No one’s life is a cakewalk, whatever it may look like from outside. Some strategies for coping with impediments along life’s way to fulfillment.
“Roadblocks, Detours,
and Setbacks On the Road to One’s Dreams”
This morning’s sermon was written was initially written at
the request of one of a former church member, Valerie Adams, who made a winning
service auction bid and asked me to preach on: roadblocks, detours, and
setbacks on the road to one’s dreams. “What do you do,” Valerie asked me, “when
you meet with obstacles that prevent you from accomplishing your hoped for
plans?” Valerie died half a year ago, following a remarkable life of dedication
and service. Born on the First Nations Lil’wat Reserve, Mt. Currie Band, about
300 miles due north of here, Valerie went from foster care to singing
prfessionally to working her way through college, being elected to Phi Beta
Kappa, working for the Los Alamos National Laboratory, nurturuing a
extraordinary family, and being among the most generative and truly universalist souls I have ever known. I
pulled this sermon out of a barrel, as they say, consulted a few updated
sources, and offer it in honor of Valerie Rose Adams.
Thinking about Val’s question I had some ideas of my own, but
I also resolved to ask others, people I know and admire, what they did under
similar circumstances. Like a lot of people—most people I suspect—I’m a
dialectical thinker. By which I mean, I think best when in dialogue with
others. Considering what others have to say about a given issue helps me refine
my own ideas, and more often than not, making me consider the issue from
another’s perspective gives me greater insight and perspective.
Roadblocks, detours, and setbacks, of course, are familiar to
all of us. No one’s life is a cakewalk, whatever it may look like from outside.
As my favorite grandmother used to say, “It’s never easy.” Meaning, life is
filled with difficulties. As Zorba the Greek puts it in Nikos Kazantzakis’
novel of the same name: “Problems? Life is problems. Only the dead have no
problems.” The key is how we deal with them.
At General Assembly last June in Spokane I spoke with several
delegates. One of the first people I asked was Suzanne, a remarkably upbeat and
resourceful church leader I’d known in Santa Monica. “Make friends.” she said,
“And ask for help. Many setbacks are the result of false assumptions we’ve
made,” she went on, “or unrealistic expectations. If I can keep my eyes on the
ultimate goal while dispensing with false expectations, setbacks often turn out
to be blessings in disguise.”
Suzanne’s remarks reminded me of an excellent little book I
read a few of years ago, The Four Agreements by the Mexican author Don
Miguel Ruiz. One of our most common mistakes, writes Ruiz, is making false
assumptions and expectations, especially about timing. Achieving our
goals, if we’re clear with ourselves and with others about what we truly want, is
possible. But what’s possible in the fullness of time may not be
possible today, or even tomorrow. Ruiz was trained as a medical doctor, but
also comes out of the traditional Toltec practices and spiritual wisdom
of his native Mexico.
The need to overcome any number of obstacles on the path of
life was understood by ancient people everywhere, and all the world’s wisdom
traditions speak to it. One of the oldest books in the world, the Chinese I
Ching, was first written down about 1200 BCE. Its purpose was one of oracular
divination and it was used in the courts of ancient China whenever very
important decisions had to be made. Not unlike the soothsayers of ancient
Greece who consulted the oracle at Delphi or astrological signs, the Chinese
have for millennia consulted the I Ching whenever they needed to get a
reading on the current situation. The Ching is also used whenever
important personal decisions have to be made, such as whether it’s a propitious
time to have a baby, or to plant one’s crops. Subtitled t
