oh, and there are giant demigods as well.

The entire (boring) book of Leviticus in a single episode recorded inside a Christian chapel in Portage, Wisconsin. Can Yahweh count to 6? Are bats a type of bird? Do rabbits chew cud? Is it worse to sleep with your cousin or your sister? What the heck is "Alien Fire"? Yahweh answers your most important questions that you never thought to ask.

Remember when Yahweh built a golden calf and then punished the people for it? Wait, you thought it was the people who made the calf? Better go back and read that chapter again. And also catch up on the Moses with horns, the flesh hooks, some child sacrifice, and the intrusion of Egyptian mystery cults into Yahweh worship. And absolutely zero talk about how Moses is similar to Dionysus.

What are we allowed to do? What must we never do? Well we can never cook a young goat in its mother's milk, that's for certain but slavery is still kosher. As for the rest, it's all here in this episode. All the rules that are part of Yahweh's covenant with Israel including the second draft that drifts into strange waters.

You asked, I answered. God, the Devil, Santa, Dating Sims, and a little girl lost in the woods.

Pack your bags and grab your unleavened bread, we're departing the land of plenty and marching into the land where people die of dehydration and starvation. But never fear, our Lord is here! He'll give us everything we need, provided we don't upset him in any way. Then he might kill us horribly.

It's time for Passover. Grab your goats, don't leaven the bread, and spatter some blood about to protect your children from death deities. Oh, and there might be some divine cannibalism involved.
It's a god eat god world out there and I'm wearing unleavened bread underwear... or something like that.

Yahweh sets up Pharaoh for failure and even refuses to allow the Israelites to be freed so he can enact his master plan which includes turning all the dirt in the world into lice, turning all the water into blood (except for the water that was overlooked), and worst of all... FROGS!

Mosessss... just killed a man.
Put a rock upside his head.
Buried in the sand and now he's dead.

If you want to build a Jewish lawgiver, you'll need one part Akkadian king, a Babylonian conqueror, a pinch of Egyptian miracles, two pounds of Semitic invaders, and a touch of Egyptian monotheism. Mix well and bake for several centuries until golden-calf brown... or until people believe it's true. Let cool and serve on two stone tablets.