We're back to our Dumpsterpiece roots in this one, revisiting the To All The Boys series with the second film - P.S. I Still Love You. Despite the massive gaps in continuity and tenuous storytelling, we continue this story with a love triangle between Lara Jean, Pater Kavinsky, and the final receiver of the letters - John Ambrose McLaren. Apparently in this universe, her childhood friend Josh no longer exists and they could only pay Margot for three minutes of screen time. Still sponsored by Subway, this film takes us on a whirlwind of Lara Jean's relationships, frustration borne out of indecisiveness and lack of confidence. We get a very saccharine Valentines' Day, a gifted locket that may or may not have a picture in it, singing telegrams from the cast of Glee, and 500 V-Day cards from the girls' soccer team. This film is centered around a dilapidated treehouse that belongs to a neighbor (which was apparently furnished by Pier One) and a steel time capsule that is perfectly preserved after being buried by the group of friends five years ago. At least there are a couple of more interesting side stories - a suggested relationship between Chris and Trevor, another with the Dad and divorcee "Trina," and an intro to former "showgirl of the skies" Stormy at Bellevue.

We're recapping the film here, so there will be spoilers. Please give it a watch (or don't) and then listen along with us. So get your pensive bake going, enjoy the highly unlikely snowfall in Portland in March, and get ready to bear Peter Kavinsky's awful sotto voce, because we're going full Kitty on this one.

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We're super excited for this episode because it includes a special guest! This week we've asked Liz's brother Mike to join us and he graciously suggested a Dumpsterpiece of his own - Heirs of the Force, book #1 in the Young Jedi Knights series. We paint a picture of 15 year old Mike reading this book in his room (wishing he had friends) and cementing his love of Star Wars and the canon that surrounds it. Geared towards younger audiences, Heirs of the Force tells the story of Han and Leia's twins, Jacen (or Jaden if you prefer) and Jaina, and their adventures at the Jedi Academy on Yavin 4. Along with Tenel Ka and Chewy's nephew, Lowbacca, they discover a downed TIE fighter in the jungle and work to rebuild it in between food fights at the Praxeum cafeteria. Things take a dark turn when the TIE pilot (Qorl) emerges and forces them to finish the repairs. We wonder how Qorl is still sane after living in isolation for 20 years in the jungles of Yavin 4, debate the literary merits of Chekov's Crystal Snake, and cringe as Luke relives his glory days of shooting womp rats in his T-16. The real question is: which is the real Dumpsterpiece - the books or the films?

So brush up on your Wookiee culture, find your local Woolamander society, and get ready for some fan service - seriously this book has everything from "rebel scum" to the Millennium Falcon - because we're diving deep into the parallels between the legend and canon. We don't want to get hate mail, so we're apologizing in advance for anything we got wrong, and obviously there are spoilers in this episode. You'll be hard-pressed to find this book, but some kind stranger has recorded it as an audiobook if you want to have a listen.

Goodreads

We've returned to Emily in Paris (on Netflix) with episodes 7 & 8 this week - only two more episodes to go in the first season! Emily "bucket hat" Cooper keeps racking up the points on the #goodideas board, making Cadault sexy again and spraying Paris with "Champère." (For the record, it was a Kangol hat after all.) This week, Emily babysits Brooklyn Clark (aka Marie Callender), an American rom-com actress that just needs a little "me time" after her flight. Just as well because she's about to traipse around town with a €2M diamond-encrusted watch on the hunt for some French D. Unlike American films, however, you can never escape life - so expect the French Ending instead. We also get to meet Camille's family at their champagne vineyard, including her brother, Timothée. Emily manages to sample some Coq au Vin, but it's a little underdone. We also get to see Mindy party it up with her ridiculous friends from China, and a new marketing idea around champagne is born...

The usual disclaimer -  we're tackling this one in bite-sized chunks so we don't end up having to recap an entire season. This only covers episodes 7-8 of the first season. We'll revisit Emily in future episodes but at least you get a chance to watch along. As per usual we're stepping through the show, so there be spoilers ahead.

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This week, we're getting into the 🎄holiday spirit 🎄with the Netflix film Holidate, starring Emma Roberts (Sloane) and Luke Bracey (Jackson).  A cookie-cutter rom-com with raunchy humor, this Dumpsterpiece shows us what it's like to have a "completely platonic" date to every holiday (except Arbor Day). Of course the two main characters are never going to fall in love, so it's totally cool. We also get some comic relief from Aunt Susan (played by Kristin Chenoweth), who, despite being the genius that comes up with the Holidate idea in the first place, manages to ditch the cookie lickers for perfect Dr. Faarooq. Nobody puts Baby in a corner in this film. So return those three pairs of "kah-kees" you got from your crazy girlfriend, double-check your bottle of antacid, and make sure you call Rodney before we dive in together. Just don't blow off your finger with an M80 or accidentally kiss the black panther at a Halloween party...

The usual disclaimer -  we discuss the movie in detail, so there are lots of spoilers ahead. Feel free to go watch the movie before listening, or you can do yourself a favor and just listen to our take.

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On today's episode we've gone back to print media with the book After by Anna Todd, where we ride the rollercoaster that is the relationship between Tessa and Hardin. A formulaic YA romance story, this one has all of the tropes - the perfect virginal control freak, the misunderstood bad boy with a complicated past, a wet noodle of a boyfriend back home, an overbearing mother with a strong sense of propriety, creepy townies, brief teen partying (with cherry sours?), freaks, geeks, and a ridiculous secret percolating in the background. Though Hardin is emotionally abusive to Tessa, she still can't seem to hold it together when she's around him, but at least she gets an internship out of it. Will Tessa be able to tame the wild animal and keep her perfect life intact? Come join us in the dumpster and find out!

We don't cover every minute detail in this story, but we've got all the spoilers. This book is a little bit longer, so feel free to get the cliff notes directly from us. If you're burning to read this in advance, please do - it'll be like you're right here having a conversation with us.

Anna Todd's Website

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Audible

This week on Dumpsterpiece Theatre we're back to Emily in Paris (on Netflix) with episodes 5 & 6. Throw some tallies on the #goodideas board, because Emily is racking them up, even if she is a bit "ringarde." Here we find her as the not-so-eager recipient of an Eiffel Tower, but it's okay because she orders her food with a side of condoms. But if foreshadowing tells us anything, she'll soon be engaged in a ménage à trois. We also find out that Mindy is ashamed of her past as a Chinese Pop Star, but at least she doesn't have P.B.O. And we're so privileged to meet Thomas, a pretentious professor of semiotics 🙄, who believes he is good at providing "la petite mort" yet thinks literally everything is Euro Disney. So get in bed with us (in the dumpster) and listen along, even if it isn't Bolero...

The usual disclaimer - we're tackling this one in bite-sized chunks so we don't end up having to recap an entire season. This only covers episodes 5-6 of the first season. We'll revisit Emily in future episodes but at least you get a chance to watch along. As per usual we're stepping through the show, so there be spoilers ahead.

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Happy 🦃 Chonksgiving! 🦃

For the holiday, we're revisiting the Pauly Shore seminal classic Son In Law! We had a lot of fun making this episode - Scott pre-watched the film and dug deep to challenge Liz on her Son In Law trivia knowledge. Needless to say, it was brutal.

We know you're taking that long drive home to have some down-home country cook-in, so you've got plenty of time to dive in. You've reinvented yourself at college this first semester, and it's time to bring Crawl to pastoral South Dakota to meet the rest of the family. You've got a lot planned for this trip - whittling, feeding the livestock, buffing the wood while line-dancing, checking out the latest issue of Playboy (to release the poisons of course), and tweaking the P-RAM on Zach's 2-CJX. You're going to want to discuss this episode with the fam while you munch on some grindage, just make sure you stay out of Samson the bull's pen, and refrain from causing mischief on the combine. We promise this one is better than a kick in the head with a golf shoe.

This movie has been around since 1993, so it's unlikely that we're spoiling anything, but it's such a classic you're going to want to watch it anyway. Forget what the critics say - let's feast together and enjoy Thanksgiving! 🍗🍗🍗

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This week, we're taking it back to the original episode and revisiting The DUFF with the film that was (very loosely) based on the book. Is this even the same story? We keep a handful of characters here, but (if we're being honest) that's about it. In this film: Ann Veal gets tasked by Senor Chang to write a piece about the significance of homecoming, Madison's minion Caitlin warps the fabric of time and space to stalk Bianca and Wesley, Casey utilizes her extensive cybersecurity background to hack YouTube, Toby Tucker is a fraudulent heartthrob with no integrity, and Wesley gives Bianca an unordered and innumerate list of steps to be popular. So take a trip to "Think Rock," have a seat and buckle in, because this one is straight out of the dumpster.

Although you might be tempted to watch the film in advance to avoid spoilers, you're not missing much. We'd recommend going back to episodes 1 and 2, and listening to our recap of the O.G. The DUFF in print format. Still, there's something for everyone here...

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On this week's episode of Dumpsterpiece Theatre, we're continuing to work our way through Emily in Paris (on Netflix). This week we: discuss the merits of receiving expensive lingerie from your coworkers, bash culturally infantile American corporate commandments, get clean in our neighbor's "la douche," and spot some transparent product placement. The eternal question this go round is "sexy or sexist?" So make sure you unload your pacquets, offer your plumber coffee and a croissant, and get your last minute reservations at your favorite Michelin star restaurant and dive right back into the dumpster with us.

For series like this, we're going to take bite-sized chunks so we don't end up having to recap an entire season. So this episode only covers episodes 3-4 of the first season. We'll revisit Emily in future episodes but at least you get a chance to watch along. As per usual we're stepping through the show, so there be spoilers ahead.

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On this week's episode, it's hoes before bros with the Netflix film The Kissing Booth. Starring Joey King, Jacob Elordi (Eloardi?), and Joel Courtney, this 2018 Dumpsterpiece brings us every montage imaginable, a few awful cover songs, and cold sores for everyone! Don't forget your backup-backup pants as we recap all of the friendship rules (or at least some of them), and watch Elle and Noah get a little handsy in the Sound of Music gazebo. We've also got: 80's boobs, the OMG girls, and an implausible visit to the Hollywood sign. So fire up that beast of a motorcycle and ride along.

Our usual disclaimer - we're recapping the film so this has all of the spoilers. This is an easy watch, so feel free to give it a spin before diving into the pool from the second floor balcony. Or not...

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