1. The Afghanistan war prolongs 12 long years. 2. 91 people infected by meningitis outbreak. 3. Biden vs Paul. Retard vs Model. 4. Californian gas goes woop-woop! 5. Snooooopdooooog. Slow down there, buddy. 6. NY air is very NY. 7. Lybia is a mess. 8. Venezuela. Elections. Chavez is fat. 9. Turkey (L) Syria. 10. $500 million in oil loans. 11. Israel shoots drone. Misses ego. 12. Paris black joke. 13. Shock and terror. 14. There are a lot of news stories, so just listen to the freakin' show.