Your mom slays you in that way that only she can and says, “Oh, I see you’ve julienned the carrots when I asked for slices.”

For you, it might not be your mom. But I bet there’s someone in your family of origin who makes you feel … less than.

Today, I’ve got a few games for you to play during this holiday season as you visit your family. I have 4 intentions with today’s episode:

1. My hope is that these games will keep you laughing instead of crying so that…
2. Your relationship with your relatives gets stronger instead of more distant because…
3. There is a particular feeling of belonging that only comes from those people who knew you when you were itty bitty. 
4. But we also know that those are the people who can DRIVE YOU CRAZY like no one else.  So it might take a special mindful effort to maintain or grow those relationships. Especially, as you integrate your partner into your family of origin.

You can download my holiday bingo template here.

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after has 4 steps: 

1. Be in charge of yourself: your own body, mind, and spirit. If you’re struggling with this, listen to my episode from a couple weeks ago about loving the person who votes differently from you. You can calm your body with the right tools.
2. Laugh. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at your relatives. Invite your relatives to laugh at the whole mess.
3. Come to the party ready to spread some joy. Shout out anything that might make the room of people you’re with a little happier.
4. Have compassion. Go looking for the capacity genius in each of your relatives. When you find their unique capacity, it will be a little easier to forgive them for having so little capacity to manage their own emotions or behaviors.

Date Night Discussion

It’s important to give your partner perspective on how they regress when they visit their family of origin. And to normalize that rather than pathologize it. We all regress a little. We fall into habits from our childhood.

How can you laugh about these regressions rather than getting frustrated? How can you remind yourself that you don’t live with the version of yourself that your partner becomes when they’re with their mother? How can you thank your partner for being patient with you when you regress?

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