The fourth member of the Chosen Four has arrived at long last!

…too bad that fourth member happens to be Prince Poo, of all people. Still miffed at his recent role of servitude, he can’t help but make life a complete drag around Ness, Paula, and Jeff. He acts like such a jerk to the others that it’s bound to all come to a head, where Ness will indeed get into a fight. And while he and his friends encounter a horrible sea monster with razor-sharp fangs and fiery breath, that’s not even close to the hardest fight he’s up against aboard the sea captain’s ship!

Will the newly-united Chosen Four survive when the gigantic, ferocious, and almighty kraken attacks? Will Ness’s Gutsy Bat be enough to withstand the blows of an ancient and deadly sword? And if not, then where in the world will he find a power in himself to stand up to his most fearsome foe yet… Prince Poo himself! 

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Far away in the misty mountain kingdom of Dalaam, the young emperor-to-be Puyi, the very same mysterious boy who had been popping in and out of Ness’s adventure, finally readies himself to properly join the Chosen Four.

First, he must complete the great and harrowing trial of Mu, in which he must embrace pure emptiness itself. Then, after accepting the grand treasure of the Dalaamese people, the ancient and powerful Sword of Kings, he must walk across the sky, thousands of miles away in mere seconds, and take his place as ah… not the leader of the Chosen Four. No no, he must rather bend the knee and offer his sword in the eternal service of Ness. For a boy as haughty and powerful as Prince Puyi… that, shouldn’t be a problem, right…?

Will the young prince successfully master nothingness itself? Will Ness and his friends finish the Rockin’ sandcastle in Summers before the Prince snaps them out of their eternal summer? And will uh… will he… do you think he’s still mad about… well, he’ll get over it, right?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Well gang, looks like bailing out the Runaway Five was a dead end after all. Still stranded on the tourist-trap land of Summers, Ness and his friends agree to help a salty old Sea Captain who has enough barnacles for brains to sail the treacherous waters to the Scaraban Desert.

All they have to do is convince the Captain’s wayward wife to quit the pretentious Stoic Club and start making her wonderful “magic cakes” again. Simple, right? All they have to do is get a password to get into the Stoic Club. Simple, right? All they have to do is reach the end of the Monkey Caves and find the meditating mystic willing to write the elusive phrase on a banana peel. Simple, right? All they got to do is find a cup of noodles to give to the monkey guarding the path that leads to that monk. Simple, right? All they have to do is find the monkey that wants the slice of pizza that leads to the monkey that wants the picnic lunch and has the protein drink to the… sheesh! This maze is gonna make monkeys out of them first!

Will Ness and his friends ever make it out of Summers before Jeff finally succumbs to full-blown… tourism? Will they employ a metaphysics rigorous enough to successfully engender a gestalt change to thereby elucidate the epistemological obscurity of the physical body of a geological context taking up a great deal of ontology within the Stoic Club (…erm, probably not)? And will they ever get a chance to taste the mysterious, luscious, utterly platonically ideal… magic cake?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Ness and Jeff reach the top of the dastardly Geldegarde Monotoli’s impossibly tall building to find… Paula perfectly safe and in good spirits? And Mr. Monotoli… not so dastardly?! Yes, the mayor of Fourside was just as much a prisoner of the demon statue’s evil influence as anyone else in the big city was. After the old man explains everything, he promises to reach into his deep pockets and help the kids anyway he can, and a good start would be arranging direct transportation to the next Sanctuary’s location!

But when ugh, PORKY!!! throws a big wrench in those plans, the kids realize that getting to the third Sanctuary will be anything but smooth helicoptering. They soon find themselves stuck in the perpetual tourist-trap land of Summers, where they have no choice but to “make hay while the sun shines” despite lazy tourists and probably way too much sunshine.

Will Jeff’s awesome Sky Runner withstand the full psionic brunt of a Starman attack? Will Ness and his friends discover the fabled treasure of the Diamond Caves? Will they bail the Runaway Five out of a bad contract, sheesh, again?!

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Welcome… to Moonside!

Ness drinks the coffee, and finds himself in a spooky inversion of the big city of Fourside. Dodging monsters and wacky townspeople alike, Ness frantically heads closer and closer to the demon statue. Meanwhile, poor Jeff is still stuck in the real world, and it’s up to him to keep Ness’s body safe while his friend’s consciousness wanders around the neon nightmare world. And that’s a tall order in itself, what with Ness stumbling into heavy traffic, a security system full of deadly robots, and ugh, PORKY!!!

Will Jeff save the day at the top of the Monotoli building? Will Ness ever find a man in a Hawaiian t-shirt drinking a Mai-Tai who can successfully teleport him to a man with a unibrow and a gold tooth so he can get in before the melting Dali clocks make him take the math test again and again for the rest of his life? Will, uh… will that last one make a little more sense in context?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Fourside at last! Ness, Paula, and Jeff get busy tracking down that insidious demon statue from Twoson, but it will be easier said than done. All alone in a sprawling big city, full of grumpy adults who’d rather slurp down bitter coffee and get mad at the news than so much as give the hapless kids directions, and with no leads except the penthouse suite of the huge Monotoli Building, where security is tight and kids are definitely not allowed. 

If that wasn’t bad enough, an especially gruesome alien snatches away Paula, leaving Ness and Jeff to their own devices! And if THAT wasn’t bad enough, it looks like there’s a new and extremely annoying sheriff in town. Googly-eyed freaks, scary grown-ups, and ugh, PORKY?! The Chosen Four, now whittled down to the Chosen Two, have their work cut out for them! 

Will Ness and Jeff make it to the top of the tallest building in Fourside and rescue Paula (erm, again)? Will they get the doorman to look the other way with a sly plying of Jeff’s latest invention, “trout-flavored yogurt?” (I’ll give you that one for free, NO, OF COURSE NOT, it’s trout-flavored yogurt for crying out loud! Bleech!) And will the boys have the courage to… try the coffee?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

What the heck is this place?! Emerging victorious against the monster underneath Threed, the children find themselves in a wacky world inhabited by the Mr. Saturns, a race of silly little creatures as brilliant as they are friendly. Grateful for rescuing them from that horrible vomit beast, they show Ness and his friends a good time in their village before leading them to the second Sanctuary at last.

And then, they’re off on the next leg of their adventure, farther away from Onett than Ness had ever ventured before in his life! Will Ness and his friends stump the formidable Trillionage Sprout? Will they EVER get through this dang-nabbit traffic jam already and finally reach Fourside? And what nasty little bit of Ness’s past will rear its ugly head once more…?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Just when it seemed like it was hopeless, Ness and Paula’s new friend literally drops in on them. Jeffrey Andonuts, at your service! 

First, Jeff recounts his quick and daring escape from his boarding school way out in Winters to all the way across the world in Eagleland, with a little scientific ingenuity, a lot of derring-do, and some help from good friends, both human and otherwise.

Then, it’s time to clear out these pesky zombies from Threed once and for all! Will they be up to challenge, now that they have Jeff’s brilliant scientific mind to aid them? Will they discover the true source of the undead infestation? And, just what do zombies like to eat anyway, brains, or something else?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

The nefarious Happy-Happy Cult has been defeated, Ness has one part of the Sanctuary’s melody good and recorded in his Soundstone, and now it’s time to get out of Twoson and hit the road. Too bad the next town over has been invaded by spooky zombies! With such an infestation of the living dead in Threed, no buses will go near it with a ten-foot pole. Nuts! 

Ness and Paula have no choice but to bum a ride with the touring yacht-rock act the Runaway Five, who just so happen to be Ness’s parents’ favorite band of all time, not to mention Ness’s uh… not-so favorite band of all time. He’s tangled with aliens, with weird cults, and with predatory taxi cabs, but now Ness will face his toughest foe yet… a whole three-hour set of smooth-jazz rock, right in the front row! 

Will Ness and Paula endure the encore’s extended drum solo? Will they make it out of the strange circus tent in the middle of town and live to tell the tale? And how on earth will they ever get their third friend to join them, when he lives four thousand miles away?!

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Finally, Ness made it out of Onett alive and into Twoson. Now what?!

All alone in a strange new town, with nothing to go by but the voice of a girl in his head, and the fact that the first glowing glyph on his mysterious Soundstone looks a whole lot like Twoson’s world-famous tourist attraction, Ness sets out to make some sense of this whole weird thing. Too bad he’s going to have to deal with an especially sinister element lurking in the underbelly of the small town, as ruthless and cunning as they are… ah, not very clear in their ultimate goals. Evil cults, gigantic mutated ants, and… ugh, PORKY!

Will Ness stop the machinations of the Happy-Happyists? Will he finally meet (and successfully rescue) his “friend he never met before?” And what waits for him at the very first Sanctuary… the Giant Step?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”