Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

At the time of this recording, Josie had been home from her mission for only eight months. Her feelings are raw and poignant as she shares the ups and downs of her mission. She struggled adjusting to mission life and would frequently call her mom to connect and feel better (which wasn't allowed). She developed chronic stress hives and frequently felt like she wasn't a successful missionary despite all the service she was doing. Josie eventually decided to go home which was another adjustment for her. She suffered from some PTSD and had a hard time with church and mission related stuff. She went to therapy which helped her process a lot of what she was feeling. Josie is still working through much of the emotions and feelings of an early return, but she is also moving forward with her life in productive and healthy ways. This is a great episode for anyone else experiencing the raw emotions of an early return, looking to know that they are not alone, that things WILL get better, and that God absolutely still loves them!

Amanda Evergreen--also known as the One-Footed Phoenix--joined me to share her story of hope and healing after having her leg amputated below the knee after getting hit by a car on her mission. Amanda walks me through her struggles with mental illness on her mission before getting hit by the car, the negative response she received while on her mission when she couldn't continue to work, and then a 3.5 year struggle with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome before the decision to amputate was made. Amanda spent some time very, very angry with God for letting this happen and wondering why He had allowed this to happen. However, as she's healed, she has been able to see blessings come into her life as a result of being an amputee. She now has a platform where she can regularly help other disabled individuals and share her faith and testimony. While she still has hard days, she sees the Lord's hand in her life still and is grateful that she is still able to reach out and help others and bring them to Christ.

Amanda's Information
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1qNp7VyV-hJ5E4iNUVZ4Wg
Instagram: @one_footed_phoenix
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/One-Footed-Phoenix-100075115887812/

Cody endured bullying in childhood and in his teenage years at school and at church. Despite this, he has a deep love for the gospel and still desired to serve a mission. He served in the south and it was a very difficult mission--not only because he was serving in the Bible belt of America, but because he dealt with narcissistic abuse from many that he worked with. He was sent home after dealing with a lot of gaslighting, fear tactics, and demands of "perfect obedience."

Upon returning home, Cody felt like a failure and began also dealing with health problems for which he met with many doctors. He suffered a lot of emotional (and subsequently physical) turmoil for years before he learned about empaths which helped him reach a hopeful turning point. He learned a lot about narcissism, how to identify it, and to protect himself against it and he shares his thoughts and some solutions in this episode. Cody and I also discussed church and mission culture and what changes/improvements ought to be considered and made to help Cody's experience not to be repeated by others in the future.

Edina lives in Hungary and was 27 years old when she joined the church. Eight years later, at the age of 35, she decided to serve a mission. It was not an easy decision for her, but she chose to do it because of her love and trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. After a short time, she returned early because her mother was very depressed. She chose to come home to help her mom. 

Mental health is not well understood in Hungary (or anywhere, really), and she had a hard time finding support. She began to struggle with depression herself and even suicidal thoughts. In the midst of all this though she recognized little miracles or inspiration from heaven that helped her move through her trials and she was able to help her mother become stable. She learned that the Atonement of Jesus Christ can help us to act when we are depressed and she gained a greater understanding that those suffering from depression need an extra amount of love and friends who will listen to their struggles rather than criticize their failures to act. 

Additionally, she realized that all returned missionaries (early or not) need time and love to readjust back into normal life. She very much hopes that by sharing her story, others will receive the hope they need to know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love them and to move forward with faith in a brighter future.

Having been born and raised in the church, Brady was excited to serve a mission. He had a bit of anxiety in the beginning as he adjusted to Brazilian culture and the language. After he became a district leader, his anxiety increased quite a bit and depression came along for the ride. It was so confusing and frustrating to sort out what was happening to him. He had a great mission president, but unfortunately some other missionaries said some hurtful and unhelpful things. Upon returning home early, he visited with therapists and doctors (for medication) and continued to try to understand what was happening with his mental health. Nine years later, Brady still struggles with anxiety and depression, but he has many words of hope and comfort for those who are also struggling.

Wallis served for four months in Calgary before coming home due to depression and self-harming. She had an amazing support group--including her companions, mission president, and parents (so if you fit any of these categories and want to know how to help your missionary, this is a GREAT episode for you!), but also came home to a heartbreaking situation with her dad being newly diagnosed with ALS. Wallis walks us through her journey of depression, self-harm, adjusting to her dad's declining state and eventual passing, all while trying to care for herself and keeping her faith strong. She talks about how she moved forward and how she is doing five years later and why others in similar situations can still have hope for a great life.

Want to share your story? Please follow this link to fill out an application: https://bit.ly/3SBqDLr

Interested in my book? Please purchase from this link with Cedar Fort. It's probably the least expensive option and I get a little extra kickback :). If you prefer audio or ebook, you can find it on Amazon.

Haley served for a total of four weeks--three in the MTC and one in the field--before choosing to return home early due to physical illness. While she had support at home, Haley still struggled with feelings of shame and loss, as well as anger towards God. In this episode she tells me her story of repairing her relationship with God, owning her decision to come home early, and working through the emotions of an early return. She also talks about how she recognized that returning to the field was not the right decision for her. This is a great episode for anyone struggling with the emotions that accompany an early return, particularly if the mission was much shorter than anticipated. 

Psychologist and Life Coach, Cortland Watson, joined me on the podcast to discuss many of the psychological and emotional aspects involved in returning home early from a mission. Using personal stories and insights from his life, his career, and his education, Cortland guides the listener through learning more about emotions, identity, expectations, failure, shame, growth vs. fixed mindset, and so much more. He offers strategies for moving forward in life with connection.  Cortland also addresses those struggling with abuse from others due to an early return and those contemplating suicide. This is an amazing episode for anyone struggling with returning home early from a mission.

Want to learn more about Cortland? Perhaps schedule a free consultation for life coaching? Please visit his website at everonwardcoaching.com

He will be presenting at BYU's Life After Loss Conference on March 18, 2023: https://lifeafterloss.ce.byu.edu/home

Want to share your story? Please follow this link to fill out an application: https://bit.ly/3SBqDLr

My editor, Brandon Kellogg, is great! If you are looking for an inexpensive audio or video editor, please reach out to Brandon at [email protected].

Interested in my book? Please purchase from this link with Cedar Fort. It's probably the least expensive option and I get a little extra kickback :). If you prefer audio or ebook, you can find it on Amazon.

Meg returned home early after three months of service in Fresno, California. She spiraled into a deep depression due to hiding her sexuality and experiencing chronic pain. Her mission president and his wife did the best with the information that they had but left her with trauma because they didn’t understand how to address mental health. In this episode, Meg talks about her journey of self-acceptance, better understanding the Atonement, helping others on their journeys, and the importance of better mental health trainings for leaders.

My editor, Brandon Kellogg, is great! If you are looking for an inexpensive audio or video editor, please reach out to Brandon at [email protected].

Interested in my book? Please purchase from this link with Cedar Fort. It's probably the least expensive option and I get a little extra kickback :). If you prefer audio or ebook, you can find it on Amazon.

Growing up in the church, Nicholas never knew if the gospel was for him and he struggled to go to church because of his anxiety and lack of desire. After receiving his patriarchal blessing, and being amazed by the things stated in his blessing, he developed a testimony of the church and decided for himself to serve a mission. He served in Denver, Colorado but soon suffered from pain and verbal abuse, which caused him to suffer from mental health issues. He also suffered some verbal abuse from his mission president, which he was later able to confront his mission president about, resolve, and forgive. He eventually decided to go home. By staying firm in his commitment to God, Nicholas has stayed firm in his testimony and been able to move forward with his life and help others.

My editor, Brandon Kellogg, is great! If you are looking for an inexpensive audio or video editor, please reach out to Brandon at [email protected].