Driven 2 Thrive: Purpose, Growth, and Lasting Impact For Men

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Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man!

I am not perfect, I don’t have answers, but I am on a journey just like you, maybe we can help each other.

On today’s Show: we are talking about kids and technology with our special guest “Dave McCarter” from @commonmanocr. Dave has over 20 years of experience and education in the IT industry and he also has almost 20 years’ experience working with teenagers as a youth minister. He brings a unique perspective and insight into today’s show. We are going to talk about how technology is impacting kids today as they grow up physically, emotionally, socially and mentally. This episode will be a 2 part episode so be sure and catch the second half next week in Episode 18.

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Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man!

I am not perfect, I don’t have answers, but I am on a journey just like you, maybe we can help each other.

On today’s show we are talking about the all too common horrible advice of “Do what you love” We will talk about why this is a horrible idea. What you should do instead. Stick around to the end and get to the bottom line of why that is horrible advice.

If you believe in what we are doing here and want to be a part of it head over to Patron directly or the link through my website. Our Supports have direct input on our content and what we are doing from here.

I hear this all the time on TV, social media and in every bright eyed up and comer. Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life. Confucius said it first as far as I know but it has been parroted by millions of people throughout the years. It is actually more possible to make that work than ever before in history. We have found new and creative ways to monetize things that have never made money before. The internet era is amazing and it is still crap advice

1. The first reason this is stupid advice is the fact that it does not account for age and time
2. The Second reason this is stupid advice, the world is fickle. Markets change, platforms change and fads change.
3. The third reason it is stupid advice, What happens when it fails, what now?
4. Create a Plan – Yes, I want you to love your life and be happy. I also want you to have a roof over your head and
5. Implement the plan – Find an employer (for now) that can use your Primary job skill and go to work for them. You will build expertise and hands on experience making you more valuable in this role. This is earned income
6. Start building and grow your side hustle.

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The Audio is a little wonky, still very listenable to. Had a problem with my recording that day.

Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man! 

I am not perfect, I don’t have answers, but I am on a journey just like you, maybe we can help each other.

On today’s Show: How to Instantly Look More Confident. Everyone wants to portray confidence whether you are trying to impress someone socially or professionally. In general we want to appear confident because it also makes you safer; people are less likely to challenge someone who appears confident. Stick around to the end for a helpful tip on how to execute our suggestions more effectively.

Body talking Points:

• SLOW, LANGUID MOVEMENTS: 

• When you move slowly & comfortably you subtly communicate to other people that you do not feel scared & pressured. That is perceived as confidence. 

• Big Fast Movements can also be confident, but you have to evaluate what you would do if intimidated and move away from that. 

• Move at a pace that is self-determined over what than environment determines

• I.E.       Pray movement versus Predator movement

If you’re getting something out of this be sure and like, subscribe and share this content with you friends ad if you’re on YouTube hit the little Bell Icon

• BE COMFORTABLE TURNING Your BACK ON OTHERS: 

1. The person who ends the conversation & walks away usually the one with more power in a given situation. Let’s note that this only works if you ”End” the conversation, not if you ”pout” or throw a fit and walk away.
2. Showing your back communicates that you are not concerned or threatened by their presence – Go back to the prey predator scenario, lions and crocodiles don’t worry about prey animals being all around them.
3. But don’t be a jerk either, this movement used incorrectly will communicate to people that you do not consider them valuable or worthy of your time. For Example when someone enters a room stand up head on, shake their hand and greet them. This conveys confidence whereas ignoring them makes you look bad.

• CONFIDENT PEOPLE CAN AFFORD TO HANDICAP THEMSELVES: 

1. You can do this by being more honest especially where you think it might set you back socially. 
2. Comfortably presenting what others would see as a vulnerability or fault nonchalantly makes you seem to not be concerned about how others view you.
3. Don’t over play this and throw it out as useless and out of context times.
4. For Example: if you have a goofy or different hobby that you think other people might judge, you’re often better off speaking about it with enthusiasm rather than downplaying it if it comes up or is asked about.

• EXTREME NON-Reactivity

1. When we see people easily succumb to the emotion of a situation or people around them and react emotionally because of it, it makes them look unstable and easily manipulated.
2. When we see people who are resilient & their demeanor is not affected by the emotional or environmental stimuli we see stability.
3. Calm people who are not easily triggered are seen as more confident & capable. Whatever is coming at them that they can handle. 
4. Build up an internal calm so you are not always in constant reaction to the world.

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Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man!

I am not perfect, I don’t have answers, but I am on a journey just like you, maybe we can help each other.

On today’s Show: 10 Pitfalls Every Man Should Avoid on his journey to be the best version of himself and achieve his goals and dreams. Stick around to the end for the most destructive pitfall of them all.

Recorded Intro

Intro thoughts: There is a lot to living in this world and a lot that distracts us from being who we are meant to be and achieving our goals. It is easy to get side tracked especially as the world seems to be more crowded with things that are designed to steel your attention. It is important to know what your foundation is (See Episode 1) so you have a solid base to build on, but it helps to recognize some common pitfalls that can really get in your way.

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 Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man!

Men should be dangerous in every way. I am not talking about being violent or physically aggressive towards anyone. Today we will discuss how men should be dangerous mentally, professionally and physically. Stick around to the end and we will talk about the most dangerous thing to men.

Intro thoughts: Men should be dangerous in every way. Danger has very little to do with violence and is often confused with the idea of violence. I would never advocate for men to be violent unless there is no other options to protect those you are responsible for and too. Those situation are far and few between and you may be able to go your whole life without that kind of moment, if you are lucky. The world is dangerous though in many ways and unless you are dangerous too you will get eaten alive. The idea of a warrior mindset has been done to death and is really in accurate. We had a “mantra” we recited as a group in training “The strong survive, the weak fall by the wayside” because the idea was to become unbreakable. We conditioned long and hard so that no matter what we endured it was still a bearable situation. Likewise I have a training philosophy that includes the same mind set. When training for an OCR (as my regular listeners know I do) I train far heavier and tougher than anything I will encounter on the course. This is to compensate for the exhaustion of a prolonged event designed to break you down. It trains you mentally and Physically

Men should be dangerous mentally

• In episode 7 we talked about the benefit of doing hard things – It builds Fortitude
• In episode 8 we talked about the value of that mental strength
• Have you ever heard of drown proofing? – That is this fun thing.. –for the purpose of teaching you to think in crap situations. The military does this idea of training a lot, to teach you to be mentally tough no matter what
• Becoming mentally tough and unbreakable makes you mentally dangerous, when you tame your mind to be this way then you are never at a loss in any situation

Men should be professionally dangerous

• If you aren’t the shark then you are the food – Be a shark, no complaints, no whining
• In your office or in your crew be “the Man” “the go getter” “the solutions guy” (pet peeve, everyone comes with problems, come with solutions)
• Be the one who will speak and not cower if you see an issue. (this can be dangerous to you)

Men should be dangerous Physically

• Let’s be honest with ourselves, most men still think they are everything they used to be so we don’t worry because we were scrappy “fill in the blank”
• Ryan Michler over at the Order of Man likes to say “Protect, Provide, Preside” We cannot “protect” if we are out of shape and unhealthy and we can’t really preside as setting the right example is part of that.
• Get on it, get healthy and active. Learn how to master your body so you can protect

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Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man!

I am imperfect, don’t have all the answers and am just on a journey to be better every day, maybe you are too.

On today’s Show: We are going to talk about how Hollywood exaggerated troupes have impacted masculinity over the years. We will examine misconceptions fueled by money and how they impact young men. Stick around to the end and we will talk about the most damaging media for men.

Intro thoughts: We all have an image in our head of who we want to be as we grow up and become healthy adults. Unfortunately the basis of these dreams frequently come from shady sources that give a false sense of what that life truly is. Theater works largely based on exaggeration, you strive to over amplify everything to make it more interesting and fantastic. Unfortunately they exaggerate some of the best, but a lot of the worst aspects of the characters and roles. The reality is they know you are not likely to dish out your hard earned cash for reality; even “reality” shows have little to nothing to do with reality.

Body talking Points:

1. The 12 archetypes and examples
2. If you take all of these examples and take their personalities and put them on x100 you get what you see on screen. – This creates a variation of personality dysphoria 
3. Living as a Fairy tale. – All of these crazy exaggerated characters that Hollywood throws up creates a fairy tale much like women’s magazines having a impact on you women’s idea of reality
4. Find mentors and heroes in the real world.

Final thoughts: If you stayed around this long then we are going to talk about the most damaging thing to men and young men.  That is porn. If Hollywood can skew our image of what men are and should be then how much more for something that is designed to feed our dopamine response.

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Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man!

I am not perfect and don’t have all the answers, but I am on a journey and maybe you are too.

On today’s Show: We are taking questions that women have asked of men and trying to do our best to answer them. In doing research for this show I was amazed by some of the question I saw, and distilling it down to a few was definitely difficult. If you guys enjoy the show let me know and we may follow it I with a part 2. Stick around to the end and finally hear a guy talk about feelings!

Intro thoughts: I hope you guys enjoy this, it was a pain to research. Women are really slow to tell a man what they really want to ask when dealing with strangers, and social media totally failed me on this one. No one would submit questions on social media platforms.

1. Why do men stop trying once they are in a relationship:
2. Evolutionary Testosterone decreases Because we move off the mating hunt and move towards being able to nurture.
3. We also become complacent
4. Do men really think of “nothing”
5. Yes, there are times when men truly just don’t think of anything
6. That is also “occasionally” just to cover for the fact that men think about really random, nonsensical things, like: “I wonder if a Raccoon floats and would make a good pet?”
7. DO men ever get catcalled – Yes and we think it is awesome, so we don’t understand why it upsets some women

Today’s Sponsor @commonmanocr on Instagram

1. Is peeing standing up fun? It seems like it would be
2. DO guys really like women with less makeup or without more than a lot of make up . Or do you just say that to score points.
3. Why do men hide their feelings or think it is weak to show emotions?
4. Conditioning

Final thoughts:  Let me know if you want me to do a part two. In the comment section

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Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man!

On today’s Show: we are going to talk about 10 Daddy Tips You want to Know even Before you are a Dad. This is a collection of tips I wish somebody had shared with me before my girls were born. Stick around to the end for a tip that will help save your marriage during this new adventure.

Intro thoughts: Parenting is a multi-million-dollar industry, primarily because parenting is terrifying to all new or soon to be new parents. News flash, it is always terrifying, we just adapt to living with fear. I put out polls on all of my social media platforms including a men’s group I am apart of with a large number of members asking for the one thing they wish they knew before becoming fathers. Not a single person replied. I am not sure if no one knows anything or people don’t care, so instead of advice from the masses I researched the topic on the web. These are the top tips I found between articles and postings across the web weighed in by my own experiences.

Body talking Points:

• Communication – They understand more than you think, only 7% of communication is words
• Self Care is Important -Sleep – make sacrifices for you each other, one of you needs to sleep
• Music for the win
• Co-Parenting – just like different back grounds effect Christmas, it will surely effect raising a kid
• Your social circle will shrink, single friends will diminish because they can’t relate, not your fault
• You don’t need all that crap
• Don’t freak out if they develop at a different rate than other kids
• Helicopter parenting does not build healthy children
• Everyone is instantly and expert and will share their opinions on your parenting
• It will change you and your habits, preconceived notions on subjects and perspectives

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Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man!

---------------I was reviewing this and realized I said David instead of Daniel at least 2 or 3 times, Sorry about that ----------

On today’s Show: We are going to talk about Royalty and our misconception of the idea. The idea of sovereignty and what it takes to be a king or a leader in general. Stay with us to the end and learn about the 3 traits you need to focus on to be King.

Body talking Points:

1. Misconceptions of Royalty, modern royalty the queen actually has little say. This is not new, “David in the lions den”
2. Sovereignty - Complete independence and self-government. The revolutionary war and ourselves
3. Leaders- Have the same qualities as Good Kings, all you must do is change the cloths
4. Honor – defined as: adherence to what is right or to a conventional standard of conduct. “You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.” Aristotle
5. Integrity – 1 the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. 2 the state of being whole and undivided. Integrity is the Jelly to this PB&J of attributes, Honor and Integrity are almost inseparable. To be King you must have both of these things or you will never be a good king. “Without integrity and honor, having everything means nothing.” Robin Sharma
6. Humility – a modest or low view of one’s importance – Counter culture.

Final thoughts: Movies have crossed this barrier before like we discussed at the beginning. While it is the movies, there is some truth to it. Kings are traditionally male, but not every king is a Man.

Shakespeare “Twelfthnight” - Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. Your fate awaits you.

You can be a King, greatness is in you if you foster it. It my be your friends, you co-workers or your family. Being King is a servant leader position, if you build these traits then you will have “subjects” they will flock to you. Rule wisely      

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Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things Man, Husband and Father. We provide content to help men become the men they want to be. My name is Brent and I Am the Fallible Man!

On today’s Show we are going to talk about the way interactions happen in the military and the trades. Some people think it is hazing, some people argue it builds men. Stick around to the end and find out how to weather the storm of either result.

Hazing

1. Is it pointlessly demeaning or putting you in danger
2. Is it the norm in your environment?
3. Is the payout worth it

Building:

1. Why – is there a valid point?
2. What does it teach you
3. Is it necessary or is there a better way

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