The Podcast Against Giygas: An Earthbound Story

The third Sanctuary is in the bag, now on to the fourth!

…except, well, there’s a big, and frankly kind of silly, obstacle hopelessly in their way. While the Chosen Four are stranded in Winters and Jeff works tirelessly on an invention to clear the path forward, Prince Poo takes it upon himself to whisk Ness away to his homeland, the misty mountain kingdom of Dalaam. There, the Prince has big things to share with his companion, about his home, his quest, and his ultimate destiny.

Will Ness keep his footing on the weird and wonderful Pink Cloud of Dalaam? Will he emerge victorious when locked with Prince Poo in a knock-down drag out… baseball game? Or how about a silly-face contest? And… WILL Ness and Prince Poo finally, FINALLY become best friends?!

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

It was a heck of a fight between Ness and Prince Poo versus the Carbon Dog, and Ness more than earned his right to visit the Fire Spring. While Ness is occupied with the Third Sanctuary (FINALLY!!), the others of the Chosen Four open up to each other. Maybe now they’ll understand just what is going on with Paula and her visions, anyway, and just why is Prince Poo like that, anyway… and, by the way, where has ugh, PORKY been all this time? 

Will Ness come down from the fiery mountain a better, stronger boy? Will they be ready for whatever followed them down the hole in the floor to the Lost Underworld? And will Jeff be able to get the photographer man to snap a cool pic of the Chosen Four with actual real-life dinos, thereby making the single greatest scientific discovery of their time?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

The Lost Underworld, where dinosaurs roam the earth! There’s no time for a picture, though, Ness and his friends have a third Sanctuary to get to. Oh yeah, been a while since we’ve been to one of those, huh? 

Well, this Sanctuary is a little different from what the Chosen Four have been used to up till now. Ness must traverse the inside of a live volcano, an impossibly hot and hostile uphill trek toward the mysterious Fire Spring. There, he must face his most dangerous foe yet... And yeah, I know I keep saying that for every episode, but trust me on this one, the Guardian of the Fire Spring is not messing around! Worse still, Ness has to choose only one companion to accompany him! All that, and with no ice powers to speak of whatsoever?! Oh dear… Ness is really gonna have to earn that melody for the Soundstone this time!

Will Ness make it to the top of the Fire Spring? Will Ness have wisdom enough to make the right choice among his dear friends to join him? And will he muster the courage to face the ferocious Carbon Dog, in whatever form it may take… and if need be, alone?!

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Prince Poo got a right trouncing and now he’s more or less on Ness’s side for good. And not a moment too soon, because Ness is going to need all the help he can get for the next leg of his adventure!

After so many setbacks and delays, the Chosen Four finally head to the Great Pyramid in the desert of Scaraba, wherein lies the way to the ever-elusive Third Sanctuary. From there, it’s just a matter of figuring out the mysterious riddle of the Sphinx. And then solving a good old-fashioned dungeon puzzle or two, or five. And, oh yeah, doing it all before ugh, PORKY!!! can throw a wrench into the whole thing. 

Will it be Porky who blinks first in the standoff that ensues, or the Chosen Four? Will the ancient brain-teasers of the Great Pyramid be enough against boy-genius Jeff, now fully out of the Summers slump and finally “in his idiom”? And what secrets await them beneath the grand edifice, in… the Lost Underworld?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

The fourth member of the Chosen Four has arrived at long last!

…too bad that fourth member happens to be Prince Poo, of all people. Still miffed at his recent role of servitude, he can’t help but make life a complete drag around Ness, Paula, and Jeff. He acts like such a jerk to the others that it’s bound to all come to a head, where Ness will indeed get into a fight. And while he and his friends encounter a horrible sea monster with razor-sharp fangs and fiery breath, that’s not even close to the hardest fight he’s up against aboard the sea captain’s ship!

Will the newly-united Chosen Four survive when the gigantic, ferocious, and almighty kraken attacks? Will Ness’s Gutsy Bat be enough to withstand the blows of an ancient and deadly sword? And if not, then where in the world will he find a power in himself to stand up to his most fearsome foe yet… Prince Poo himself! 

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Far away in the misty mountain kingdom of Dalaam, the young emperor-to-be Puyi, the very same mysterious boy who had been popping in and out of Ness’s adventure, finally readies himself to properly join the Chosen Four.

First, he must complete the great and harrowing trial of Mu, in which he must embrace pure emptiness itself. Then, after accepting the grand treasure of the Dalaamese people, the ancient and powerful Sword of Kings, he must walk across the sky, thousands of miles away in mere seconds, and take his place as ah… not the leader of the Chosen Four. No no, he must rather bend the knee and offer his sword in the eternal service of Ness. For a boy as haughty and powerful as Prince Puyi… that, shouldn’t be a problem, right…?

Will the young prince successfully master nothingness itself? Will Ness and his friends finish the Rockin’ sandcastle in Summers before the Prince snaps them out of their eternal summer? And will uh… will he… do you think he’s still mad about… well, he’ll get over it, right?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Well gang, looks like bailing out the Runaway Five was a dead end after all. Still stranded on the tourist-trap land of Summers, Ness and his friends agree to help a salty old Sea Captain who has enough barnacles for brains to sail the treacherous waters to the Scaraban Desert.

All they have to do is convince the Captain’s wayward wife to quit the pretentious Stoic Club and start making her wonderful “magic cakes” again. Simple, right? All they have to do is get a password to get into the Stoic Club. Simple, right? All they have to do is reach the end of the Monkey Caves and find the meditating mystic willing to write the elusive phrase on a banana peel. Simple, right? All they got to do is find a cup of noodles to give to the monkey guarding the path that leads to that monk. Simple, right? All they have to do is find the monkey that wants the slice of pizza that leads to the monkey that wants the picnic lunch and has the protein drink to the… sheesh! This maze is gonna make monkeys out of them first!

Will Ness and his friends ever make it out of Summers before Jeff finally succumbs to full-blown… tourism? Will they employ a metaphysics rigorous enough to successfully engender a gestalt change to thereby elucidate the epistemological obscurity of the physical body of a geological context taking up a great deal of ontology within the Stoic Club (…erm, probably not)? And will they ever get a chance to taste the mysterious, luscious, utterly platonically ideal… magic cake?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Ness and Jeff reach the top of the dastardly Geldegarde Monotoli’s impossibly tall building to find… Paula perfectly safe and in good spirits? And Mr. Monotoli… not so dastardly?! Yes, the mayor of Fourside was just as much a prisoner of the demon statue’s evil influence as anyone else in the big city was. After the old man explains everything, he promises to reach into his deep pockets and help the kids anyway he can, and a good start would be arranging direct transportation to the next Sanctuary’s location!

But when ugh, PORKY!!! throws a big wrench in those plans, the kids realize that getting to the third Sanctuary will be anything but smooth helicoptering. They soon find themselves stuck in the perpetual tourist-trap land of Summers, where they have no choice but to “make hay while the sun shines” despite lazy tourists and probably way too much sunshine.

Will Jeff’s awesome Sky Runner withstand the full psionic brunt of a Starman attack? Will Ness and his friends discover the fabled treasure of the Diamond Caves? Will they bail the Runaway Five out of a bad contract, sheesh, again?!

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Welcome… to Moonside!

Ness drinks the coffee, and finds himself in a spooky inversion of the big city of Fourside. Dodging monsters and wacky townspeople alike, Ness frantically heads closer and closer to the demon statue. Meanwhile, poor Jeff is still stuck in the real world, and it’s up to him to keep Ness’s body safe while his friend’s consciousness wanders around the neon nightmare world. And that’s a tall order in itself, what with Ness stumbling into heavy traffic, a security system full of deadly robots, and ugh, PORKY!!!

Will Jeff save the day at the top of the Monotoli building? Will Ness ever find a man in a Hawaiian t-shirt drinking a Mai-Tai to successfully teleport him to a man with a unibrow and a gold tooth so he can get in before the melting Dali clocks make him take the math test again and again for the rest of his life? Will, uh… will that last one make a little more sense in context?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”

Fourside at last! Ness, Paula, and Jeff get busy tracking down that insidious demon statue from Twoson, but it will be easier said than done. All alone in a sprawling big city, full of grumpy adults who’d rather slurp down bitter coffee and get mad at the news than so much as give the hapless kids directions, and with no leads except the penthouse suite of the huge Monotoli Building, where security is tight and kids are definitely not allowed. 

If that wasn’t bad enough, an especially gruesome alien snatches away Paula, leaving Ness and Jeff to their own devices! And if THAT wasn’t bad enough, it looks like there’s a new and extremely annoying sheriff in town. Googly-eyed freaks, scary grown-ups, and ugh, PORKY?! The Chosen Four, now whittled down to the Chosen Two, have their work cut out for them! 

Will Ness and Jeff make it to the top of the tallest building in Fourside and rescue Paula (erm, again)? Will they get the doorman to look the other way with a sly plying of Jeff’s latest invention, “trout-flavored yogurt?” (I’ll give you that one for free, NO, OF COURSE NOT, it’s trout-flavored yogurt for crying out loud! Bleech!) And will the boys have the courage to… try the coffee?

Find out on this week’s episode of… The Podcast Against Giygas!

ROCKIN!!!

“I’ll talk about my adventure, and you can tell me about all your mistakes!”