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E117 | Why Don’t People Get Me? – And How to Fix It | John ‘JR’ Rennie
Ever feel misunderstood — like no one really sees you? You’re not necessarily difficult. You’re just wired differently. In this transformative episode, systems-thinker and leadership coach John ‘JR’ Rennie reveals how understanding your unique design can shift how you see yourself — and how others respond to you.
After decades leading a software business, JR hit burnout. That moment of crisis became a divine redirection — and led to the birth of BrushFires Ministry, where he now helps others uncover their God-given design and walk in clarity.
Through his Design Discovery Process and coaching tools like ReKindle and Ignite, JR empowers people to resolve deep rooted relational friction and finally feel fully seen, known, and understood.
🎧 If you’ve ever thought “Why don’t people get me?” — this episode is your roadmap to clarity, connection, and calling.
💡 What You’ll Learn:
✔️ Why you’re not being difficult — you’re designed that way
✔️ The difference between design and personality
✔️ How to understand and communicate your wiring
✔️ Tools to reduce conflict in marriages, ministries & teams
✔️ Why clarity in your design restores joy and purpose
✔️ A faith-based approach to identity, relationships & leadership
⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS)
00:00 | Why don’t people get me?
03:08 | When the business fell apart — and JR hit reset
06:40 | Burnout, duty and the cost of ignoring design
10:50 | Joy is the outcome of alignment, not success
13:22 | Personality vs Design — what’s the real difference?
17:30 | What happens in a Design Discovery session?
21:10 | Writing your Purpose Statement
26:05 | How clarity restores struggling marriages and teams
29:37 | When people finally feel understood — for real
34:58 | JR’s legacy: helping people walk in alignment
✅ NEXT STEPS
A) Connect with JR
🌐 Website: https://www.brushfires-digital.com
📧 Email: [email protected]
🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-j-rennie/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brushfires.ministry/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/430555434394373
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BrushFiresMinistry
B) For more episodes like this…
📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@The4Habits
🎧 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0fWvVbnNNhh9jodRYGG1O1
C) Want to up your relationship game?
🧠 Take the FREE 5-min Relationship Quiz: http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com
📘 Get the Book: https://the4habits.com/book/
🎓 Enrol in the Course: https://learn.the4habits.com/courses/rq-blueprint-for-healthy-relationships
#HealthyRelationships #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #RelationalIntelligence #The4HabitsPod #FeelingMisunderstood #KnowYourDesign #EmotionalResilience
View all episodes
By The 4 HabitsEver feel misunderstood — like no one really sees you? You’re not necessarily difficult. You’re just wired differently. In this transformative episode, systems-thinker and leadership coach John ‘JR’ Rennie reveals how understanding your unique design can shift how you see yourself — and how others respond to you.
After decades leading a software business, JR hit burnout. That moment of crisis became a divine redirection — and led to the birth of BrushFires Ministry, where he now helps others uncover their God-given design and walk in clarity.
Through his Design Discovery Process and coaching tools like ReKindle and Ignite, JR empowers people to resolve deep rooted relational friction and finally feel fully seen, known, and understood.
🎧 If you’ve ever thought “Why don’t people get me?” — this episode is your roadmap to clarity, connection, and calling.
💡 What You’ll Learn:
✔️ Why you’re not being difficult — you’re designed that way
✔️ The difference between design and personality
✔️ How to understand and communicate your wiring
✔️ Tools to reduce conflict in marriages, ministries & teams
✔️ Why clarity in your design restores joy and purpose
✔️ A faith-based approach to identity, relationships & leadership
⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS)
00:00 | Why don’t people get me?
03:08 | When the business fell apart — and JR hit reset
06:40 | Burnout, duty and the cost of ignoring design
10:50 | Joy is the outcome of alignment, not success
13:22 | Personality vs Design — what’s the real difference?
17:30 | What happens in a Design Discovery session?
21:10 | Writing your Purpose Statement
26:05 | How clarity restores struggling marriages and teams
29:37 | When people finally feel understood — for real
34:58 | JR’s legacy: helping people walk in alignment
✅ NEXT STEPS
A) Connect with JR
🌐 Website: https://www.brushfires-digital.com
📧 Email: [email protected]
🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-j-rennie/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brushfires.ministry/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/430555434394373
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BrushFiresMinistry
B) For more episodes like this…
📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@The4Habits
🎧 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0fWvVbnNNhh9jodRYGG1O1
C) Want to up your relationship game?
🧠 Take the FREE 5-min Relationship Quiz: http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com
📘 Get the Book: https://the4habits.com/book/
🎓 Enrol in the Course: https://learn.the4habits.com/courses/rq-blueprint-for-healthy-relationships
#HealthyRelationships #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #RelationalIntelligence #The4HabitsPod #FeelingMisunderstood #KnowYourDesign #EmotionalResilience