E21: How to Listen to Your Kids

Communication in life is a two-way street: even between parents and kids.  Erin and Sarah add on to their previous conversation about getting kids to listen by talking about how to always listen to what kids are saying to us.   “You want to show interest in the little stuff that will later become the big stuff, because I would rather them be coming to me to tell me those big things than going to who know who.”- Sarah

0:02:08

Tip #1: Listen first.  Stop doing g all the things we do as moms and listen when kids have words to share.  Set the pattern to listen with 100% attention while they are young for when they are older and conversations have significant consequences that you hope they will come to you to talk about.

0:05:55

Tip #2: Conversations don’t always need to have the exact answer right away. Start your response with validating what your kids have shared with you so they know you have heard them. Show interest so they know you are a safe place to come and talk with about anything.

0:10:11

Tip #3: Create a time for conversation.  Sarah’s family talks about their day, in turn, around the dinner table or share last words of the day at bed time.  Open conversations so everyone can contribute whatever they need to say.  A safe place for conversation might be in the car when everyone is buckled in and looking in their own directions (or be honest if it’s not the right time and you need 100% focus on driving).

0:15:48

Tip #4: Focus your intention and actively listen; even if you’re “faking it til you make it.”  Let the kids correct you to explore their own ideas and feelings in how they communicate with you. Acknowledge when kids want to be heard, even if you’re talking to another adult.  Erin shares her tip on how her kids let her know they have something to say without interrupting.

19:32

Tip #5: “Listening is not fixing all the time.” Don’t impose your own reactions before hearing what your child is feeling.  Are they venting or is it their revelation or do they need to speak out loud to have their revelation?

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Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo