One word can change the character of your relationship.

Don’t believe me? I invite you to notice how you say hello to your partner.

Does your hello say, “I’m glad to see you!” or is your hello flavored with the taste of goodbye?

I am always sending people to episode #8 of my podcast where I tell the story of how hello changed the course of my relationship with my husband. This week, I’m bringing the episode back from the archives.

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

To help you avoid a sandpapery hello, and to cultivate a tender goodbye with your partner, notice the character of your hello and goodbye.

Date Night Discussion

This week, ask your partner about their most memorable goodbye.

Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication

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What questions are you asking yourself on a regular basis?

Today, I’m inviting you to ask a better question, because if you do, you’ll magically live a better life.

1. We’ll talk about how questions—even those invisible questions you didn’t realize you were asking yourself—are shaping your experience of the world
2. I’ll give you a habit to help you wake yourself up to the questions you didn’t realize you were asking
3. And I’ll help you and your partner find the questions that will deepen your connection and your intimacy

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to rewrite your questions. We'll break it down into 3 specific steps.

1. Uncover the invisible questions you’re asking.
2. Notice the flavor of your question.
3. Rewrite your question to match the life of your dreams.

Date Night Discussion

This week I invite you to talk with your sweetheart about the questions you want driving your relationship.

Want more?

• Try this 60-second shakedown to calm the stress caused by your relationship hurdles

Links I Mention

• Basketball selective attention test
• Shell game selective attention test

Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication

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You say yes. Your partner hears no. What happened?

Today I’m bringing you a snippet from my book, 6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication.

1. You’ll hear why communication can get confusing
2. If you’re married to someone who’s typical answer to your idea is “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I’ll offer you some hope
3. And I’ll explain why negativity is often fear in disguise and how you can fix that negativity with just one word

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to notice the unconscious negative patterns you bring to your relationship.

Are you a person who says yes, but…?

This week notice each time you use the word “but” in a sentence after the word “yes.”

Date Night Discussion

This week I invite you to talk about the role of the word, “No,” in your relationship.

Hearing no on a regular basis can be demoralizing. These “no’s” make it tough to collaborate and they kill sexual chemistry.

• Are there occasions where your partner regularly says no to you?
• Do you feel free to say “no” to your partner?
• Where are the places in your relationship you want to feel free to say “no?”

Want more?

• Here’s an episode that will help you stop fear from polluting your relationship communication.
• While eliminating but from your relationship vocabulary will reduce lots of your conflict, you'll still probably disagree. And some of those disagreements will require a tender apology to repair your relationship. Here’s an episode where I lay out a formula for a really good apology.

Links I mention:

• Tina Fey says this “yes-but” answer will destroy the energy in a comedy scene

Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication

Visit the show notes.

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Reach me at 970-210-4480

When anyone new starts coaching with me, they want immediate results.

Even if the problem they walk into my door was created over 10 years, they want me to fix it…now. Today. In a 90-minute session.

That’s not how rock-solid coaching works and I don’t even really believe that is what you want.

You don’t want a flimsy relationship that can be shifted by a fly-by-night coach offering the latest quick-fix for your relationship. Why not? Because think how shallow the roots are on that fix. The next big wind (or your next big conflict) will blow over any shallowly-rooted-relationship.

This week, I’m offering you the framework that I use in my private coaching. It includes 4 key elements:

• Celebrate
• “Good to notice”
• Tools and invitations
• The Takeaway

I’ll release one episode each day that covers a part of the framework. Three days ago, we concentrated on celebration. Two days ago, I told you about why it’s “good to notice." Yesterday, I shared some of the many tools that I offer my clients in our coaching sessions. In this episode, I’m talking about the final part of my framework: What's your takeaway?

Make sure you check out all 4 parts of my coaching framework:

Part 1: Celebrate! | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 2: “Good to notice” | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 3: Tools and invitations | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 4: The Takeaway | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Visit the show notes.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers.

Follow me on Tik Tok.

Reach me at 970-210-4480

When anyone new starts coaching with me, they want immediate results.

Even if the problem they walk into my door was created over 10 years, they want me to fix it…now. Today. In a 90-minute session.

That’s not how rock-solid coaching works and I don’t even really believe that is what you want.

You don’t want a flimsy relationship that can be shifted by a fly-by-night coach offering the latest quick-fix for your relationship. Why not? Because think how shallow the roots are on that fix. The next big wind (or your next big conflict) will blow over any shallowly-rooted-relationship.

This week, I’m offering you the framework that I use in my private coaching. It includes 4 key elements:

• Celebrate
• “Good to notice”
• Tools and invitations
• The Takeaway

I’ll release one episode each day that covers a part of the framework. Two days ago, we concentrated on celebration. Yesterday, I told you about why it’s “good to notice." In this episode, I’m sharing some of the many tools that I offer my clients in our coaching sessions.

Make sure you check out all 4 parts of my coaching framework:

Part 1: Celebrate! | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 2: “Good to notice” | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 3: Tools and invitations | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 4: The Takeaway | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Visit the show notes.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers.

Follow me on Tik Tok.

Reach me at 970-210-4480

When anyone new starts coaching with me, they want immediate results.

Even if the problem they walk into my door was created over 10 years, they want me to fix it…now. Today. In a 90-minute session.

That’s not how rock-solid coaching works and I don’t even really believe that is what you want.

You don’t want a flimsy relationship that can be shifted by a fly-by-night coach offering the latest quick-fix for your relationship. Why not? Because think how shallow the roots are on that fix. The next big wind (or your next big conflict) will blow over any shallowly-rooted-relationship.

This week, I’m offering you the framework that I use in my private coaching. It includes 4 key elements:

• Celebrate
• “Good to notice”
• Tools and invitations
• The Takeaway

I’ll release one episode each day that covers a part of the framework. Yesterday, we concentrated on celebration. Today, I’ll tell you about why it’s “good to notice."

Make sure you check out all 4 parts of my coaching framework:

Part 1: Celebrate! | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 2: “Good to notice” | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 3: Tools and invitations | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 4: The Takeaway | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Visit the show notes.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers.

Follow me on Tik Tok.

Reach me at 970-210-4480

When anyone new starts coaching with me, they want immediate results.

Even if the problem they walk into my door was created over 10 years, they want me to fix it…now. Today. In a 90-minute session.

That’s not how rock-solid coaching works and I don’t even really believe that is what you want.

You don’t want a flimsy relationship that can be shifted by a fly-by-night coach offering: the latest quick-fix for your relationship. Why not? Because think how shallow the roots are on that fix. The next big wind (or your next big conflict) will blow over any shallowly-rooted-relationship.

This week, I’m offering you the framework that I use in my private coaching. It includes 4 key elements:

• Celebrate
• “Good to notice”
• Tools and invitations
• The Takeaway

I’ll release one episode each day that covers a part of the framework. Today, we’ll concentrate on celebration. Because habits are formed by positive emotion and that creates momentum.

When you identify and then celebrate your strengths, you're gaining momentum for your happily ever after.

Make sure you check out all 4 parts of my coaching framework:

Part 1: Celebrate! | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 2: “Good to notice” | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 3: Tools and invitations | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Part 4: The Takeaway | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog

Visit the show notes.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers.

Follow me on Tik Tok.

Reach me at 970-210-4480

Laughter makes everything better with your partner, and my guest, Chris Duffy, has written a book called, "Humor Me: How Laughing More Can Make You Present, Creative, Connected, and Happy."

Today, you’ll hear the 3 core pillars Chris outlines:

1. Notice things. Be present. (Look for the odd, wacky, and awkward things: they’re funny.)
2. Laugh at yourself. (My biggest laugh in the book was how a realtor described his living situation.)
3. Take social risks. (He tells a super funny story about his time on LinkedIn, and why his account got shut down…eventually.)

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

Chris and his wife, Mollie, have a daily habit (he’s quick to say, “We don’t get it done every day; but that’s the aim"). They each collect things that make them laugh, then share those things at the end of the day for 5-10 minutes.

How different would your life be if you and your partner traded moments of laughter each day?

Connect with my guest

Visit Chris' website. And, while you're there, buy his book!

Listen to How to Be a Better Human.

Watch Chris' TED talk.

Visit the show notes.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers.

Follow me on Tik Tok.

Reach me at 970-210-4480

We’ve all done it: the dreaded communication blunder.

Today we’re rebooting your communication one yucky phrase at a time. I’ll demonstrate the ick. Then we’ll reword, re-examine, and reboot.

Because wouldn’t it be better if your marriage was a long string of conversation pearls you’ll treasure forever rather than a tangled mess?

Today, we’re fixing your communication blunders one lousy example at a time:

1. We’ll examine 6 communication blunders and explore the repairs you could make to have cleaner communication
2. We’ll also look at the internal frustrations and overwhelm that cause us to communicate poorly

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week, take a good look at your communication blunders. One of my favorite times to repair a communication blunder is when I'm driving. I'm alone, the world is passing me by, and my brain just works at a different level when I'm in the car like that.

Instead of taking that drive to beat yourself up about your communication blunder or to justify why it was deserved, practice being the better version of yourself as you drive, or as you work out, or when you're alone in the shower.

Visit the show notes here.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers.

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Reach me at 970-210-4480

What happens to your relationship when you or your partner attempt a moonshot?

A moonshot—by definition—is a reach. It will ask more of you than feel like you can give. Your moonshot will stretch you, and, just when you think you’re completely laid out flat, your moonshot will...you guessed it...ask for more. This MORE can be stressful. And we know what stress does to your relationship.

Today, Laverne McKinnon is returning to the podcast to help you discern between all the stressors a moonshot can bring into your life:

1. Laverne will give you practical tools for negotiation when you face the relationship stress of a moonshot
2. She’ll guide you with her 7 steps
3. And help you distinguish between the three voices that are likely to show up in your head

Visit the show notes here.

Buy my book.

Listen to my book.

Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers.

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Reach me at 970-210-4480

Connect with my guest

Laverne McKinnon has been a film and television producer, as well as a senior executive in Hollywood at CBS and EPIX. These days she’s on the faculty at Northwestern University and is a Career Strategist and Grief Coach. She leads an ongoing group program called Solid Ground for people who are navigating a disruption or upset at work.