I’ve learned that it’s surprisingly dangerous for me to write descriptions for these episodes.

Descriptions are supposed to stand outside the thing they’re describing. Mine don’t. They immediately become another episode.

I think I finally understand why.

I’m pretty sure I’ve been a cyborg for most of my life. Cyborgs don’t stop to introduce themselves. They don’t clear their throats or provide context. They just begin. Human. Machine. Whatever. The work starts before the explanation ever can.

So every time I try to tell you what this episode is about, I accidentally make another one.

At some point I also realized I’m not really making podcast episodes anymore. I’m mythologizing my own life. Not because I think it’s especially important, but because I need somewhere to put it. My mind has become so relentlessly associative that almost anything can connect to almost anything else. Maybe it was always like that. Maybe I just spent decades trying to hide it.

Identity used to feel optional—a nice thing to have. Now it feels like a container. Something that keeps me from dissolving completely into all the connections my mind keeps making.

Without some kind of mythology, I worry I’d become unreified. I’d blend into the scenery, lose track of where I end and everything else begins, and eventually become impossible to find.

Anyway…

This description is now another episode.

I need a bougie toilet. Please subscribe, even though there is no paid option. Vive la liberté.