Insight of the Week

Earning Respect


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In Parashat Tetzaveh, the Torah elaborates at great length on the topic of the bigdeh kehuna , the special garments worn by the kohanim . Every kohen was to wear four special garments, and the kohen gadol wore an additional four garments. The Torah takes these garments very, very seriously. If a kohen performs the service in the Bet Ha’mikdash and is missing even one of the required garments, he is חייב מיתה בידי שמיים – liable to death at the hands of G-d. The Sefer Ha’hinuch explains the reason why the Torah was so strict in demanding that kohanim wear these special garments. Wearing this clothing, the Sefer Ha’hinuch writes, reminds the kohen of his unique status, of his distinguished position as a servant of Hashem in the Bet Ha’mikdash . There will be days when a kohen is not so focused, when he feels unmotivated, when he is simply “not in the mood” to do the work that he is required to do. When he puts on these special garments, this has an effect on his mentality. It makes him mindful of his importance, of the significance of his role, of the great responsibility that he bears. Underlying these comments of the Sefer Ha’hinuch is a general principle that our mindset is impacted by our actions. If we’re not in the mood to do something, the best solution is to get started, to take the first steps. If we feel incapable of change, if we feel stuck, the best advice is to take action, to make one small change. Even if we don’t feel connected to Hashem, and we feel unmotivated to perform the mitzvot , we should try to do something, to say one prayer, to attend one class, to do one mitzvah , and this will have the effect of slowly changing our mood and attitude. The concept of the bigdeh kehuna is directly relevant to each and every one of us in another way, as well. The Gemara teaches that Rabbi Yohanan would refer to his clothing as מכבדותי – “that which gives me dignity.” A person’s clothing gives him his respect and dignity. When we wear an old, worn-out t-shirt and walk around in our slippers, we do not take ourselves as seriously as we do when we’re dressed in fine, formal attire. Like the kohanim , we all have a job to do. We all have to serve Hashem, each person in his or her own capacity. And like the kohanim , we need to dress in a manner that suits our job. If we dress respectably, we are far more likely to take ourselves seriously, be mindful of our importance and worth, and do our job to the very best of our ability. Indeed, studies have shown that employers place a great deal of importance on a job candidate’s dress and appearance during the hiring process. A person who dresses in a respectable manner is more likely to do his or her job well. This message is important also for another reason. Many people feel that they do not receive respect from the people around them – from their spouse, from their children, from their peers, etc. The most important thing we can do to earn respect is to carry ourselves with respect and dignity. Children are unlikely to respect a parent who slouches, who walks around the house in old, worn-out clothes, and who does not speak in a dignified manner. When we carry ourselves with dignity, this will enhance our own sense of self-worth, and will, in turn, invite the respect of other people. Instead of complaining that we do not receive respect, we need simply to begin respecting ourselves – and this begins with dressing, speaking and acting in a dignified manner. If we conduct ourselves respectfully, we will respect ourselves – and we will then be respected by other people, too.
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Insight of the WeekBy Rabbi Joey Haber

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