Moms Unschooled

Are you a feminist? Feminism is a cultural construction and has different meanings and looks throughout time and each of our lives. Erin and Sarah talk about what feminism has been in the past, how they see it today, and examples of raising kids who understand feminism. “I think the unschooling part about this is really deciding for yourself what feminism means to you?”-Sarah

Resources shared in the show:

“Redefining the f-word: what does feminism look like today?” Global News https://globalnews.ca/news/3292948/redefining-the-f-word-what-does-feminism-look-like-today/

The End of Men by Christina Sweeney-Baird

How to reach us:

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Email us at [email protected]

Shop Moms Unschooled Products: https://teespring.com/stores/moms-unschooled

Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo

Erin and Sarah talk about the myths and truths of what working from home entails, especially for moms. Working and learning remotely takes self accountability and self-motivation, but moms have more possibilities than ever today with online and remote working opportunities.

1:51

Sarah talks about her own professional background that has never been in a traditional office and her belief in the power of mental breaks and deep mental work.

5:03

The Pearson Global Learners Study from August 2020 says that education is forever changed and learners are shifting where and when and how they want to learn and online learning is here to stay: for better or worse.

7:08

How does a mom start online working?  Sarah and Erin brainstorm some ideas of careers moms can start out by learning onlining and growing a business, even if it’s remote.

9:22

One of the important sets of skills for a digital workplace includes self-discipline, motivation, and time management in protecting your time for deep thought when it’s your time to work.

14:31

Remote working opportunities are allowing employees, especially stay-at-home moms new

opportunities to jump into the workforce, but not at a full 40-hour commitment away from home.

17:36

Sarah addresses her pet peeve of “soft skills” and how remote workers need soft skills as much as hard skills in the remote workforce. Knowing multiple languages helps remote workers find diverse benefits and job opportunities.

Resources shared in the show:

Fiverr.com

Remote.co

Vitamintalent.com

Aquent.com

Pearson Global Learners Study

How to reach us:

Follow us on Facebook 

Subscribe on Youtube

Email us at [email protected]

Shop Moms Unschooled Products: https://teespring.com/stores/moms-unschooled

Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo

E26: Kids and the environment

Erin and Sarah are joined this week by Erin’s friend Michelle who wears many hats as a mother and woman of the world.  She has put a lot of thought and discussion into her community about ways to be conscious of the environment in everyday living. Erin shares her awe of how and why Michelle’s family finds ways to be environmentally conscious and the ladies talk about how other families can take steps to be conscious and aware of our actions.

3:00

Michelle says her family tries to be mindful and intentional in planning and making decisions and it starts with shopping only once a week. She shares her strategy of taking her time to make a list and only buying what they need for the week.

6:22

Michelle says she talks with her kids about reducing waste in all aspects of life from how they get up the street (walking or biking vs. driving) to not wasting time and resources.  Michelle’s religion drives her to take their intentional path of not wasting even though they are blessed with plenty in their lives.

9:57

Source reduction and having less of everything is the top priority followed by looking towards reusing everything possible.

12:00

Two things to do today as a family:

16:32

Michelle encourages families to not be overwhelmed by all the little things, or the enormity of big statistics about our actions in the world. Erin shares a book with lots of tips for families:  “10 Things I Can Do To Help My World” by Melanie Walsh. Getting kids’ buy-in is essential to start the discussions and work on Earth Day and beyond.

Resources shared in the show:

10 Things I can do to help my world by Melanie Walsh

World Wildlife Foundation Symbolic Species Adoptions

How to reach us:

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Shop Moms Unschooled Products: https://teespring.com/stores/moms-unschooled

Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious-minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive-through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo

Learning about money and finance is different for every family, but ultimately future adults need to learn about where money comes from, how much living life costs, how to save and invest,  and the value of every dollar.  Sarah and Erin talk about their experiences of how much and how they talked with their parents about money growing up and invited Lynn (Sarah’s husband) to share his own, and different, the perspective of growing up. “I think it's on the parents to teach the habits, allowing them to have the experience. There lessons and discussions of those lessons and overall guidance when it comes to finances.”  -Tracy

3:19

Start early, even as early as age 3. Finding everyday ways to talk about money in day-to-day purchases can help put money in a realistic perspective for kids. Kids ask parents tough questions and parents need to answer in terms kids understand at their level to foster a conversation of learning.

12:45

Families need to have strategies to help kids understand saving money to help them understand it beyond just what Mom and Dad say they should when they are older. Work experience and what kids pay for in their teen years is different for every family from working a fast-food job to focusing on grades and athletics.

22:55

Tips for younger kids include the basic understanding of money as a tool and the emotional vs. functional purpose and use of money.  Helping kids understand how much money they’ve spent on their favorite toys, or things they didn’t care about soon after spending the money helps put the perspective of where the money goes and the value.

Resources shared in the show:

How to Talk to Kids About Money Without Creating entitlement or Fear: https://selfsufficientkids.com/talk-to-kids-about-money-parents/

How to reach us:

Follow us on Facebook 

Subscribe on Youtube

Email us at [email protected]

Shop Moms Unschooled Products: https://teespring.com/stores/moms-unschooled

Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo

E:24 Saving Curiosity in Our Kids

Box cutters, water fights in the house, and not painting pumpkins orange might not be traditional lessons for kids, but they are examples of ways to spark curiosity for kids.  Erin’s “ultra hunky husband,” Chris, joins MomsUnschooled again to share his ideas about encouraging kids to be curious and what he learned from listening to a parenting book about curiosity (while “daydreaming”).  “Understanding how it works is beautiful, but if they have to go through that process, every time as a 40 year old, they're never going to have time to explore those mysteries that they want to explore.” -Chris

3:48

How do parents encourage and preserve curiosity in kids?  Chris’ recommendation of Curios by Ian Leslie.  The book is different from the basic parenting books in helping parents understand the way kids think and the effect parents have in raising future adults. Explaining why or how to kids in the moment of something happening is a huge take away for adults to foster the desire to explore.

9:19

Children from 3-5 will ask an adult 40,000 why or how questions because they aren’t trying to be annoying, they genuinely want to know why.  They trust adult’s answers to know or find the answers. Teaching kids that sometimes parents don’t know the answer builds life long learners with the example of always asking questions and seeking answers.

12:03

Diversive curiosity is about being flooded with information and never getting deep down.  Epistemic curiosity drives deep into what you want to know about.  Technology is a blend of finding the right opportunity for epistemic curiosity for kids, adults and the family.

15:00

The value of memorization as a learning tool is being challenged in traditional education and serves kids with setting fundamental knowledge of basic subjects.  Encouraging mistakes and exploration allows kids to learn these fundamentals and build curiosity.

21:00

Asking open ended questions and putting kids in situations that they get a chance to make decisions on their own helps lead to curiosity. Parents can find opportunities to teach kids instead of doing everything for them, even in mundane tasks like creating a sandwich and using their creativity to get it done.  Even though it’s faster and easier sometimes to just get the job done for kids, providing kids the chance to explore with independence requires extra effort and patience for parents.

Resources shared in the show:

How to reach us:

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Do you like being a mother? Erin and Sarah talk about the idea of not always enjoying motherhood. Some moms have stronger feelings than others, but this episode helps moms get unschooled about the darkness of motherhood and how moms can control the outside expectations vs. their own reality. “The reason we've created this podcast is so moms don't feel alone and, and here, this is something that is very lonely if we don’t address it.” - Erin

0:01:32

What does a clinical psychologist say about the feeling of not liking being a mother?  The problem is moms don’t talk about these feelings enough…even with other moms who have all been there before.

0:05:53

Talking about the challenges of motherhood can help moms accept that you’re not a bad mom and feel more secure in their roles.  Not every moment is perfect with kids around, but we see it through every day, even when it’s hard.

0:08:14

Parenting is long and thankless, but the “perfect mom” displayed on social media doesn’t encourage us to be our own family.

0:11:02

Cultural norms for motherhood today define what moms “think” how they “should be,” regardless of education or career growth the mom made before having kids. Expectations of being a “happy Mom” or a “good parent” are different than reality.

0:14:10

Stress affects every person in different ways.  The same stressor might even affect you differently next week than it did today.  Not every mom relates to the same stresses of parenthood, but we have to support each other in the general idea of stress.

Resources shared in the show:

“I Do Not Like Being a Mother” Psychology Today article by  Carrie Barron, MD https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-creativity-cure/201307/i-do-not-being-mother-0

I love my kids, but I don’t love parenting by Liz Kreiger on Today’s Parent: https://www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/i-love-my-kids-but-i-dont-like-parenting-and-i-know-im-not-alone/

How to reach us:

Follow us on Facebook 

Subscribe on Youtube

Email us at [email protected]

Shop Moms Unschooled Products: https://teespring.com/stores/moms-unschooled

Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo

Advocating for your children is important as a parent...but do you worry about being the “Karen?”  Erin and Sarah talk about the “Karen” stereotype of advocating for your children without being too pushy.  “Do you think dads have this problem between determining the balance between being an advocate for your kid and being ‘that” parent or a “Karen?’  Is there a male counterpart?”-Sarah

0:02:02

Sarah shares tips on how to advocate without being pushy from Megan Walbert, a parent editor for Lifehacker.  Tip #1 is to share insights about your kids vs. demanding an outcome.    Tip #2 is to work through the appropriate level to resolve an issue first. Tip #3: Decide if your concern is a preference of a necessity for learning or safety.

0:08:31

Go with your gut!  State your case and stand up for what you know is right for your child.  No one knows your child better than their mom! Don’t let the “that parent vibe” change your perspective on the importance of what you are asking for.

0:14:11

Pick your battles and be an advocate.  Lean on your support system to voice your concerns and make the judgment of when to be the well-intentioned advocate.

Resources shared in the show:

How to advocate for your child without being Pushy-- https://offspring.lifehacker.com/how-to-advocate-for-your-child-without-being-pushy-1832435377

How to reach us:

Follow us on Facebook 

Subscribe on Youtube

Email us at [email protected]

Shop Moms Unschooled Products: https://teespring.com/stores/moms-unschooled

Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo

E21: How to Listen to Your Kids

Communication in life is a two-way street: even between parents and kids.  Erin and Sarah add on to their previous conversation about getting kids to listen by talking about how to always listen to what kids are saying to us.   “You want to show interest in the little stuff that will later become the big stuff, because I would rather them be coming to me to tell me those big things than going to who know who.”- Sarah

0:02:08

Tip #1: Listen first.  Stop doing g all the things we do as moms and listen when kids have words to share.  Set the pattern to listen with 100% attention while they are young for when they are older and conversations have significant consequences that you hope they will come to you to talk about.

0:05:55

Tip #2: Conversations don’t always need to have the exact answer right away. Start your response with validating what your kids have shared with you so they know you have heard them. Show interest so they know you are a safe place to come and talk with about anything.

0:10:11

Tip #3: Create a time for conversation.  Sarah’s family talks about their day, in turn, around the dinner table or share last words of the day at bed time.  Open conversations so everyone can contribute whatever they need to say.  A safe place for conversation might be in the car when everyone is buckled in and looking in their own directions (or be honest if it’s not the right time and you need 100% focus on driving).

0:15:48

Tip #4: Focus your intention and actively listen; even if you’re “faking it til you make it.”  Let the kids correct you to explore their own ideas and feelings in how they communicate with you. Acknowledge when kids want to be heard, even if you’re talking to another adult.  Erin shares her tip on how her kids let her know they have something to say without interrupting.

19:32

Tip #5: “Listening is not fixing all the time.” Don’t impose your own reactions before hearing what your child is feeling.  Are they venting or is it their revelation or do they need to speak out loud to have their revelation?

Resources shared in the show:

How to reach us:

Follow us on Facebook 

Subscribe on Youtube

Email us at [email protected]

Shop Moms Unschooled Products: https://teespring.com/stores/moms-unschooled

Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo

E20: Get Kids to Listen

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Getting kids out the door on time with everything they need is draining for Moms and an age-old question of how to “get these munchkins to listen to our words.”  Erin and Sarah talk about who is to “blame” for the frustrations of not listening to each other. “This is soul searching right now.  This is totally calling me out right now y’all because I want them to listening to me, but I don’t think I’m doing it right.”-Erin

0:01:21

Other than pulling out the “Dad voice,” what tips are there for getting kids to hear us?  Tip #1 to get kids to listen to us: go to them.  See what the kids are actually doing and have patience if they are immersed in focus.

0:04:55

Tip #2: take in kids feelings and words for two-way communication to understand what the kids are hearing vs. what you are saying.  Mom’s voices have turned into white noise of nagging and kids can become desensitized to yelling.  The power of silence is a Mom’s secret weapon sometimes.

0:06:54

Tip #3: ask kids to do something more vs ordering them to do everything.  We have conversations with our friends talking about what everyone needs/wants to do, Moms can translate that to kids to work together.  Grace and patience are a Mom’s best friend, but aren’t the easiest skills to practice.

0:09:56

Tip #4: say yes more--or maybe-ish. Get clever about our words and solutions instead of demanding.

21:06

Tip #5: Tell the kids why you need them to do something and help them understand at their level why what you are saying is reasonable and necessary.

0:15:03

Tip #5 Get out of your comfort zone to connect with kids, even if that comes back to silly poop talk for a few minutes.  Let go of the pressure of keeping up with the Joneses and focus on keeping up with how your kids respond best.

23:11

What’s the timeliness in this moment?  Is there a chance to find even a minute of patience to find the right time to talk to kids and see action?

Other episodes mentioned in this episode:

E7: The Brave Learner by Julie Bogart-A Book Review-Making Education Magical

How to reach us:

Follow us on Facebook 

Subscribe on Youtube

Email us at [email protected]

Shop Moms Unschooled Products: https://teespring.com/stores/moms-unschooled

Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo

E19: Dads Unschooled

Erin’s “super hunky” husband Chris joins Erin and Sarah to ask what “Moms Unschooled” actually means. Erin and Sarah ask him what dads need to be unschooled about.  Erin and Chris talk about their own family roles and challenging stereotypes of what each parent does in the family, despite the stereotypes of their roles.

Moms unschooled is: “Taking our ideas, taking the status quo and flipping it on its head and seeing things for how it really is.” - Erin

1:46

The “Dads unschooled” stereotype is usually about the dad going to work and having financial responsibility for the family.  “It’s the one that troubles me the most...it doesn’t have to purely be showing that 100% masculine role all the time.”- Chris

4:30

Chris and Erin believe in a united front between Mom and Dad with the kids and each parent addresses needed discipline in the moment.

8:55

What stereotypes of being a father do dads need to be unschooled about?  Start with the challenge of recognizing when the work day ends and being “all in” with all the obligations of shared parenting.

10:56

Chris doesn’t have a problem disconnecting from being a Marine all day to come home and focusing on the family, but some dads do.   Dads can defy the status quo, social norms and change things up.

15:38

Questions dads can ask themselves to challenge the norm: Can it wait until tomorrow? What are we taking for granted? What will keep moving whether I’m there or not?  What is important?

18:38

Chris and Erin push their kids’ limits together to encourage them to think for themselves and challenge the definition of normalcy as they learn about making “real life” decisions.

“Wherever we have the opportunity is to include our kids and have them observe and be at least be in the same room and the same table of real life problems and decision making.”-Chris

Resources shared in the show:

Todd Parr books

How to reach us:

Follow us on Facebook 

Subscribe on Youtube

Email us at [email protected]

Shop Moms Unschooled Products: https://teespring.com/stores/moms-unschooled

Who we are:

Erin and Sarah are moms who enjoy each other’s unique cul-de-sac “mom perspectives” so much they want to share their thoughtful and sassy ponderings with other moms around the world.  Collectively they are moms to 4 school-aged kids, and world travelers in their journeys as United States Marine Corps spouses. Erin is a homeschooling mama of three munchkins that loves running (slower than most people walk), traveling, and can recite the alphabet backwards while opening a bottle of wine. Sarah is a curious minded mama of one small human, enjoys writing, takes forever to read a book for leisure, and can order McDonald's at a Japanese and German drive through.

Music from YouTube Audio Library [Aka YAL]

Music provided by RFM: https://youtu.be/Ia6NYheR8Eo