According to credible sources on YouTube, CIA agents are forbidden from disguising themselves as religious clergy—which means no dressing as a priest and posting up in the confession booth at your local human trafficker’s favorite church. However—Scientology achieved religious tax status relatively recently in history. During my lifetime, in fact. Was it legal for the CIA to pose as Scientology leadership before it became a religion? If so, is there a loophole that allowed existing CIA to stay embedded as Scientology staff after the fact? Who is sleeping with who? Let’s talk to ourselves about it in a room alone until we’ve got a solid conspiracy to disseminate on Facebook this Thanksgiving so your friends from high school will finally have the excuse they need to block you once and for all. Remember to social distance.