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E105 | The Simple Hack to Calm Toxic People | Megan Hunter
Conflict resolution with toxic people at work or home doesn’t have to drain you. Learn the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) and EAR Statements (Empathy, Attention, Respect) — simple hacks to calm conflict and protect yourrelationships.
In this episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings sit down with Megan Hunter, CEO of High Conflict Institute and co-founder with Bill Eddy, to share practical tools for handling high-conflict personalities.
Known as The Conflict Influencer, Megan reveals science-backed methods that help leaders, parents, and partners reduce tension, set boundaries, and keep conversations productive.
We dive into:
– BIFF at Work: how to reply to hostile emails without fueling drama
– EAR Statements that instantly calm toxic behaviour
– Why trying to “hash it out” makes things worse with high-conflict people
– Boundaries that stick without escalating the situation
– What to do if you feel trapped in a high-conflict relationship
Megan’s work has trained thousands across 10 countries, giving hope that even the toughest relationships can be navigated with confidence.
🎧 Whether you’re managing difficult colleagues, co-parenting with conflict, or navigating tense family dynamics, this episode gives you the conflict resolution skills you need right now.
⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS)
00:00 Welcome & Megan’s story – from justice system to Conflict Influencer
03:00 Why toxic behaviour is really a different operating system
07:00 The brain science: trauma, wiring, and defensiveness
10:00 First clue you’re dealing with high conflict (and not just you)
13:00 EAR Statements: empathy, attention, respect in action
18:00 Calm Before Think: CFO’s story of handling a toxic employee
24:00 BIFF at Work – how to reply to hostile emails without fueling them
30:00 Why apologies backfire and what to say instead
34:00 Hope & limits: when to calm and when to walk away
40:00 Where to get help: High Conflict Institute & ConflictInfluencer.com
46:00 Final thoughts: how everyone can build healthier conflict habits
🚀 NEXT STEPS
🔗 Connect with Megan Hunter:
– High Conflict Institute: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com
– Conflict Influencer: https://www.conflictinfluencer.com
– Podcast: It’s All Your Fault! (available on all major platforms)
– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meganhunter
🎥 Watch more from The 4 Habits:
– YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@The4Habits
🎧 Listen on Spotify:
– https://open.spotify.com/show/0fWvVbnNNhh9jodRYGG1O1
📘 Take the Free Quiz: http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com
📖 Get the Book: https://the4habits.com/book/
🎓 Join the Course:https://learn.the4habits.com/courses/rq-blueprint-for-healthy-relationships
#HealthyRelationships #ConflictResolution #HighConflict #WorkplaceCulture #The4HabitsPod #BIFFMethod#EmotionalResilience #RelationshipAdvice #PersonalGrowth #LeadershipSkills
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By The 4 HabitsConflict resolution with toxic people at work or home doesn’t have to drain you. Learn the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) and EAR Statements (Empathy, Attention, Respect) — simple hacks to calm conflict and protect yourrelationships.
In this episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings sit down with Megan Hunter, CEO of High Conflict Institute and co-founder with Bill Eddy, to share practical tools for handling high-conflict personalities.
Known as The Conflict Influencer, Megan reveals science-backed methods that help leaders, parents, and partners reduce tension, set boundaries, and keep conversations productive.
We dive into:
– BIFF at Work: how to reply to hostile emails without fueling drama
– EAR Statements that instantly calm toxic behaviour
– Why trying to “hash it out” makes things worse with high-conflict people
– Boundaries that stick without escalating the situation
– What to do if you feel trapped in a high-conflict relationship
Megan’s work has trained thousands across 10 countries, giving hope that even the toughest relationships can be navigated with confidence.
🎧 Whether you’re managing difficult colleagues, co-parenting with conflict, or navigating tense family dynamics, this episode gives you the conflict resolution skills you need right now.
⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS)
00:00 Welcome & Megan’s story – from justice system to Conflict Influencer
03:00 Why toxic behaviour is really a different operating system
07:00 The brain science: trauma, wiring, and defensiveness
10:00 First clue you’re dealing with high conflict (and not just you)
13:00 EAR Statements: empathy, attention, respect in action
18:00 Calm Before Think: CFO’s story of handling a toxic employee
24:00 BIFF at Work – how to reply to hostile emails without fueling them
30:00 Why apologies backfire and what to say instead
34:00 Hope & limits: when to calm and when to walk away
40:00 Where to get help: High Conflict Institute & ConflictInfluencer.com
46:00 Final thoughts: how everyone can build healthier conflict habits
🚀 NEXT STEPS
🔗 Connect with Megan Hunter:
– High Conflict Institute: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com
– Conflict Influencer: https://www.conflictinfluencer.com
– Podcast: It’s All Your Fault! (available on all major platforms)
– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meganhunter
🎥 Watch more from The 4 Habits:
– YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@The4Habits
🎧 Listen on Spotify:
– https://open.spotify.com/show/0fWvVbnNNhh9jodRYGG1O1
📘 Take the Free Quiz: http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com
📖 Get the Book: https://the4habits.com/book/
🎓 Join the Course:https://learn.the4habits.com/courses/rq-blueprint-for-healthy-relationships
#HealthyRelationships #ConflictResolution #HighConflict #WorkplaceCulture #The4HabitsPod #BIFFMethod#EmotionalResilience #RelationshipAdvice #PersonalGrowth #LeadershipSkills