Dunce (Dunce) Revolution

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Much like the spice, we played a melange of games this past week as we continue to nervously refresh our browsers waiting for the pre-order floodgates to open this week.

We kick things off with Schedule 1 (TVGS), a management sim that is taking Steam by storm, even in its early access state, by offering an oddly charming and goofy spin on the Walter White experience (eyebrows, eyebrows, wink, wink, need we say more?).

From there, Buzz reflects on his time as Robocop (Teyon). He got to say "Freeze slimebag!" and write some parking tickets. It's on the PSN if that's up your alley.

He also played through the PSP port of Ape Escape: On the Loose, which is the PSP port of the original Ape Escape for the PSX. And that's all there really is to that.

But best of all, Buzz played Omori (OMOCAT) developed by the web artist Omocat, and thoroughly enjoyed it. It's like Earthbound, but if you were encouraged to do some light crying even before the end of the game.

Meanwhile, while all of that was going on, Porter was blasting his way through Devil May Cry 1-4 (Capcom) like his soul depended on it. For a beloved series, it's a bit wild how the quality of the games varies so greatly from title to title, but you won't hear us crying about it.

Anyways, if you want a Switch 2, here's hoping that you secure a pre-order, you know, assuming that the economic reality of our times doesn't shift wildly again in the next 72 hours. I mean, it's not like that could happen...again...and again...and again...

"Robo wants a Switch 2."

And I looked at him and I go, "No. It's just you and I Peter. Robo doesn't get a Switch 2. If Peter wants a Switch 2, Peter can have a Switch 2."

Then he clip-clops in the suit over to the edge of the railing, and Peter starts bellowing, "ROBO WANTS A SWITCH 2!"

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Dexterity (Stealth) roll: 4

"That's what she said. And you know what I. What was that? Okay, James."

And really that's the energy we are bringing to this episode about everyone's favorite ne'er-do-wells, the Rogue. The class that makes being bad a good thing, especially when the lock picking, pick-pocketing, and peeping on people is done in the context of a dungeon and the folks getting burgled had it coming.

Sarah joins Buzz to recount some of the history of the Thief to Rogue pipeline, while also looking at the current 5E 2024 subclasses which have seemingly only helped to improve the Rogue experience.

Burns inspiration.

Dexterity (Stealth) roll: 3

"Don't let the killer get you. Like Halloween, I think it's for ghouls and goblins. and for the killer in disguise to choke you out. Regular scarves have the ends..."

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Oh, we're doing some complaining this episode about future toys that we cannot buy yet, but maybe we will be able to, but then again maybe not? Let's just say the uncertainty of, well, everything was already getting to us, but when you take away the shiny bread and circuses, it really gets one to thinking...

Naturally we talk a bit about games we are playing, including Atelier Yumia and Wanderstop, but really we are here to point at that Nintendo Switch 2 price tag, before the tariff increases mind you, and jump up and down and screech like chimpanzees in front of the monolith.

Well I'm Tariff Tony and I'm here to say

Your Nintendo Switch is on a bit of a delay

A delay, a deportation, a surcharge, unnatural inflation

Another case of a bad international business relation

Felons and technocrats tellin' lies

And all the nerd gets is nothin' to buy!

Fan boys deludin'em, CEOs fleecin'em

Windwaker repeatin'em, Piranha cameras stay peepin'em

Big D Bowser is scared o' me

Cuz I don't pay 90 dollars and expect my online for free

Lemme clear my throat, ha-ha-haaa !

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Back-to-back-to-back episodes this week! We are either spoiling you all or Buzz is really behind on editing, and ultimately you decide. Either way, it's a jam-packed episode as we discuss some surprisingly timely games and some surprisingly untimely novels.

We kick things off by laughing along with that Ubisoft Twitter account (I called it what I called it). Then we dive into Atelier Yumia and the Longest Subtitle Known to Man, I mean, Atelier Yumia: The Alchemist of Memories & the Envisioned Land  (KOEI TECMO GAMES), which we are both enjoying as new and veteran atelier fans.

From there, we start think spacey thoughts as we share our experiences retreading the expanded Xeno-verse in Xenoblade Chronicles X Definitive Edition (Monolith Soft). Big robot good, but time to actually get big robot not so good?

Finally, we explore a new Steam game from Devolver Digital, Look Outside before taking a trip to old Dragonlance! (Yes, I know the world is Krynn, don't @ me). The Humble Bundle is definitely worth it, and no we are not sponsored (ever...).

"A wizard is limited by the number of spells he can cast per day!"

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We finally finished grappling hooking our way through Split Fiction (Hazelight Studios, published by EA), and that means we have every right to complain about it. Loudly.

Well, that's not entirely the case, as, surprising to literally no one, Porter enjoyed his overall time with it and Buzz has once again taken any excuse to gripe he can get. Be forewarned, we spoil the majority of the narrative in this episode, with special focus on the last thirty or so minutes of the game.

We also squeeze in a bit of Dungeons & Dragons talk, specifically about Porter's impressions of the game as a newer player and how he is getting along. See that, free Dunce (Dunce) Dungeon mini-episode!

We also talk a few early impressions of the Xenoblade Chronicles X Definitive Edition (Monolith Soft), which causes us to take a trip down memory lane to its predecessor series Xenosaga. You know, that space opera JRPG that had a character who helped Jesus perform his miracles (Yes, seriously).

Come and try some sci-fi

Come and read some fantasy

We've been cyberninjas

We've been dragon riders

Where the kisses are

hers and hers and some weird CEO's,

Three's company too.

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We're discussing everyone's favorite pillar of the explore-socialize-combat holy trinity of D&D (I was referring to combat in case it's not your favorite, and honestly, that's fair).

Of course, combat has been on our players' minds lately, as they are quickly approaching an encounter with a Black Dragon that has the potential to retire a few character sheets depending on how it all shakes out.

We meander all over the place, as is our want, and end up talking about factions and the renown system, tucking the wizard in after combat to recharge your walking spell gun, memorable monster encounters vs. gathering around a monster shaped pinata, the pros and cons of the experience gain system, how Leomund's Tiny Hut is the best spell, and how Monks are eating good in the 2024 PHB.

We also breakdown our thoughts on the recent layoffs to the team that helped launch the Sigil VTT and how that whole situation could have probably gone better...

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That's right, we played that obscenely popular Split Fiction (Hazelight Studios), but not without some major roadblocks from the always unnecessary EA account system. My personal hill is that no publisher needs their own launcher, account, service, or whatever. What am I already overpaying Sony for if not to enable a smooth multiplayer experience? And now I gotta stop and try to unblock an EA account to play the game I just threw down fifty dollars American for!?

No, it's cool. It's fine. I am over it. I don't need to keep talking about it. I understand we got way bigger issues in both the world at large and locally to us all. Current year argument/makes a wide gesturing motion to a world on fire. Yes, we can move on to something more edifying. But it was, you know, BS.

We also chat a bit about the growing multiplayer community in Monster Hunter Wilds (Capcom) and the treat that is the Suikoden I/II HD Remaster (Konami).

"Trust me, as a gamer myself, I understand your frustrations" ~ A support person who did not, in fact, understand my frustrations.

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That's right, we're playing the latest entry in the ever-popular Monster Hunter series, Monster Hunter Wilds! (Well, maybe once the game opens up about 15 hours in...).

Woah, calm down! That was a joke and totally hyperbolic. Also, it's not my fault that Monster Hunter Wilds has a delicious nougat-y center surrounded by a hard candy shell that must be broken down via hours of salivary action before it finally turns the car keys over to you, having finally recognized that you understand the dangers of the open road.

What was I typing about? So, I made my character look like the protagonist from Eroica with Love by Yasuko Aoike (Yes, I know it's been on hiatus since 2012), who was actually modeled after Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin. We have no affiliation with Plant, his music, art, or any other aspect of his career, nor have we been given permission to use his likeness. Luckily, this is not his likeness, it is the likeness of fictional character Dorian Red Gloria, Earl of Gloria who happens to to be modeled after Plant, so yeah. Also, big fans of Plant and Zeppelin.

Anyway, Monster Hunter is pretty good, but that multiplayer menu and set up could use a second pass. Lots of spider and octopus monsters this time too. They really said, "Let's get weird!" and I can dig it.

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There's always room for more Yakuza, ahem, I mean Like a Dragon, and that's the whole focus of this episode as Buzz and Porter talk about their time with the recently released "Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii" (Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio/Sega/SEGA of America).

And yeah, it's just a really good game, so if you were looking for about fifty minutes of people really enjoying a video game for a change, then you're in luck. You can also head over to https://www.duncerevolution.com/post/like-a-dragon-pirate-yakuza-in-hawaii-review to read our written review as well.

We avoid any plot relevant spoilers and stick to discussing events that occur within the first few hours of the game, because we're damn decent like that.

We also briefly chat about NetEase laying off the American Marvel Rivals team and wonder if you can ever make a game successful enough to avoid being laid off?

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It's another one of those episodes were the ghost of Audio Christmas Past, Present, and Future decide to haunt production, but we soldier on anyway. So, yes it was late, but at least it arrived! 

Also, you will hear us talk about Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii as if it is still not out when it is in fact already out by the time you hear this, so just be cool about it. In fact, you're guaranteed zero spoilers this way because we stick to only talking about the demo, so look at that, you can listen worry free now. I wouldn't mind a thank you very much for that actually.

But to the meat of the matter - Porter gives us his impression on the recently released Civilization 7, a game which seems to have the fanbase fairly polarized. Meanwhile, Buzz also discusses his time with WARRIORS: Abyss, a game that isn't abysmal, just not very memorable.

I would type more malarkey here to make it look like I am contributing, but I need to go see if I can figure out that new Sigil tool before tomorrow's session.