Real time clarity about my drops. In a drop I've decided this is shit and I need to remember how shitty it is, to think twice about playing because drops can be shitty. Then at the end I see what the brain is doing because of chemicals trying to balance, returning to stasis in my brain. For contrast I add at the end a recording I made while I was in a high state from dopamine. These large drops don't happen often. Contrast of two different states. Also reflected momentarily on relationships that ended earlier this year. My safe places are those in which I am able to make mistakes, not fear complete rejection. 

This could be painful but I am free, this is just human bullshit, chemicals, conditioning, hurt people hurt people including self, I am in it, out of it, observing this beautiful chaos, also witnessing from a distance, the future remembering a past; in the end it wasn't so bad. 

Note: the 2nd part volume is louder.

Thanks for being here.