Drs J & J Podcast: Wear 2 Crowns

In the world of mental health and social work, stories of resilience and transformation are powerful. Today, we delve into the remarkable journey of Dr. Robert Ascencio, who overcame significant challenges to become a respected mental health professional and private practice owner. Through his inspiring story, we explore the importance of mentorship, the impact of community support, and the drive to help others. We are so lucky to know Robert and have him on our podcast, we hope you enjoy getting to know him as well!

Keywords

resilience, forgiveness, relationships, counseling, mental health, personal growth, therapy, leadership, social work, success

Key  Topics

Dr. Ascencio's personal journey from homelessness to success

The importance of forgiveness in mental health and relationships

Effective communication strategies for couples

The role of humility and authenticity in therapy

Building rapport and trust with clients and partners

The significance of self-awareness and emotional regulation

Strategies for overcoming shame and self-criticism

The impact of early life experiences on adult relationships

The importance of paying it forward and giving back in social work

Practical tips for creating a safe and supportive environment in therapy

Guest  Name

Dr. Robert Ascencio, MSW, LICSW

 Sound Bites

"The odds were stacked against me, but I kept going"

"Build a safe space where love and trust can grow"

"Start with the how, not the why, to shift your perspective"

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Robert Essentio

02:59 Dr. Robert's Journey: From Homelessness to Success

05:39 The Impact of Mentorship and Support

08:30 Forgiveness: A Key to Healing

11:26 Resilience and Overcoming Adversity

14:15 The Role of Counseling in Personal Growth

17:01 The Importance of Positive Influences

19:48 Conclusion and Future Aspirations

22:31 Navigating the Challenges of Couples Therapy

25:52 Creating Safe Spaces for Communication

32:14 Fostering Accountability in Relationships

35:34 The Power of 'How' in Communication

 Resources

Ascensio Counseling - Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ascensio.counseling/

Les Brown - Motivational Speaker - https://www.lesbrown.com/

Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen/

Guest Links

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ascensio.counseling/

Website - https://ascensio.counseling/

We’re diving into the relational mental load and why it often falls on women. It's that covert load of planning, scheduling, and ensuring quality time that many of us don’t realize we’re carrying.  In this episode, we explore the concept of the relational mental load in marriage, discussing how it impacts quality time, communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy. Learn practical strategies for sharing responsibilities and fostering a healthier, more connected relationship. We don’t want you carrying the mental load alone!

Keywordsmarriage, mental load, relationship, communication, conflict, quality time, intimacy, shared responsibilities, marriage tips

Key  Topics

Definition of mental load and its importance in marriage

Tend, befriend, and mend: psychological frameworks for relationships

Strategies for sharing the mental load of quality time and dates

Managing communication and conflict without burnout

Scheduling intimacy and understanding each other's needs

Evaluating and sharing the mental load fairly

Overcoming resentment and overfunctioning

The impact of disrespect and lack of support on relationship health

 Sound Bites

"Scheduling sex and intimacy requires deliberate planning and communication."

"Conflict management is a shared mental load that prevents burnout and resentment."

"Sharing the mental load is essential for a healthy, thriving marriage."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Relational Mental Load

01:49 Defining Mental Load and Its Components

04:00 The Importance of Quality Time and Deliberate Planning

07:05 Scheduling Sex and Maintaining Intimacy

09:56 Communication, Conflict, and Carrying the Mental Load

14:59 Handling Difficult Conversations and Conflict Boundaries

20:01 Sharing the Mental Load in Social and Family Life

24:52 Recognizing Over functioning and Setting Boundaries

29:54 The Role of Respect and Support in Relationship Health

34:50 Encouragement to Initiate Conversations and Share Responsibilities

Last week we talked about how to know when you have disconnected from your partner, this week we are giving you tips on how to reconnect. In this episode, Drs. Jake and Jenn explore practical tools for couples to reconnect after disconnection, emphasizing empathy, communication, and humor. They share personal experiences and actionable strategies to foster love and understanding in relationships. They also emphasize that disconnection is a common experience in relationships, but it doesn't have to be permanent. With the right strategies, you can mend and strengthen your bond.

Keywords

couples, reconnection, communication, empathy, marriage tools, conflict resolution, humor in relationships, relationship growth, marriage advice

Key  Topics

Tools for reconnection: VEC (Validation, Empathy, Comfort)

The importance of humility and do-overs in relationships

Using humor to diffuse tension and foster connection

The role of marriage staff meetings in maintaining intimacy

Understanding and meeting each other's needs

Takeaways

Reconnection tools like VEC can be used immediately after a disagreement.

Humility and do-overs help repair hurt feelings and rebuild trust.

Humor is a powerful tool to lower tension and promote bonding.

Marriage staff meetings foster positive communication and address unmet needs.

 Recognizing that fighting to be loved is at the core of all conflicts.

Sound Bites

"You really blindsided me the other day"

"Gosh, that must have been really hard"

"Choose humor to lower the intensity"

Chapters

Introduction to Tools for Reconnection

The Role of Humility and Do-Overs

Understanding Flooded States and F Words

Using VEC: Validation, Empathy, Comfort

The Power of Do-Overs and Repairs

Writing as a Tool for Communication

Workarounds for Neurodiversity and Overstimulation

Humor and Lightheartedness in Conflict

The Crown Jewel: Fighting to Be Loved

Encouragement and Final Thoughts

It's easy to feel connected in the blissful moments, like celebrating our grandson's birthday or enjoying a relaxing beach getaway. But what happens when that connection falters? In this episode, Drs. Jenn and Jake dive into the intricacies of couple dynamics, sharing personal insights from their recent experiences.

Keywords

relationship connection, disconnection, emotional intimacy, communication, conflict resolution, couples therapy, emotional health

Key  Topics

The feeling of being connected and its impact on energy and mood

Common reasons for disconnection in relationships

The importance of recognizing and addressing disconnection early

Strategies for effective communication and reconnection

The role of emotional validation, empathy, and strategy in healing

Understanding different needs for connection and space

The impact of fatigue and life stressors on relationship health

The importance of making a conscious decision to reconnect

 Sound Bites

"When I am clicking with you, I can do anything."

"Disconnection often happens when needs are unmet."

"Soft responses can transform conflict into connection."

Chapters

Introduction to Connection and Disconnection

What Does Being Connected Feel Like?

Common Causes of Disconnection

Recognizing When You're Disconnected

Strategies for Reconnection

The Role of Validation and Empathy

Handling Conflict and Disconnection

The Power of Soft Startups

Creating a Reconnection Plan

The Importance of Self-Check and Self-Care

Building a Culture of Connection

Practical Tips for Daily Connection

When Disconnection Becomes a Pattern

The Role of Professional Help

Summary and Final Thoughts

Join Drs. Jake and Jenn as they chat with Tim and Deb Bartlett from Redemption Counseling about their journey as a husband and wife therapy team, their insights on relationships, and practical tips for strengthening marriage bonds. It’s not everyday you get to hear from 2 married counseling duos, this is an episode you’ll not want to miss!

Keywords

Marriage, Couples Therapy, Relationship Tips, Husband and Wife Team, Emotional Connection, Conflict Resolution, Non-Sexual Physical Contact, Enneagram, Gottman Method

Key  Topics

The journey of Tim and Deb Bartlett as a husband and wife therapy team

The importance of understanding and appreciating differences in marriage

Practical strategies for reconnecting and repairing relationships

The role of non-sexual physical contact in intimacy and bonding

Insights from the Enneagram and Gottman Method in relationships

Guest  Name

Tim and Deb Bartlett

Sound Bites

"Physical contact speaks volumes about connection"

"Appreciate your partner, don't try to change them"

"Don't let the sun go down on your anger"

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Bartletts

03:00 The Journey of Working Together as a Couple

05:46 Navigating Strengths and Weaknesses in Marriage

08:37 The Importance of Non-Sexual Physical Contact

11:42 Transforming Trauma Bonds into Joy Bonds

14:37 Modeling Healthy Relationships for Children

17:24 The Value of Prioritizing Your Partner

20:17 Conclusion and Reflections on Marriage

20:47 The Power of Connection in Marriage

23:28 Communication: The Key to Bonding

26:21 Conflict Resolution and Repair Time

29:20 The Dangers of Texting in Conflict

32:11 Understanding Differences in Relationships

35:03 The Importance of Mutual Respect

38:09 Crown Jewels: Takeaways for a Stronger Marriage

 Resources

The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com/

Enneagram Institute - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

Redemption Counseling - https://www.redemptioncounseling.com/

Guest Links

Website - https://www.redemptioncounseling.com/

We’re picking up right where we left off from last week with the last four longings! In this episode, Drs. Jake and Jenn explore the concept of longings in relationships, focusing on how to interpret the results of a primary longing quiz. They discuss the importance of understanding both primary and secondary longings, the role of attachment, and how to effectively communicate needs to partners. The conversation emphasizes the significance of healthy communication and vulnerability in meeting each other's emotional needs, ultimately fostering deeper connections and understanding between partners. We hope your new discovery of you and your partner's primary longing can help deepen your amazing relationship!

Keywords

longings, relationships, attachment, primary longing, secondary longing, emotional needs, communication, appreciation, connection, marriage appreciation, protection, relationships, emotional needs, communication, understanding, respect, gratitude, love, connection resilience, honor, relationships, love, inspiration, communication, personal growth, emotional needs, core longings, vulnerability

Takeaways

Healthy communication can prevent misunderstandings and emotional distance.

Recognizing your partner's longings can enhance empathy and connection.

We are hardwired for connection and need to embrace our emotional needs. Taking each other for granted can lead to misunderstandings.

Expressing appreciation through notes can strengthen relationships.

Verbal appreciation for daily tasks is essential.

A spirit of gratitude fosters a love-centered relationship.

Protection is a significant longing in relationships.

Women often seek physical protection, while men seek emotional protection.

Miscommunication can arise from unmet longings for protection.

Feeling unknown can lead to feelings of rejection.

Understanding different personality types is crucial for connection.

Honor and respect are fundamental needs in relationships. Resilience can be developed from personal challenges.

Honor is crucial in relationships and should be communicated.

Everyone has a longing to be loved and appreciated.

Healthy communication is key to meeting emotional needs.

Being vulnerable about needs is important in relationships.

Inspiration plays a significant role in personal fulfillment.

Understanding core longings can improve relationship dynamics.

It's okay to express needs and desires in a relationship.

Miscommunication can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.

Recognizing and honoring each other's longings fosters connection.

You can take our quiz HERE for free!!!

Do you even know what your primary longing is?! In this conversation, Drs. Jake and Jenn explore the themes of connection and emotional longings, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's core wounds and the role of vulnerability in fostering meaningful relationships. They discuss the significance of proper communication cues and encourage listeners to engage with their longings through a test available on their website. This is part one where they go through the first three longings, tune in next week to part two where they go with the last four. These are some episodes you will not want to miss!

Keywords

connection, longings, vulnerability, communication, relationships, emotional intelligence

Takeaways

Understanding how to attach and connect is crucial.

Identifying our longings helps us understand our core wounds.

Proper cues for connection can enhance relationships.

Vulnerability is key to effective communication.

Avoid overwhelming listeners with too much information.

Encouragement to take the longings test for self-discovery.

Sharing insights with friends and partners is beneficial.

Living, loving, and leading better together is a goal.

The conversation will continue in the next episode.

Many blessings to listeners as they explore their identities.

You can take the quiz HERE for free!!

In this episode, Drs. Jenn and Jake delve into the concept of longings within relationships, emphasizing their significance in understanding emotional needs. They discuss the common misconceptions surrounding longings, the importance of identifying them, and how unmet longings can lead to relational issues. This conversation highlights seven primary longings: the need to be chosen, appreciated, protected, known, honored, loved, and inspired. They provide insights into how these longings manifest in relationships and the necessity of open communication to address them. They also emphasize the significance of understanding and meeting these longings to foster deeper connections and healthier relationships.

Keywords

longings, relationships, couples therapy, emotional needs, appreciation, protection, communication, intimacy, marriage, family dynamics relationships, emotional needs, boundaries, being known, honor, love, inspiration, communication, couples therapy, personal growth

Takeaways

Longings are often unspoken and misunderstood in relationships.

Identifying personal longings is crucial for emotional health.

The longing to be chosen is fundamental in relationships.

Appreciation is a vital need that often goes unexpressed.

Protection is not just physical; it includes emotional safety.

Unmet longings can lead to destructive behaviors in relationships.

Communication about longings can strengthen connections.

Couples often assume their partners know their longings without asking.

Longings can stem from unmet needs in childhood.

The longing to be known is universal and profound.

Being known includes acceptance of one's uniqueness.

Sound Bites

00:00 "I just want to be chosen."

09:35 "We all want to be appreciated."

21:20 "This is your person of choice."

21:49 "We want to be known."

29:08 "Honor breeds honor."

31:47 "Love is patient, love is kind."

32:54 "Love is spelled T I M E."

35:39 "Inspire me is your top longing."

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Longings in Relationships

02:23 The Importance of Identifying Longings

04:46 The First Longing: Choose Me

09:32 The Second Longing: Appreciate Me

15:12 The Third Longing: Protect Me

21:20 Setting Healthy Boundaries

22:32 The Longing to Be Known

25:47 Feeling Seen and Valued

28:40 The Importance of Honor

31:55 The Fundamental Need for Love

36:04 Inspiration as a Key Longing

Ever wondered how to build your kingdom with your spouse, while still keeping your crown on? In this episode, Drs. Jake and Jenn explore their reimagined Two Crowns, One Kingdom curriculum, revealing how fairy tale themes can teach profound psychological concepts about marriage and relationships. They share insights on destinations in marriage, the importance of mutual influence, and practical ways to build a thriving, unified partnership.

Keywords

marriage, relationship, curriculum, fairy tales, longings, love languages, conflict resolution, partnership, personal growth, family life

Key Topics

The reimagined Two Crowns, One Kingdom curriculum

Using fairy tales to teach psychological concepts

The seven destinations in marriage and their longings

The importance of mutual influence and blending in marriage

Conflict resolution and fighting fairly

The significance of appreciation and honor

The role of vulnerability and transparency

The concept of making purple and blending kingdoms

The dark forest as a metaphor for challenges in marriage

The final destination: the royal castle and protecting your relationship

 Sound Bites

"The first longing is to be chosen."

"Pay attention to truly get her."

"Rule as one, even though you're two."

How many times have you heard “the stages of grief”, but not understood what that really meant?? In this episode, Drs. Jake and Jenn explore the complex process of grief, including its stages, myths, and healthy ways to cope. They share personal stories, practical tips, and spiritual insights to help listeners navigate loss and find hope.

Keywords

grief, loss, stages of grief, coping, healing, emotional health, resilience, mental health, spiritual support

Key Topics

Stages of grief (denial, anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance)

Myths about grief (never-ending pain, crying is a weakness)

The importance of community and support in grieving

The role of faith and spiritual beliefs in healing

Practical ways to honor and memorialize loved ones

The emotional and physical aspects of grief and healing

 Takeaways

Allow yourself to grieve fully without shame or guilt.

Recognize that grief can disguise itself as anger, anxiety, or depression.

Support from community and loved ones is vital for healing.

It's normal for grief to come in bursts or waves, often triggered unexpectedly.

Creating memorials or rituals can help process grief and honor loved ones.

 Sound Bites

"Jesus wept — even Jesus cried for us"

"Take your time — grief needs space"

"The antidote to pain is comfort"

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Grief and Its Impact

32:44:14 The Three Steps of Relationship Remodel: Clean, Create, Complete

658:17:40 The Stages of Grief According to Kubler-Ross

11499:57:52 Common Myths About Grief and Emotional Suppression

16611:04:41 The Role of Tears and Emotional Release in Healing

23333:18:14 The Valley of the Shadow of Death: Walking Through Grief

30138:51:48 Cultural Differences in Grief Practices

36555:32:07 The Power of Support, Community, and Faith in Grief

499444:25:56 Practical Tips for Coping and Memorializing Loved Ones

667499:59:38 The Antidote to Pain: Comfort and Connection

753611:06:40 Closing Remarks and Hope for the Grieving Heart

Resources

GriefShare Support Groups - https://www.griefshare.org/

The Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross - https://www.amazon.com/Five-Stages-Grief-Death-Dying/dp/068483240X

The Lord is My Shepherd - Psalm 23 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+23&version=NIV